Orginal Post
December 26, 2008
An example of this is most vividly portrayed in the movie "Brokeback Mountain." It takes place when Ennis and Jack are together again for the first time in 4 years, after first meeting on Brokeback Mountain. They are sitting around a campfire in the evening and Ennis is relaxing reclining back starring up at the stars. Jack looks over at Ennis and says to him, "Is there anything interesting up there in heaven?" Ennis replies with a very pleasant smile on his face "I was just sending up a prayer of thanks." This is a very tender moment in the film, which Jack is in a way proposing to Ennis. Jack tells Ennis that "... it could be like this always, just like this, always." Ennis's face loses its smile becoming strained as he turns his face away from Jack, looks down at the ground. Ennis then begins to soberly tell Jack about this vivid flashback he is having to his early childhood days growing up. Ennis describes for Jack this disturbing scene from his past how his father took him and his brother along this pathway in the country to show them the kind of violence that happens to adult men who lived together. The traumatic psychological effects from this event with his father appear to have remained vivid throughout Ennis's adult life. It is shown in Ennis's inability to form and be in a relationship, any kind of relationship, but particularly the one with Jack, to go with Jack, and build a life together.
______________________
I have been so saddened by Pope Benedict XVI's cruel words to LGBTQ people around the world, to their parents, families and friends, most ESPECIALLY TO CHILDREN. After reading the accounts of this human travesty, I did not know where to find comfort or hope. And then I thought about your blog. And just like receiving a wonderful Christmas present, sure enough I found the hope and comfort I needed to hear.
I am a priest and a clinical psychologist (MS). And for one of my research projects I chose to do a qualitative research project of the recorded verbal accounts of survivors of the Holocaust, 50 years after the event. It was a difficult research project, because I could not make sense of one of the accounts of the survivors.
For example, one survivor was describing what it was like riding the train to AUSCHWITZ, but he was describing how he was trying to make conversation with a girl on the train. I listened and wrote out this one account almost 30 times but I just was not getting it. I could not understand how this man could be talking about wanting to make conversation with this girl on the same train to AUSCHWITZ!?!
Because I had taught high school religion classes for nearly 20 years, it hit me hard, like a flash of lightning. Instantly, all the pieces came together, so fast. Though this survivor was in his late 60’s when he gave his account of his story on audiotape, he was remembering the events that took place, but naturally they were recounted through the mind of a teenager, the age he was on the train to AUSCHWITZ. That is why the dialogue wasn’t making any sense. I was thinking of him as an old man because the voice on the audiotape was the voice of a 68-year-old. As shocking as a bomb going off, all the different aspects of the psychological developmental stages of a teenager kicked in. I realized only too fully that he was just a young normal teenager on that train!!! And so was the girl he was trying to make conversation, and their moms and dads were there with them!!! There was no way to pretend I did not realize what I discovered. It kept hitting me: this is not some script from a movie or TV miniseries on the Holocaust. No; as much as I wished it were. The reality of this horror hit me all at once, on so many different levels of consciousness: what an unbelievable horror it was!!! How could we treat human beings like this! I remember when the realization of the magnitude of this horror first hit me, like an instant reflex. I threw down the transcript I was holding as if it were a blazing hot poker. It kept hitting me over and over again that this is not a movie script or some kind of play – this really happened! It really happened! Oh, my God, how could this have happened!?!!!
My supervisor told me at the time that I was traumatized by the oral content. Qualitative research is an attempt to understand the complexity of emotions, the kinds of emotions, and the degree of intensity involved. Our emotions are what allow us to connect with other human beings. We identify with the non-verbal quality of emotions more immediately and strongly than with the words used to express them. The non-verbal qualities include tone of voice, eye contact, facial expression, body posture, and gestures, all of which express emotions. Emotions are why we can connect with people through time, across cultures, and individually. It is the expression of human emotions in the arts that makes some works of art timeless, because they continually speak to all people through the ages.
And when I heard what Pope Benedict XVI said about homosexuals and transgendered human beings at Christmas 2008, I felt that same trauma all over again. Because in some way, somehow, he was conveying in a non-verbal manner the horror of the Holocaust, in what appears to be a traumatized, trance-like, accepted social norm from that period of time dictating that some people just don’t count, aren’t important, and can be easily disposed of. And if you rock the boat, you could be next to be disposed of.
I truly have to believe that a person in his position would not be doing this consciously or intentionally. The horror of the Holocaust is like an atomic bomb with fallout so extensive that it spreads over a radius of more than 150 miles. The horror of the Holocaust began in 1933 and ended in 1945. The psychological fallout would have been far more extensive and more deadly, especially when it is not identified as such.
It hit me the way it did when I realized that the research I was doing about a Holocaust survivor, a man 68 years old telling his story, who was remembering what it was like to be on the train to AUSCHWITZ, from the perspective of a young teenage boy who just wanted to talk to a girl. It seemed like the same kind of horror, a tacit assumption that some people don't count and can be disposed of without remorse. Could it be that Benedict XVI is unconsciously repeating Hitler's crime against humanity by taking on a long-accepted social attitude from that period of time?
The question I asked myself was: what would it have been like for someone growing up gay during the Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933 -1945?
What would be the severity of the psychological effects on a boy who grew up to be gay in Germany during the time of Hitler’s NAZI PERSECUTION OF HOMOSEXUALS 1933 -1945? During the Nazi regime, homosexuals were publicly defamed and falsely accused for the major social problems of that time, which was done to incite massive public hatred and hostility directed against homosexuals. Homosexuals were used for medical experiments, physically mutilated, brutally tortured and exterminated.
Would this child, as an adult, in a severe dissociated state of mind from his own homosexual feelings (Harry Stack Sullivan MD, Dissociative Processes, Clinical Studies on Psychiatry (1956)), unconsciously perpetuate the terrifying horror of the insensitivity he had experienced growing up? If he found himself in a position of authority would he recreate the same social and political environment of violence and terror for homosexuals that he experienced, as a child who grew up to be gay, during the NAZI PERSECUTION OF HOMOSEXUALS?
I think in truth on a much deeper level I was frightened, really frightened, to hear Pope Benedict XVI’s Christmas remarks against homosexuals and transgendered human beings and even more frightened by the silence from the larger global community of human beings. What is so frightening is, even if there is agreement that one person does not matter or is not important, in truth then no one matters. Therefore, when I thought about your blog and what you did on October 5, 2008, I felt more reassured, I felt hope, and I felt comforted. NOW, isn’t that the true meaning of Christmas?
God Bless you,
. . . .Written by Martin S. Kurylowicz, M.Div., M.S.
Edited by Madeline Wright, Ph.D., M.S. . . . .
AUTHORITARIAN ≠ AUTHORITATIVE Benedict XVI UNSUBSTANTIATED Antigay Teachings, November 29, 2010
SEXUAL ORIENTATION is less about sex and more about LOVE, being one with another human being - ATTACHMENT THEORY | - INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA - “Auschwitz – Benedict XVI - Christmas 2008 - Brokeback Mountain” (NP)
Prop 8 Oral Argument to Be Heard Monday
by Judith E. Schaeffer,
December 3, 2010 – The Huffington Post
Marriage equality for same-sex couples will be front and center this Monday, December 6, as the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in San Francisco hears oral argument in the appeal of the federal District Court ruling striking down California's infamous Proposition 8, a ballot measure that amended the state Constitution to prohibit same-sex couples from marrying. The argument will be broadcast live on C-SPAN starting at 1pm Eastern/10am Pacific. My organization, Constitutional Accountability Center (CAC), has filed a friend of the court brief in this case in support of the ruling invalidating Prop 8, and my colleague Elizabeth Wydra (CAC's Chief Counsel) and I will be "live blogging" the argument right here on Huffington Post as soon as things get underway. Whether or not you can get to a TV, we hope you'll join us on Monday, as we discuss the proceedings, live. For now, here's a short preview of the case and what to expect during the argument.
Read complete report:
[Unsubstantiated] --- RELIGIOUS BELIEFS that gay and lesbian relationships are
SINFUL or INFERIOR to heterosexual relationships
HARM gays and lesbians.
Judge Vaughn Walker Ruling
California Prop 8. August 4, 2010
Gay marriage -> Restoring
"Hope of Love"
To Children In Early Childhood -> Marriage Equality
March 23, 2010 – by Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Marriage Equality, like Galileo, is the truth about the facts of growing up gay. Marriage Equality will not become a reality until people learn that its most vital purpose is that it restores the “hope of love” to children in early childhood – essential to their development and well-being for life. Without Marriage Equality we teach children how to hate love and how to be mean and indifferent to people as adults. With all due respect, without Marriage Equality we would teach them in much the same way as has been shown by Benedict XVI and the hierarchy, especially in their lack of care and protection of children for decades.
The Psychology of the Closeted
Individual and Coming Out
In contemporary gay culture, to hide one sexual identity is referred to as either “closeted” or “in the closet.” Revealing oneself as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) is called “coming out.” 16 Paradigm • Fall 2007
by Jack Drescher, M.D.
Internalized Homophobia
American Psychoanalytic Foundation Public Forum
Ralph Roughton, M.D. 1999
…When we speak of internalized homophobia, we refer to the shame, denigration and anger turned inward onto the self of the homosexual individual either as a re-internalization or from the absorption of homophobic attitudes in the environment and then identifying with the hated and feared object. The primary emotion is shame, but a whole gamut of inhibitions, loss of self esteem, depression and self-destructive behavior often follow.
Read complete address:
"ANGELS IN AMERICA" - Benedict XVI & Hierarchy – “No Angels In The Vatican” - Ignorance about human sexuality is extremely harmful to children.
"ANGELS IN AMERICA"
(2003)
Playwright Tony Kushner adapts his political epic about the AIDS crisis during the mid-eighties, around a group of separate but connected individuals.
Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes is a play in two parts by American playwright Tony Kushner. It has been made into both a television miniseries and an opera by Peter Eötvös…
As the seven-hour play progresses, Prior is visited by ghosts and an angel who proclaim him to be a prophet; Joe finds himself struggling to reconcile his religion with his sexuality; Louis struggles with his guilt about leaving Prior and begins a relationship with Joe; Harper's mental health deteriorates as she realizes that Joe is gay; Joe's mother, Hannah, moves to New York to attempt to look after Harper and meets Prior after a failed attempt by Prior to confront Hannah's son; Harper begins to separate from Joe whom she has depended upon and find strength she was unaware of; and Roy finds himself in the hospital, reduced to the companionship of the ghost of Ethel Rosenberg and his nurse, Belize, a former drag queen and Prior's best friend, who meanwhile has to deal with Louis's constant demands for updates on Prior's health.
Read more:
I'm His Child
Zella Jackson Price
Memorable quotes “Angels in America”
Joe Pitt: Stop it! Stop it! I'm warning you! Does it make any difference that I might be one thing deep within? No matter how wrong or ugly that thing is so long as I have fought with everything I have to kill it? What do you want from me? What do you want from me Harper, more than that? For God's sake, there's nothing left. I'm a shell. There's nothing left to kill. As long as my behaviour is what I know it has to be, decent, correct that alone in the eyes of God.
Joe Pitt: All I will say is that I'm a very good man who has worked very hard to become good and you wanna destroy that. You wanna destroy me but I am not gonna let you do that.
Hating Gays:
An Overview of Scientific Studies
by Gregory M. Herek
Public Broadcasting Service (PBS)
…It frequently is assumed that feelings of personal threat result in strong negative attitudes toward homosexuality, whereas lack of threat leads to neutral or positive attitudes. This perspective often is associated with the term homophobia, and it derives from a psychodynamic view that prejudiced attitudes serve to reduce tension aroused by unconscious conflicts.
Attitudes are likely to serve a defensive function when an individual perceives some analogy between homosexual persons and her or his own unconscious conflicts. Subsequently, that person responds to gay men and lesbians as a way of externalizing inner conflicts and thereby reducing the anxiety associated with them. The conflicts specific to antihomosexual prejudice presumably involve a person's gender identity, sexual object choice, or both. For example, unconscious conflicts about one's own sexuality or gender identity might be attributed to lesbians and gay men through a process of projection. Such a strategy permits people to externalize the conflicts and to reject their own unacceptable urges by rejecting lesbians and gay men (who symbolize those urges) without consciously recognizing the urges as their own. Since contact with homosexual persons threatens to make conscious those thoughts that have been repressed, it inevitably arouses anxiety in defensive individuals. Consequently, defensive attitudes are likely to be negative… - International Day Against Homophobia
Read complete article:
WIDESPREAD HOMOPHOBIA
in the Catholic Church
Theologian says much of clergy is gay
by Derek Scally,
November 22, 2010 – The Irish Times
WIDESPREAD HOMOPHOBIA in the Catholic Church stems from its large number of closeted priests, a German theologian has said.
David Berger, an expert on St Thomas Aquinas and former publisher of a Catholic magazine, has called for Rome to own up to the gay priests in its midst and alter its attitudes and teaching on homosexuality.
“It must be acknowledged that a large number of Catholic clerics and trainee priests in Europe and the United States are homosexually-inclined,” Mr Berger told Der Spiegel magazine.
“The worst homophobia in the Catholic Church comes from homophile priests, who are desperately fighting their own sexuality,” he said. “Obviously, those who follow their urges are repudiated more fiercely when one is so painfully repressing that disposition oneself.”
…Mr Berger “came out” in April after the Bishop of Essen, Franz-Josef Overbeck, described homosexuality as perverse and a sin during an appearance on a television chat show.
As a gay man in a long-term relationship, he said he had suffered for years under the homophobic atmosphere in the church.
Read complete article:
Hate Crime Bill vs Attacks
But
No Facts -> Fear And Ignorance
Of The Blind Leading The Blind
October 27, 2009 – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
The bible in fact does not condemn Galileo or homosexuality, which science reveals that are normal elements of nature and human sexuality.
People for whatever reason seem to be using the bible to hide from their own personal sexual issues. This is a sacrilege! It is a total disrespect for the bible to be used to hide and harm innocent people, most especially children. These people do not check out the facts about the bible and science on homosexuality, because in truth they do not want to know the truth. Even in discourse with people who believe that homosexuality is evil because they say the bible states it to be, as with Galileo, they are not interested in a discussion, they do not want to hear the truth. They only want to discredit the truth, in every conceivable way, by whatever means available to them. They are likely doing what they have been doing all their lives regarding their personal fears about the truth of their sexuality. There is nothing to be gain to be in discourse with such people. In fact, they should be avoided, because they are harmful. Because no matter what they say or how violently they say it, it will not cause the sun to revolve around the earth or for homosexuality to be evil. Photo
ATTACKS and absolutely NO FACTS
from the
BIBLE or SCIENCE
It is a waste of time for you and for them, besides being seriously harmed by their "unchecked meanness" towards others. If and when they do their homework and truly study both the bible and the science regarding homosexuality and human sexuality then there could be a productive discourse. Otherwise, there are no discussions with them; only continuous personal attacks on the person who opposes them that are fierce, cruel and hurtful. Likely, in the way they treat themselves, which may have started when they were treated in such fashion, in their past.
Even Jesus advised leaving them because, as he said, "they are the blind leading the blind" Matthew 15:14. And it is these people who are worried that their freedom of speech will be curtailed, by the new additions to the Hate-Crime Bill. It is only their ability to remain in darkness that is being curtailed, which is greatly more fearful to them, than their concerns about their freedom of speech. They have attacks but absolutely no facts, all motivated by fear and a self-imposed ignorance of the facts. This is the same for Benedict XVI and his hierarchy you never hear any stated facts regarding human sexuality. None!!! They offer absolutely "no" discussion or classes on the topic of human sexuality. None!!! They offer no detailed documentation regarding human sexuality from the bible or science. None!!! Because they know only too well that it would not be approved by scripture scholars or by any scientific studies. Where is the truth, not to mention the LOVE?
Their attacks are likely meant to be distractions to stay off the issue, because any attempts to keep them on the issue are met with fiercer and even more vicious attacks, but no facts, like an obsession. They seem to be like a child throwing a hysterical tantrum, however, unlike a child, they are able to cause serious harm to innocent people. It is this violence that the Hate-Crime Bill is designed to protect people from.
It is the intensity of their forcefulness to attack others without any substantiated facts to support their position that draws public attention to question their sexuality. It is like so many public figures who so forcefully have spoken out against homosexuality and then are found in "public restrooms" engaging in homosexual acts. Today, not only are more people "coming out" of the "closet" but there is an enormous ever growing number of Allies supporting LGBT people and their civil rights. It is the continuous education on human sexuality that keeps this number growing strong. However, it is also becoming more noticeable when someone protest too much against homosexuals with the absence of factual data to support the protesting that catches peoples attention and causes people to wonder, why? What causes this person to protest so strongly, because no valid facts are given?
What should be top priority is the life harm that is caused to children, who grow up LGBT and sadly it is not even considered of any importance. The Bible is about Love the purest form of Love known. The Bible is not about permission to hate, to remain blind or to harm people, especially very young children.
Posted: October 27, 2009
Related links:
Active Hate Group - Benedict XVI UNSUBSTANTIATED Antigay Teachings - Anti-Gay Rhetoric | Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
Hate under cloak of religion
by Tim Rutten,
December 1, 2010 – Los Angeles Times
The Southern Poverty Law Center rightly calls out the Family Research Council's anti-gay rhetoric.
The Southern Poverty Law Center is an organization with deep roots in the civil rights movement. Its ingenious lawsuits helped break the back of the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist factions, and in recent years, it has joined the Anti-Defamation League as a reliable monitor of hate groups.
The Family Research Council is an influential Washington-based advocacy group with deep roots in the religious right. Its annual political forum, the Values Voter Summit, has become a nearly obligatory stop for ambitious Republican office-seekers hoping to win the support of so-called values voters. In recent years, the council has given an increasing share of its attention to opposing marriage equality and open military service by gays and lesbians.
Now, the two groups are locked in a sharp confrontation that raises crucial questions about where the expression of religiously based views on social issues ends and hate speech begins.
Last week, the law center added the Family Research Council to its list of more than 930 active hate groups, citing the anti-gay rhetoric of its leaders and researchers, which have included calls to re-criminalize consensual sex between individuals of the same gender. The Southern Poverty Law Center defines a hate group as one with "beliefs or practices that attack or malign an entire class of people, typically for their immutable characteristics."
… Such rhetoric is eerily reminiscent of that with which religiously affiliated opponents of African American equality once defended segregation…
So long as even the most objectionable religious dogma stays under the church roof, it's a constitutionally protected view…
However, when a group sets out to impose its views on the rest of society by lobbying for public policies or laws, it can no longer claim special protections or an exemption from the norms of civil discourse simply because its views are formed by religious beliefs. This is precisely the dodge the Family Research Council has been running…
Read complete report:
400,000 Anti-gay marriage DVDs - $1 million Nienstedt - Minnesota October 29, 2010 - RELIGION & ETHICS PBS – video (NP)
Benedict XVI - INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA
"It [homosexuality] remains something that is against the Nature that God originally willed.” - UNSUBSTANTIATED ANTIGAY STATEMENT – Selective Attention – Dissociation – Process of Projection - permits EXTERNALIZATION of unconscious conflicts - rejecting own unacceptable urges by rejecting lesbians and gay men (who symbolize those urges) without consciously recognizing the urges as own. - PLANK & SPECK - Luke 6:40-42 & GALILEO – November 24, 2010
AUTHORITARIAN ≠ AUTHORITATIVE Benedict XVI UNSUBSTANTIATED Antigay Teachings, November 29, 2010
New Rules Affirm Pope Benedict's Stance Against Gays
By Daniel Williams,
October 8, 2005 – The Washington Post
ROME, Oct. 8 -- In the first five months of Pope Benedict XVI's reign, stern opposition to homosexuality in and outside the Roman Catholic Church has quickly become a prime public message for the Vatican.
The new pontiff plans to issue guidelines that attempt to inhibit homosexuals from entering seminaries to train for the priesthood. Church inspectors have embarked on a tour of U.S. seminaries and, according to their working papers, are tasked to ask: "Is there evidence of homosexuality in the seminary? (This question must be answered.)"
Benedict also has energetically fought legal recognition of homosexual couples.
For the church and for Benedict, taking a public stance on homosexuality is not unusual. Church observers have noted that for the quarter-century before becoming pope, Benedict, then known as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, served as the Vatican's chief enforcer of orthodoxy, drafting official positions regarding homosexuality.
"No doctrinal chief has ever written and spoken about homosexuality as extensively as Ratzinger has, because homosexuals have never had the freedom to organize and demand recognition they enjoy today," wrote author John L. Allen Jr. in a biography of Benedict, published before he became pope.
His papacy's early focus on homosexuality is a reaction to outside events, some analysts have said: the spread of so-called civil unions or marriage rights to same-sex couples, and the disclosure of sexual abuse by priests. Vatican officials have largely blamed the abuse on homosexuality…
Some bishops note that the church already has prohibitions on homosexuals from entering the priesthood and suggest that a restatement will only make the church look intolerant, Vatican officials say…
Read complete report:
“KNOW YOURSELF”
JOHN PAUL II
ENCYCLICAL LETTER
FIDES ET RATIO
OF THE SUPREME PONTIFF
JOHN PAUL II
TO THE BISHOPS
OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
ON THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN FAITH AND REASON – September 15, 1998
Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth; and God has placed in the human heart a desire to know the truth—in a word, to know himself—so that, by knowing and loving God, men and women may also come to the fullness of truth about themselves (cf. Ex 33:18; Ps 27:8-9; 63:2-3; Jn 14:8; 1 Jn 3:2).
Read complete Encyclical Letter:
Fides Et Ratio
Of The Supreme Pontiff
John Paul II http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_15101998_fides-et-ratio_en.html
“Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish.” http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/letters/1988/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_19880601_padre-coyne_en.html
Faith can never conflict with reason The 'Galileo case' teaches us that different branches of knowledge call for different methods, each of which brings out various aspects of reality. http://www.its.caltech.edu/~nmcenter/sci-cp/sci-9211.html
“There are no irreconcilable differences between science and faith” - PopeJohn Paul II
Pontifical Academy of Sciences ...had direct discussions with John Paul but” – not with Benedict XVI … refuses to discuss controversial topics such as contraception… November 5, 2010 – FoxNews.com
Gay Marriage & Galileo:
Pope described as …"so averse to anything intellectual that everyone has to play dense and ignorant to gain his favor"
The Trial of Galileo - by Douglas O. Linder (2002)
UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI-KANSAS CITY (UMKC) SCHOOL OF LAW
Growing Up Gay - KNOW THYSELF
Life Begins After “Coming Out”
No Longer Afraid of Truth & Love – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
I’m a thousand different people,
every single one is real - I’ve a million different feelings, OK but at least I feel!
Originally posted:
May 21, 2009
GUILT
Guilt is a funny thing. It is sticky and clings to you like a magnet. You can push it all around put it in your hat or stick it in your shoe but there is no losing it. This is true no matter how much you can convince one or 100’s of your innocence you still go home with your guilt. You can pretend it isn’t there, but you will be fooling only yourself because everyone else will see the truth and your guilt.
Peace of mind on the other hand doesn’t stick it just “is” you either have or you don’t. It is comfortable through all kinds of life situations, even if death looks imminent, its’ there for you. It is only acquired through a self-generated atomic love for truth and justice. Years ago, a close friend noticed my guilt in the form of anger. He said you are always angry; you look like you are on fire sometimes. I brushed him off thinking he doesn’t know what he is talking about, but what he had said to me never left me. I couldn’t shake it off. I realized that he was right, which only increased my anger. He identified my guilt. I noticed that I was angry whenever I was around someone like my friend who I was quite unconsciously attracted to, but would never admit it to myself. My friend was someone I really liked and it seemed that whenever our friendship grew closer my anger grew stronger keeping us separate. Anger and depression seemed to be so indelibly etched in my life always wanting to love and to be loved and unknowingly pushing it away whenever it came close to me.
And when I would return home I would still be angry and would remain so for several days later. After being away from my friend I would calm down, but all anyone had to do is mentioned my friend’s name and that white-hot anger inside of me was lit once again. My normal personality is generally light hearted and gregarious. So, when I would get angry it was quite out of character for me. My anger was never directed at anyone. It was more like a pressure cooker letting off stream, well okay, except for a rector every now and then. Otherwise, I was really quite safe to be with, more often comedic, animated and fun, too. I would rant and rave on and on about something completely out of the blue. I can remember being out with good friends and after getting carried away in some fit of anger about absolutely nothing of any significance. Then realizing what an idiot I was sounding like, I looked at my friends and started laughing pounding my hand on the table declaring, "I am really a very nice person!!!" Photo
ANGER = THERAPY
It was because of this anger, which was mixed with depression that I went into therapy. I couldn’t understand where all this anger was coming from, at times I swear my anger was strong enough it could light up all of New York City. Interesting, during my therapy sessions I never dealt with my sexuality, it was noticeably absence, even to me later on. And oddly enough I would say to my therapist that the therapy isn’t helping me because I still get as anger as I did before. What was also noticeable was that I was always talking about other people’s gay relationships. When my therapist said “Me thinks He Doth Protest Too Much” I past this statement off as my therapist just doesn’t understand me. Little did I know he was quite on target. However, it was not after changing and trying two other therapists before I came to understand the truth about myself though I did not “come out” to myself in a therapy session.
VATICAN'S ANTIGAY TEACHINGS = THERAPY + PROLONGED THERAPY
What severely impacted my many years in therapy was that I was inwardly consciously and unconsciously holding on very tightly, with a child like belief, to the Vatican's antigay teachings, which were conveyed to me as far back as my early childhood years. Little did I know that that was the very reason why I was in therapy in the first place and what was unnecessarily prolonging my need to be in therapy. So harmful are the Vatican's antigay teachings to a child who grows up to be gay and then continues to be harmful throughout his adult life.
COMING OUT and NEW BEGINNINGS
The very first person I was able to “come out” to was a Trappist Abbot, who I visited yearly, some 3000 miles away from where I lived. I came out to him just before I was to enter the monastery. The Abbot was shocked that I thought being "gay" was something bad. He said "Why it is a 'gift' from God!!!" Then I was in shock. It was not the response it had expected. I was completely confused. Disappointed at first, however, "life" began there for me but ever so faintly but it was definite I was "different." The Abbot told me ever so kindly and reassuringly that I must, first, go back out into the world and come to appreciate all the blessings that come with being "gay." It had the feeling of the male version of the Sound of Music. At that time, I could not even imagine being "gay" in any positive light. But I trusted the Abbot's wisdom, his sincerity, his genuine empathy for another human being and his care for me. It was not until several years later and my fifth therapist that I began to normalize to the truth about myself that I was indeed “gay.” It was at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI that I really noticed my life beginning. There were several more years of acclimating that I had to go through before I realized that I was at peace with myself and the anger I wore like a coat had greatly dissipated. All that energy trapped in suppressing the fact I was “gay” for years and years was turned loose. I went back to school now in by mid 40's. I was simultaneously enrolled taking classes at both Aquinas College, Grand Rapids, MI and the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI at the same time, all while being a full time pastor in Grand Rapids, MI (Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI) and teaching High School and 3rd grade religion classes. Without all that anger eating me up inside I came "alive" for the first time in my life! I felt like that song "But Alive" from the Broadway musical “Applause”... La Trappe, France Thomas Merton Photo (Photo not of the Monastery I attended) 800
Read complete article & related links:
Difference Between Life & Death - Being “In” And Living “Out” Of The Closet - "Why It Is A 'Gift' From God!!!" - Monastic Wisdom – Absolute Fright For Benedict XVI
30 years of Ratzinger/Benedict XVI’s - Directives To Hierarchy – To make - THREATS, SILENCE, HARM AND DISPOSAL of Catholic Personnel Supportive of LGBT Adults and Children
Gay Marriage - WITCH HUNTS ->The Crucible (1996) -> McCarthyism 1940’s -1950’s, -> Benedict XVI 2005
New Ways Ministry Symposium - Pastor "Comes Out"
March 1997
Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA
October 24, 2008
Revised December 8, 2009
Welcome to the
THALAMUS CENTER
EARLY CHILDHOOD PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT
GROWING UP GAY
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, ordained in 1979, in Grand Rapids, Michigan (below is the list of parishes where I served). I was pastor of Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan USA and in March of 1997, I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where Dr. Richard Isay, Psychoanalyst and Professor of Psychiatry of Cornell University Medical School, gave the keynote address. I was absolutely stunned just how closely I was able to personally identify with Dr. Isay’s description of the different stages of early childhood psychological development and the harm caused to children by the influence of harsh anti-gay societal and religious norms who grow up to be gay. From clinical studies, adult gay men remember feeling "different" at young as 4 and 5 years of age. This feeling "different" was identified as the natural experience of a child's sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual.
However, unlike a heterosexual male child’s natural expressions of his sexual orientation at 4 or 5 years of age, which is met with the understanding approval of the parents and his family that is support by social norms, quite the opposite is experienced by a homosexual male child’s natural expressions of his sexual orientation, at the same age. The rejection of a gay child at 4 and 5 years of age is greatly influenced by antigay religious teachings, societal norms of the parents and family, the social environment of this child. This rejection of a gay male child is a form of child abuse. The degree of trauma experienced by this gay male child caused by the feeling of being rejected by another human being because of the his natural expressions wanting to love and be loved, depends on the severity of the different forms of child abuse used on him to express this rejection. Child abuse has many different forms, emotional, physical, neglect, medical, mental and sexual. Child abuse is a crime that has life-long effects that will forever change a young child's life.
The disapproval of the parents of their child's behavioral expressions in early childhood that are not gender specific with the dictates of social and religious norms is a rejection of their gay child, which is not seen as child abuse, but rather as true parental love sanctioned by their religion. This is the insidious, deceptive nature of this kind of child abuse. One of the many ramifications experienced later in life from this type of child abuse is that it would seem to teach a child how to be mean and hurtful to other human beings and that it is socially acceptable to do so. It was at the New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, as I explain in more detail below that I felt a strong moral obligation, as any decent human being would and most especially being a priest to draw public attention to this form of child abuse that is allowed to continue blindly around the world under the disguise of religious fervor.
At this time I was forty-seven years old when I began to realize just how harmful and destructive anti-gay religious norms were during my whole life as well as to other gay people. The harm that is caused by the anti-gay religious norms, as early as 4 and 5 years of age, is being filled with a self-hatred that needlessly lasts throughout a person's life. The effects of this self-hatred is different for everyone, generally causing a person to isolate, avoid intimacy, numerous lost opportunities to succeed, and the list goes on and on.
Before the New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, ended, a newspaper reporter Pittsburgh Post-Gazette asked me, if she could use my name in a press article related to the Symposium. I felt quite taken back by this reporter's request realizing that this would publicly "out" me, as a gay priest. At the time, I was still in the process of "coming out" to myself and felt that I still had so much yet to learn. I had seriously been educating myself on the true facts about sexual orientation issues, as related to the bible, as well as, biological and psychological aspects. For the previous 3 to 4 years, before I attended this New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, I had religiously attended many LGBT related seminars, lectures, genders studies presentations at the American Psychological Associations (APA) National Conventions, PFLAG Detroit and PFLAG Ann Arbor meetings, enrolled in two "coming out" courses at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI, attending mass at Dignity Detroit and involved in the LGBT Office at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI. Though I had previously "come out" to my family and many of friends, the thought that I would ever "come out" publicly had never enter my mind. It simply was something that I never would have ever planned on doing on my own.
However, I felt morally obligated to say "yes" and stand up for children, especially, as a priest. I knew, too much to remain silent. In my mind, if I did remain silent, I honestly could not even see myself ever celebrating mass in church, again. Because, I would be in direct opposition of the very meaning of mass, which is about Christ's love for all people, most particularly for very young children. I also knew that if I did not give this news reporter the permission to use my name, I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I did nothing, "absolutely nothing" to speak out in some way to stop this kind of psychological harm caused to millions of innocent children for generations to come. I came out to my parishioners, at Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan, shortly after I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in March 1997, as reported in the news media, particularly in The Grand Rapids Press. (Press articles from “The Grand Rapids Press” Grand Rapids, Michigan, March 29, 1997, June 28, 1997, October 8, 2005 and May 27, 2006.) After I came out, I was bombarded by many inquires why I felt such an urgency to "come out" publicly to my parishioners. My answer was…
If you see a 2-year-old child playing on the train tracks of an oncoming speeding train you don't think about anything else but to grab the kid to safety! Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
I could not see any child having to go through all the needless pain and suffering that I went through. I came out to my parishioners in defense of very young children who grow up to be gay. For anyone to remain silent on this issue is to collude with the massive harm and violence caused to very young children.
Written by:
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Read more:
Ratzinger, Hurley, Maida & Accomplices
- Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
(Sequential Order of Reactions)” November 28, 2010
1 * 9 * 9 * 7 - for - C H I L D R E N
Cardinal Ratzinger (Benedict XVI) head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF) 1981-2005
March 1997 - Fr, Marty Kurylowicz “Comes out” to his parishioners to draw public attention to the harm caused to children as young as 4 and 5 years of age who grow up to be gay, by the influence of harsh anti-gay societal and religious norms, after attending New Ways Ministry Symposium, Pittsburg PA
June 1997 – Cardinal Ratzinger (Benedict XVI) authorized that Fr. Kurylowicz’s 2 terms of Sabbatical leave time be denied. Fr. Kurylowicz is to submit to conversion therapy, a reeducation on sexual orientation. Any future assignments in his Diocese of Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA were in question. Fr. Kurylowicz requested time off to study at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI; time was approved, however, regular priest salary ended and no educational funding given, though he received a letter from the Office of the Bishop of the Diocese of Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA that stated that Fr. Kurylowicz is “a priest in good standing.”
August 14, 1997, APA - Resolution on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation - Adopted by the American Psychological Association Council of Representatives
August 5, 2009 - APA appointed the six-member Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation in 2007 to review and update APA's 1997 resolution, "Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation," and to generate a report. APA was concerned about ongoing efforts to promote the notion that sexual orientation can be changed through psychotherapy or approaches that mischaracterize homosexuality as a mental disorder.
September 10, 1997 ... Always Our Children – document by the United States Conference Of Catholic Bishops
October 1, 1997, Bishops Urge Parents of Homosexuals to Accept Their Children, Themselves, Church Teaching on Human Dignity By the US Catholic Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life released Always Our Children.
October 1, 1997, Bishops: Parents, love your gay children - By David Briggs, Associated Press writer
NEW YORK -- U.S. Catholic bishops are advising parents of gay children to put love and support for their sons and daughters before church doctrine that condemns homosexual activity.
October 8, 1997, Cardinal Ratzinger, judged that the statements on homosexuality made by Father Nugent and Sister Gramick, [cofounders of - New Ways Ministry] through the procedure of the Regulations for Doctrinal Examination, were in fact erroneous and dangerous.
June 1998, “Always Our Children” - revised by Cardinal Ratzinger - Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers, NCCB Committee on Marriage and Family, Third Printing, Revised, June 1998
July 1, 1998 – DignityUSA Washington, DC – DignityUSA is Disappointed and Saddened By US Catholic Bishops' Dilution of "Always Our Children" Message
There are many such documents issued by Benedict XVI (then Cardinal Ratzenger) that need to be brought out into the light for people to realize how arbitrary, out of touch they are with the accepted research and contrived in their sentencing process of academics and scholars, lacking clarity of documentation and the explanations of the facts. Innocent people have had their lives destroyed by these shams of justice inquisitions. By Benedict XVI silencing these people from freely expressing their work based on the facts about homosexual orientation caused others like myself to suffer needlessly trying to conform to the Vatican's unsubstantiated antigay teachings, which then were taught that homosexual tendencies could be changed. It is these kinds of acts that are crimes against humanity that have to be identified and stopped and the people who orchestrate these crimes need to be held libel for their actions.
Read more:
http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/11/30-years-of-ratzingerbenedict-xvis.html
"Impending rules on gay priests create Catholic divide"
by Charles Honey – October 8, 2005
The Grand Rapids Press
When the Rev. Martin Kurylowicz came out to his Sparta parish eight years ago, he said he had struggled for years with his homosexuality.
The Catholic priest says the struggle would be made harder for many others if the Vatican issues new rules that reportedly would ban gays from becoming priests…
…"I sizzled when I read it," said Kurylowicz, 55. "It's very hurtful, is what it is. In this day and age, there's no reason for it. It sends a message that there's something wrong with gays."
Kurylowicz said he spoke out then to raise awareness of violence against gays and teach others homosexuality is not a choice but an inborn trait. Church leaders still don't understand that and contribute to gays' poor self-esteem, he said…
…"Kids as young as 4 or 5 know they're different," said Kurylowicz, a psychotherapist… "They grow up with this pervasive guilt, which sabotages their growth and motivation." The result is thousands of dollars in therapy to accept their natural orientation, he said, adding, "Does the Vatican want to take that on, like the tobacco industry had to take on for the damage it caused consumers? "…
Read complete article:
by Charles Honey - Religion Editor
The Grand Rapids Press – Archives
July 2010
President of the United States
United States Congress
United States Supreme Court
50 United States Governors
Dear -- --------,
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, a Roman Catholic priest from the Diocese of Grand Rapids Michigan ordained June 16, 1979.
In March 1997, after attending a National Symposium of the New Ways Ministry that was held in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I learned that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age know that they are different. This feeling "different" is only identified in their adult years as being gay. However, the harmful influence of antigay social and religious norms -- in particular, for Catholics, the Vatican’s unsubstantiated antigay teachings -- are severe and last throughout a child’s lifetime. The harmful effects are not isolated only to these children who grow up to be gay, but also affect their families, siblings, friends and anyone whom they might consider special in their lives. They are prescribed a societal sentence of implicit isolation, which place at risk of suicide so many innocent adolescents and young adults. They stifle an enormous amount of human potential in the world that otherwise could be put to use for finding cures for diseases, offering better ways of maintaining peace among people and improving the quality of life for everyone in the world.
Gay Marriage - “SEPARATION BETWEEN CHURCH AND STATE” Does Not Give Churches Or Benedict XVI - The Freedom To Abuse Children or Adults. July 2010 - By Fr. Marty Kurylowicz http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/09/gay-marriage-separation-between-church.html
GAY YOUTH SUICIDE | BENEDICT XVI & BISHOPS Child Sexual Abuse Cover-ups – Negligence Protecting (1) Children & (2) LGBT Children | Family of Rutgers suicide victim lends name to bill – November 19, 2010 – CNN
NO EVIDENCE SUPPORTS THESE [homosexual] STEREOTYPES
Judge Vaughn Walker Ruling
California Prop 8. August 4, 2010
Related Links:
[Unsubstantiated] --- RELIGIOUS BELIEFS that gay and lesbian relationships are
SINFUL or INFERIOR to heterosexual relationships
HARM gays and lesbians.
Judge Vaughn Walker Ruling
California Prop 8. August 4, 2010
Know thyself – Plato John Paul II
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man. - William Shakespeare
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. - Luke 6:40-42
Ricky Martin on Coming out and Coming Into His Own
- By Nekesa Mumbi Moody AP,
November 3, 2010 – ABC News
"What, am I gonna teach them how to lie?”
Ricky Martin
Ricky Martin reveals he ‘cried like a baby’ after coming out
– November 2, 2010 – PinkNews.co.uk
Ricky Martin has told Oprah Winfrey about the moment he decided to announce he was gay.
The Puerto Rican star posted a message on his website declaring himself to be a “fortunate gay man” but says he broke down in tears afterwards.
He said: “When I realised, okay, I just pressed send, whoo… I was alone.
“I was in my studio alone for a minute. My assistant walked in and I just started crying like a little baby. I started crying.”
The 38-year-old said he decided to be open about his sexuality to set a good example to his twin sons, Valentine and Matteo, two.
He said: “I couldn’t take it anymore, it was too painful.
“But I guess the most important thing is my children… When I was holding them in my arms I was like, ‘What, am I gonna teach them how to lie?’ Whoa, that is my blessing right there. Then, when I was holding my children I said, ‘Okay, it’s time to tell the world’.”
Read more:
Ricky Martin cried 'like a baby' after revealing his sexuality
– November 2, 2010
CNN.com
Pope Benedict to Beatify a
Gay Saint?
A Conservative Icon? Maybe Both
by David Gibson – September 18, 2010
Politics Daily
…"It is not good for a Pope to live 20 years," Newman once wrote of the long-lived Pius IX. "It is an anomaly and bears no good fruit; he becomes a god, has no one to contradict him, does not know facts, and does cruel things without meaning it."
Such frank talk about the failings of the hierarchy tended to make Newman a champion of liberal Catholics -- a courageous man who wrote about the "development of doctrine" in the church at a time when the Vatican was projecting an image of unceasing continuity. He also disagreed strongly with the church's adoption of the doctrine of papal infallibility, and famously wrote that if pressed, he would drink "to Conscience first and the Pope afterwards." Photo
…Complicating all the interpretations is the fact that Newman had an extraordinarily close relationship with another English Catholic, Father Ambrose St. John, who had died in 1875, leaving Newman bereft -- and giving today's gay Christians an icon of their own.
"I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband's or a wife's, but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or any one's sorrow greater, than mine," Newman wrote at the time of his friend's death. "From the first he loved me with an intensity of love which was unaccountable." And elsewhere: "As far as this world was concerned I was his first and last."
Sexual orientation - Internalized Homophobia -
“Auschwitz – Benedict XVI - Christmas 2008 -A flashback far more severe than in Brokeback Mountain”
GAY TEENAGE SUICIDE - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times. Photo
Gay marriage -> Restoring
"Hope of Love"
To Children In Early Childhood -> Marriage Equality
March 23, 2010 – by Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Marriage Equality, like Galileo, is the truth about the facts of growing up gay. Marriage Equality will not become a reality until people learn that its most vital purpose is that it restores the “hope of love” to children in early childhood – essential to their development and well-being for life. Without Marriage Equality we teach children how to hate love and how to be mean and indifferent to people as adults. With all due respect, without Marriage Equality we would teach them in much the same way as has been shown by Benedict XVI and the hierarchy, especially in their lack of care and protection of children for decades.
Galileo
Biblical quotes used to Condemn Galileo
Ecclesiastes 1:5 (New International Version)
5 The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
Ecclesiastes 1:5 (New American Standard Bible)
5 Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again.
1 Chronicles 16:30 (New International Version)
30 Tremble before him, all the earth!
The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
1 Chronicles 16:30 (New American Standard Bible)
30 Tremble before Him, all the earth; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved.
Psalm 93:1 (New International Version)
1 The LORD reigns, he is robed in majesty;
the LORD is robed in majesty
and is armed with strength. The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
Psalm 93:1 (New American Standard Bible)
1 The LORD reigns, He is clothed with majesty; The LORD has clothed and girded Himself with strength; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved.
Psalm 96:10 (New International Version)
10 Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns."
The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity.
Psalm 96:10 (New American Standard Bible)
10 Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity."
Psalm 104:5 (New International Version)
5 He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.
Psalm 104:5 (New American Standard Bible)
5 He established the earth upon its foundations, So that it will not totter forever and ever.
Read more:
Protecting Children by education about Human Sexuality.
There is a scene in an old TV series called “All in the Family” where Edith Bunker is experiencing menopause and she does not know what is happening to her. Edith’s daughter Gloria is explaining to her the symptoms of menopause. Edith feels bad that her daughter has to tell her about menopause. Photo
Edith expresses her frustration and sadness about her lifetime lack of knowledge about human sexuality.
“When I was a young girl, I didn’t’ know what every young girl should know. Now, I‘m going to be an old lady, and I don’t know what every old lady should know.” Edith Bunker – video clip
“All in the Family - Edith’s problem (TV episode 1972 #2.15)”
Edith is not alone even today. Much of the opposition to same sex marriage is likely to a great degree related to feelings and confusion about many aspects of human sexuality exactly like Edith, on the part of millions of people, for women as well as for men, everyone. However, Ignorance about human sexuality is extremely harmful to children.
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
“Someday,
maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of
all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”
…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Photo
Matthew 18:6
Protect children and the entire world will be safe.
Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
Angels In America
[Official HBO Trailer]
I'm His Child
Zella Jackson Price
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