Good evening Mr. Chairman. My name is Zach Wahls. I'm a sixth-generation Iowan and an engineering student at the University of Iowa and I was raised by two women.
My biological mom, Teri, told her grandparents that she was pregnant, that the artificial insemination had worked, and they wouldn't even acknowledge it.
It wasn't until I was born and they succumbed to my infantile cuteness that they broke down and told her that they were thrilled to have another grandson.
Unfortunately, neither of them lived to see her marry her partner Jackie of 15 years when they wed in 2009.
My younger sister and only sibling was born in 1994. We actually have the same anonymous donor so we're full siblings, which is really cool for me.
I guess the point is our family really isn't so different from any other Iowa family. You know, when I'm home we go to church together, we eat dinner, we go on vacations. But, you know, we have our hard times too, we get in fights...
Actually my mom, Teri was diagnoses with multiple sclerosis in 2000. It is a devastating disease that put her in a wheelchair. So we've had our struggles.
But, you know, we're Iowans. We don't expect anyone to solve our problems for us. We'll fight our own battles. We just hope for equal and fair treatment from our government.
Being a student at the University of Iowa, the topic of same sex marriage comes up quite frequently in classroom discussions... The question always comes down to, well, "Can gays even raise kids?"
...The conversation gets quiet for a moment because most people don't really have any answer. And then I raise my hand and say, "Actually, I was raised by a gay couple, and I'm doing pretty well."
I scored in the 99th percentile on the ACT. I'm actually an Eagle Scout. I own and operate my own small business. If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I'd make you very proud.
I'm not really so different from any of your children. My family really isn't so different from yours. After all, your family doesn't derive its sense of worth from being told by the state: "You're married. Congratulations."
No. The sense of family comes from the commitment we make to each other. To work through the hard times so we can enjoy the good ones. It comes from the love that binds us. That's what makes a family.
So what you're voting here isn't to change us. It's not to change our families, it's to change how the law views us; how the law treats us.
You are voting for the first time in the history of our state to codify discrimination into our constitution, a constitution that but for the proposed amendment, is the least amended constitution in the United States of America.
You are telling Iowans that some among you are second-class citizens who do not have the right to marry the person you love.
So will this vote affect my family?
In the next two hours I'm sure we're going to hear plenty of testimony about how damaging having gay parents is on kids.
But in my 19 years, not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple.
And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.
Thank you very much. Photos
The Golden Girls on Marriage Equality Photo
NYS Senator Diane Savino speaks on the Marriage Equality bill
Perpetuation of Generational Violence On Children
Who Grow Up to Be Gay
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
The research of Dr. Sidney H. Phillips is significant in understanding the kind of harm caused to very young children who grow up to be gay and the effects its has for these children in their adult lives. His works, as well as, Dr. Jack Drescher, Dr. Richard Isay and others bring to light the many problems and complications that children who grows up to be gay will encounter in their adult lives, when these children are raised in a social environment that has been influenced by harsh antigay social and religious norms. Whereas, children who grow up to be gay, but are not raised under the influence of harsh antigay social and religious norms, do not experience the complications in adult life, as those who do. Photo Creative Commons
Explaining clinical psychological material, especially when it relates to children warrants taking certain precautions, because clinical material is so easily misinterpreted, almost as much as the bible and other sacred religious texts to the harm of many innocent lives, especially to children. To present the research work of Dr. Phillips related to the early childhood psychological development of children who grow up to be gay, there are four important concepts to understand. First, is the importance of understanding the cognitive differences between a child’s mind and that of an adult. The second is found in Selma Fraiberg, (1987) Ghosts in the Nursery, her research helps us to understand how our past mistreatment by adults in our lives growing up as children, can be unconsciously repeated in our treatment of children, when we are adults. Harry Stack Sullivan, M.D., explains the third in his description of Dissociative Processes in his book Clinical Studies on Psychiatry (1956), Chapter 8, pp. 166 to 181. Fourth, it is important to remember the complexity of the research material on early childhood psychological development being presented here and further reading of this material and references listed is encouraged.
A Child's Mind
It is absolutely essential when attempting to understand clinical material related to the stages of early childhood psychological development to remember, at all times, that a child’s mind is not capable of seeing and understanding the world around them in the same way as an adult. Many forms of child abuse stem from negligence in this regard of not being mindful of child’s level of comprehension to perceive and interact in the child's surrounding social environment. Just as adults, we must physically bend our bodies down to play, at times, even to talk to a child, mentally, as adults, we must position our minds to the level that of a child’s mind, in order to understand and care for a small child. Personally, from my years as a parish Catholic priest and as a clinical psychologist I have found that this mental positioning of the mind to the level that of a child, working with very young children can be as therapeutic for the adult, as it is helpful for the child.
It is essential for non-clinicians, many who may be exceptional experts in their own particular fields of study and employment to take a moment to assess their ability to tune into a child’s mind. Selma Fraiberg, (1987) Ghosts in the Nursery, in her landmark work, reminds us all, clinicians, non-clinicians and parents, how even unconsciously we may mistreat children. This can be done quite unintentionally and unknowingly by inflicting on them the same kind of mistreatment we received as children growing up.
Selma Fraiberg, (1987) Ghosts in the Nursery, explains how parents' own past experiences of growing up, impacts their relationship with their own child, beginning as infants. Fraiberg’s research studied the interactions between an infant and one of the parents, when both were left alone in a room. She observed what happens when an infant begins to cry and continues crying for an extended amount of time. Fraiberg discovered that some parents appeared undisturbed by their infant's distress and made no gesture, to soothe, calm or even to pick up their infant.
What prevented these parents from attending to their crying infants? Fraiberg’s research revealed that unconscious processes, conflicts (the Ghosts) of the parents' own past were being played out, in the same way, as these parents experienced being cared for by adults during their early childhood years growing up. The reason why some parents did not pick up their crying infants was because in the past when they were growing up, no one heard their cries or picked them up to soothe them. Not having experienced the attentiveness of a caring comforting adult when they were in distress, as children, as parents, they have no conception of the need to comfort their own crying infants.
Fraiberg’s aim was to intervene at this point, in her parent/infant psychotherapy, to uncover these unconscious processes of the parents that were being played out in caring for their infants and then to them help to construct a more meaningful life-giving interactions between the parents and their infants. (Fraiberg, Selma; Adelson, Edna; Shapirio, Vivian; (1987) Ghosts in the Nursery: a Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-mother Relationships. Ohio State University Press, p. 105).
by Harry Stack Sullivan
Have you ever wonder why some very prominent male public figures, who have been known for making harsh condemning public statements against homosexuality, only to find out later in the news media that these same men were caught engaging in “public restroom” sex or were paying to have sex with men. Harry Stack Sullivan, M.D. in his description of Dissociative Processes in his book Clinical Studies on Psychiatry gives some insight, as to how this phenomenon can happen not only to public figures but also to anyone.
Instant Smoke Screen
Dr. Sullivan considers his theory of dissociative processes in understanding how “an important system of the personality is effectively barred from any disturbing influence of personal awareness for a period of years and perhaps for a lifetime.” He explains how even a blatantly obvious issue of a person’s personality, which would be expected to be in that person’s self-awareness, however, it is successfully kept out. How is this possible? Sullivan begins by explaining the dynamics of anxiety, as having an “extraordinarily arresting effect on whatever was about to happen.” So when a disturbing issue is provoked and about to enter into one’s consciousness that person feels anxious. Sullivan states that the anxiety becomes more important than the disturbing issue that has been provoked. It sounds like anxiety can be used like a drug. Because when anxiety is allowed to flood the conscious mind, it preoccupies that person’s attention, and therefore any disturbing issue is blocked out of the person’s awareness. However, over time, if anxiety is allowed to run a person’s life, Sullivan states that it ...
… generally leads to an appallingly uncomfortable life. Take for example, a person to whom any sexual impulse, any movement of lust, is an intolerable ingredient of awareness. Presumably the only discharge of impulse, which concerned lust would occur in sleep or in some other very extraordinary situation. One would expect long stretches of waking life to remain in which the person was in the throes of lust. That would mean, from our standpoint, that he was anxious, and was therefore practically incapable of that application to reality that is necessary in order to carry out complex performances, to realize goals take more than momentary action (Clinical Studies on Psychiatry, 1956, p. 168).
Contradistinction to Anxiety
Dr. Sullivan describes dissociation in contrast to anxiety, because it “does not require disturbance of the contents of consciousness and which does not act as an impediment to the conduct of life in the areas where there is not dissociation…one is more efficient and much nearer happiness, contentment.” Sullivan describes what a person suffers being in a dissociative state by what people say who are recovering from a dissociation state. They report that “... they could now take things easier. Life is less exhausting; it was not so intense; it did not tire them so rapidly per hour (Clinical Studies on Psychiatry, 1956, p. 169)."
To illustrate the processes and effects of dissociation, Sullivan chooses the example of a married man, he calls, Mr. A, who has dissociated from all his thoughts and impulses of being a homosexual. On the surface, this man’s married life is picture prefect, except for his lack of sexual relations with his wife. Although, this man’s homosexual impulses have remained constant and alive from preadolescence to the present, he has been able to successfully totally dissociate from that whole part of his life. What this means is that this man has tremendous anxiety about being a homosexual, which likely began for him, as far back as his pre adolescent years growing up. And the way he has been able not to have his anxiety become overwhelming for him is by not consciously accepting the fact that he is a homosexual. In his mind he would have seamlessly reworked any indication that would lead to the conscious fact that he was a homosexual. It is this process that Sullivan is describing, as dissociation, a level of cognitive sophistication and specificity that is seamless, undetectable consciously by the person himself. Photos | Video Shirtless Acrobats Entertain Benedict XVI
Process Of Dissociation
How this process of dissociation works is that a person is mentally reworking all perceived information from his surrounding social environment that would lead to the intensely dreaded indication that he was a homosexual. Dr. Sullivan illustrates “what a remarkable performance dissociation is,” by using his example of this married man, Mr. A. Sullivan begins by indicating that Mr. A did have a very happy experience, which was a definite homosexual relationship, in his preadolescent years growing up. However, now, as an adult, Mr. A has successfully dissociated from all conscious memory of this happy experience. Sullivan than describes how Mr. A. would react if he met someone new, Mr. X, as an adult, years later, that vividly resembled this special friend from his past. Mr. X is “the type to activate powerfully an impulse which … would lead to homosexual instances with Mr. A (p 171).” Instead, what happens with Mr. A is he will treat Mr. X “almost as a non-existent entity.” Mr. A will be polite but it will be a reduction of his normal social demeanor. If people notice that Mr. A’s behavior tends to be rather cool towards Mr. X, Mr. A will rationalize it by saying that there is just something about this new person he does not like. Sullivan goes through many examples of how Mr. A will continue to act cool, disinterested, continuously making derogatory remarks about Mr. X. However, Mr. A in his dissociative state “has anything but data on what he has been doing (p.173),” studying Mr. X’s physical profile, orchestrating to sit across from Mr. X at dinner, even to have a sexual encounter with Mr. X. Sullivan describes, Photo Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal?
Thus here is an aspect of the self-organization which frequently appear in the major tendencies. That is, a patient with a dissociated impulse will experience special cognitive distortions about anyone whose combination of positive values horribly moves the patient to integrate his dissociated impulse. These positively valued people are then endowed by the patient with the negative of the feelings that would accompany this integration, so that one literally, suavely, and automatically misidentifies the meaning of such a person. In other words, in order that the dissociated tendency shall never disturb awareness, shall not provoke anxiety – because if it did, one would be anxious so much of the time that one could not do things which are necessary to life---the security system has come to include very elaborate pseudo memories, revery processes, and so on, which amount to a wonderfully thorough piece of fantasy that neatly and very adequately excludes any ordinary ways by which one would become aware of something. You need not marvel too much that such things can be, because our erroneous explanations of things are of the same type, and you know they run very beautifully unless they happen to break down in a particularly distressful situation (Clinical Studies on Psychiatry, 1956, p. 174). Photo
The process of dissociation as described by Harry Stack Sullivan is a complex system of cognitive distortion of our perception of reality to securely avoid us from knowing some truth about ourselves. A truth, so feared, if known to us would flood our conscious mind with overwhelming amounts of anxiety, causing us to become incapacitated to function normally.
How To Stop Harming Children
Understanding the mind of a child, personal ghosts from childhood and dissociations, mentally distorting reality to avoid the conscious flooding of overwhelming amounts of anxiety are the necessary precautions to be able to effectively avoid harming children. The following postings on this blog will be dealing with the lives of real children, who have no one to keep them safe from the kind of harm that is past on from generation to generation. This kind of harm is an implicit form, not visible to the human eye, easily rationalized or denied. However, the telltale signs are left in the wake of this destructive force of this form of implicit harm. By identifying this form of implicit harm that it exists, is the first step to help prevent it from continuing and being past on to future generations.
First, making an effort to understand and learn how children are easily traumatized is critical. This, also, requires us to learn and know the ways that we may have been traumatized as children, because they are our ghosts that follow us into the nursery. It is in this way that we unknowingly past on this implicit form of harm to other generation.
Secondly, indiscriminately speaking out publically against a whole group of people globally, like homosexuals, should be the very first sign that some form of dissociation is taking place within us, personally. It is the first easy detectable clue that we our cognitively distorting reality because unless we know every homosexual in the world, we cannot in truth make such statements. Time and time again, we have witnessed in the news media major prominent male political and religious leaders publically condemning all homosexuals and then some of these same leaders are caught in some public sandal having sex with men. Photo Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals
Harmful to Children
It seemed like the process of dissociation was working overtime in the November election 2008, for many with the defeat of the gay marriage proposals. However, it also showed that the process of dissociation does not have as tight of a grip on people as it once did regarding gay marriage, because the defeat was not by any overwhelming majority.
It is critical for each person to be responsible for personally attempting to identify this form of implicit harm that can be caused to others by our own seamless process of dissociation. And that the harm that this dissociation causes, especially regarding homosexuals is generational being passed on from one generation to another, unknowingly. Photo Auschwitz - Christmas 2008 - Brokeback Mountain
Unrequited Love Affairs
Cause of Inability to Form A Close Relationship
Dissociative Efforts Buries Deep
An Illustration of the Relentless Cycles of Everyday Life
Attraction & Disappointment
Hope & Despair
Excitement, Arousal & Grief
Sexual Orientation is less about sex and more about love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - Love & Religion
Does “internalized homophobia” still matter? - by Dr. Brian Mustanski - The Sexual Continuum - Psychology Today
"Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well-considered, and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit." Erik Erikson
Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.
Kids are being hurt!!!
SEXUAL ORIENTATION is less about sex and more about LOVE, being one with another human being - ATTACHMENT THEORY
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times.
Coming out of the confusion,
by Sidney H. Phillips, M.D.
Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
Jack Drescher, M.D. in his book Psychoanalytic Therapy & The Gay Man describes the complexities related to growing up gay; from his research of developmental narratives of gay adults retrospectively recalling their feelings being gay began in early childhood. These gay feelings had remained constant, and were resistant to being altered. Dr. Drescher explains the contrast of how social norms impact the psychology of the early childhood developmental years of a heterosexual boy and a homosexual boy.
Jack Drescher, M.D. website:
The Psychology of the Closeted
Individual and Coming Out
In contemporary gay culture, to hide one sexual identity is referred to as either “closeted” or “in the closet.” Revealing oneself as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) is called “coming out.” 16 Paradigm • Fall 2007
by Jack Drescher, M.D.
SEXUAL CONVERSION THERAPIES
by Jack Drescher, M.D.
Groundbreaking Study Finds Family Acceptance of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Adolescents Protects Against Depression, Substance Abuse and Suicidal Behavior in Early Adulthood – by Caitlin Ryan, PhD, December 6, 2010 - FAMILY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT.
GAY YOUTH SUICIDE | BENEDICT XVI & BISHOPS Child Sexual Abuse Cover-ups – Negligence Protecting (1) Children & (2) LGBT Children | Family of Rutgers suicide victim lends name to bill – November 19, 2010 – CNN
Institutionalized STRUCTURAL VIOLENCE – Vatican’s UNSUBSTANTIATED ANTIGAY TEACHINGS - severe harm lasting throughout a child’s lifetime | Benedict XVI & Hierarchy CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE COVER-UPS
“ACTIVE IGNORANCE” | What's the answer to privilege?
By Alejandra Cuellar Staff Writer,
February 19, 2010 – The Climax - Hampshire College
Gay Conversion | Religious Conversion - Transforms The Damned Into The Saved | COVERING - Kenji Yoshino – 2002 - The Yale Law Journal
A. Gay Conversion
…What does it mean to convert? Generally defined as a “ [c]hange in character [or] nature,” 37 conversion encompasses mundane, value-neutral, and reversible transactions such as changes of measure or currency. Yet as the above account of electroshock therapy suggests, this general definition may fail to capture what conversion denotes for human identities. In such cases, I believe conversion often has a more specific meaning inflected by the instance of religious conversion—“ [t]he turning of sinners to God; a spiritual change from sinfulness, ungodliness, or worldliness to love of God and pursuit of holiness.” 38 Conversion in this formulation is not a mundane event, but a sacred one; not a value-neutral event, but one that transforms the damned into the saved; and not a reversible event, but in theory a unique occurrence.
Under such an account, human conversion differs profoundly from either passing or covering. Passing and covering are both perceived to be compromise formations in which the underlying identity is ostensibly preserved, modified only for popular consumption. In contrast, conversion is thought to be a more complete embrace or surrender. It is believed to change not only the expression of an identity, but the underlying substance of it.39
In this discussion, I describe the history of attempts to convert homosexuality into heterosexuality in the nonlegal field of mental health, as well as in the legal field. In both contexts, I document the same trend…
Read complete article:
Kenji Yoshino – Website
"Covering: The Hidden Assault on our Civil Rights"
A conversation with author Kenji Yoshino about Yoshino's book.
April 20, 2006 – Charlie Rose
Kenji Yoshino – Website
The Legal and Psychological Evolution in America
by Donald J. Cantor,
James C. Black, and
Campbell D. Barrett.
Lesbians, Feminism, and Psychoanalysis - The Second Wave
By Judith Glassgold, and Suzanne Iasenza. 2004
The book is divided into three sections—“Community: Personal and Political,” “Ongoing Clinical Issues,” and “New Thinking on Sexuality and Gender,” addressing lesbian tomboy development, the queering of relational psychoanalysis, how attachment theory and intersubjectivity can contribute to newer gender theory, and including:
Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal? By Henry E. Adams, Lester W. Wright, Jr., and Bethany A. Lohr, University of Georgia - 1996
Gay Catholic - Nichi Vendola - Possible ITALY’S PRIME MINISTER
USA Cross-party Catholic Leadership Gay Marriage Support
Gay marriage isn't revolutionary. It's just next.
By Stephanie Coontz,
January 9, 2010
The Washington Post
Stephanie Coontz teaches family history at the Evergreen State College and is the author of "A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s."
“Coming out” March 1997, Fr. Marty Kurylowicz | Galileo, Benedict XVI & Hierarchy UNSUBSTANTIATED Antigay Pronouncements Harmful to Children – Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
FAMILY ACCEPTANCE in Adolescence and the Health of LGBT Young Adults – Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing - Volume 23, Number 4, pp. 205–213, November, 2010
Revised February 2, 2011
Originally Posted December 19, 2008