Saturday, October 25, 2008


My hope for this blog is to follow Pope John Paul II and New Ways Ministry format of continuing bringing together the interactions of the best in the fields of medical and mental health professions, theologians, scriptural scholars, to continue the FREE SEARCH FOR TRUTH. It is ignorance that causes the most harm to innocent people. 

“There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance." 
“I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.”   Socrates

“There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance.”    Hippocrates

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”   Martin Luther King Jr.
"Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil."  Plato

"It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance."  Saint Jerome

"Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star."  Confucius

"Innocence dwells with Wisdom, but never with Ignorance."  William Blake

NEW WAYS MINISTRY that “…Like its name and its co-founders, the vision and philosophy of this group was solidly Catholic…Their work as "bridge-builders" found them reaching out, in one direction, to gay and lesbian people, and, in the other direction, to people working within the Church and  Church structures .
.. Primarily educational in mission, New Ways Ministry quickly established itself in the U.S. Catholic community as a national resource center and clearinghouse for information and materials on the topic of homosexuality as it impacts religious issues … 

… Through national symposia, New Ways Ministry has brought the best of Catholic intellectual thought and research to Catholics in parishes. Speakers at our major events have included: John Boswell, Daniel Maguire, Sister Theresa Kane, Rosemary Radford Ruether, Reverend Charles Curran, Virginia Apuzzo, Richard Isay, MD, Sister Margaret Farley, RSM, Daniel Helminiak, and Bishops Thomas Gumbleton, William Hughes, Kenneth Untener, Matthew Clark, Joseph Imesch, and Patrick Cooney...
In 1997, our twentieth anniversary year was a banner year for the ministry. In March, we sponsored the Fourth National Symposium, entitled "The Church Teaching/Teaching the Church: A National Dialogue on Lesbian/Gay Issues and Catholicism." Over 650 Catholic leaders and pastoral ministers gathered in Pittsburgh for a weekend-long in-depth and extensive discussion of topics ranging from same-sex marriage, family relationships, civil rights, homophobia, heterosexism, pastoral care, and lesbian nuns …

… At that meeting, Bishop Gumbleton made another historic statement: he called on all gay and lesbian Church workers—‘including priests and bishops’--to come out of the closet and acknowledge their sexual orientation. Little by little, awareness of gay and lesbian Church personnel is becoming a reality in Catholicism ...

October 1997 saw the publication "Always Our Children," a historic pastoral statement from the U.S. Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life. This document, directed to parents and pastoral ministers, is one of the strongest affirmations of the goodness of lesbian and gay people in the Catholic Church. ‘In you, God's love is revealed,’ the bishops say to gay and lesbian people at the close of this document which calls Catholic parents and leaders to initiate dialogue, outreach, and affirmation of the gay and lesbian members of their families and parishes ...”

NEW WAYS MINISTRY is the only forum in the Catholic Church for an open discussion from some of the best medical and mental health professionals joined with the equivalent members from the theological and scriptural fields of study.  I found this to be exceptionally true when I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in March 1997.  The co-founders Father Robert Nugent, SDS, and Sister Jeannine Gramick, SSND together they so closely followed Pope John Paul II directives that there are no irreconcilable differences between science and religion, as they remained dedicated to the pursuit of the free search for truth. 

Pope John Paul II -- No Irreconcilable Differences between Science and Religion

Every now and then, a surprising figure arises, inspired by a fuller understanding of Christ's love and willingly confronts the fierce opposition of complacency, with the hope to initiate a resiliency of love for all people, ending all forms of hatred. Pope John Paul II was one of these figures, which in an unprecedented gesture of humility, in 1992, publically apologized to Galileo for the Vatican’s error and declared him “not guilty,” 359 years later. photo Time Magazine Man of the YearDec. 26, 1994    Read the Cover Story

He stressed that there are no irreconcilable differences between science and religion, stating “Science can purify religion from error and superstition. Religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes.(LETTER OF HIS HOLINESS JOHN PAUL II TO REVEREND GEORGE V. COYNE, S.J., DIRECTOR OF THE VATICAN OBSERVATORY) From the Vatican, 1 June, 1988.  

In 2000, Pope John Paul II’s unwavering persistence to right the wrongs of the Church in the past, and despite the resistance from inside the Vatican, he proved to be unstoppable. On March 12, 2000, he made a public apology, asking forgiveness from God for sins committed by the Church, against groups of people, “We are asking pardon for the divisions among Christians, for the use of violence that some have committed in the service of truth, and for attitudes of mistrust and hostility assumed towards followers of other religions." Pope John Paul II pleaded for the hope that “Never again,” would the Church repeat these kinds of violence. (Rory Carroll) 

Pope John Paul II began a process of removing the blindness of Church authorities caused by years of arrogance; he was replacing it with humility to open new ways to understanding and unity. This unprecedented act of humility, his public apology for the Church’s past sins, rekindles a sense of hope, in the Church. It was similar to the way Pope John XXIII, inspired hope by his words calling for the Second Vatican Council, 1962, "I want to throw open the windows of the Church so that we can see out and the people can see in." These unprecedented public acts made by world church leaders generates hope, which should not be dismissed too readily because the light of hope does not shine yet in all areas of human life. It is the work of hope to keep it alive, giving it birth in areas where hope has yet to shine. 

In 1962, Pope John XXIII, named Man of the Year in 1963 by Time magazine, opened the Second Vatican Council with the intention of internal renewal of the global Roman Catholic church.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Early Childhood Psychological Development, Growing up Gay

A key point to understand is the complexity regarding the research data on gender and fluidity of gender. It helps to understand the following from a perspective of a continuum related to sexual orientation and gender identity. The following description of early childhood psychological development growing up gay is not meant to be the definitive statement for all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and  Transgender people. There may be substantial similarities among the larger population; however, this is an area that needs to be researched more fully. 

Unidentified Implicit Form
 of Emotional Child Abuse

The following explanation is based on my studies, course work at the University of Michigan, Madonna University, Michigan Psychoanalytic Institute (MPI), gender studies at the American Psychological Association (APA) conventions, and my own personal individual psychotherapy session observations and the combined works of Richard Isay, M.D., Jack Drescher, M.D., Sidney Phillips, M.D., Harry Stack Sullivan, M.D., with Henry Krystal, M.D.
Richard Isay, Psychoanalyst, Professor of Psychiatry, Cornell University Medical School, found in his clinical studies that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age, who grow up to be gay, know that they are different. It is only years later, in retrospect, can they identify what “different” meant and understand that it had to do with their early childhood uninhibited expression of love being expressed through their sexual orientation and core gender identity. Such anti-gay norms influence the social environment of a child, fostering developmental disruptions in the expression of their sexual orientation and the formation of secure human attachments. This has resonating effects throughout their lifetime. It severely harms, in early childhood, the core part of a human being that hopes and believes that his/her needs for love are valid and permissible, which pushes the child into the direction of a depressive state of hopelessness for life. (Jack Drescher, M.D. and Henry Krystal, M.D.) I have labeled this as abuse, an unidentified implicit form of emotional child abuse.

This unidentified implicit form of emotional child abuse does not end with early childhood years but continues on into the adult years of a person life. However, the harm is exacerbated by not only anti-gay societal norms but also by religious anti-gay norms, which are not based on any scientific evidence or biblical scholarly interpretations related to homosexuality. These religious anti-gay norms have for decades led people to believe that homosexuality can be changed to heterosexual and that being a homosexual was a matter of personal choice, classifying homosexuality as some kind of “intrinsic disorder.” This term “intrinsic disorder” is not defined. It does not agree with any medical or mental health professional associations formal statements on homosexuality, such as,

American Psychiatric Association
American Psychiatric Association, AGLP
Attempts To Change Sexual Orientation
APSAA, American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological AssociationAmerican Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Academy of Pediatrics
AFFIRM: Psychologists Affirming their
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Family
Bibliography for Facts About Sexual Orientation
Facts About Homosexuality and Mental Health
Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)
Gender Identity Research and Education Society
Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction
National Association of School Psychologists
National Association of Social Workers
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States

Creative Commons

Father Geoff Farrow's Blog

My reason for beginning this blog is directly related to  Father Geoff Farrow, who courageously stood up for the human dignity of all people.  Fr. Farrow, on October 5, 2008, spoke out in defense of gay marriage and against Proposition 8, at St. Paul Newman Center, Fresno, California. Fr. Farrow has his own blog, which he started to further discussion on LGBT issues, which are so often met with silence in the Catholic Church. Fr. Farrow’s blog address is

I want to thank Steve V for his response to my thoughts about what might likely be the possible motivation behind the spending of $28 million in support of Prop 8. He has directed my attention to an even greater level of complexity related to this situation, groups. Steve comment was to me “It's too easy and maybe wishful thinking that it's coming mainly from individuals who question their own sexuality.” 

I realize that there are a number of factors that are involved in what motivates people to be prejudice against LGBT people. Dr. Gregory M. Herek is a Professor of Psychology at the University of California at Davis (UCD). Dr. Herek’s website, he explains the complexity of the different factors that come into play regarding the motivations for sexual prejudice

I understand the differences that Dr. Herek defines, but the DEFENSIVE FUNCTION that he describes is the one that I have experienced as being the predominate one, which is only based on the social environments that I have been closely associated. I realize that this  is a bias and unproven theory. However, my situation is quite unusual and limited to a specific small population of people. The Kinsey’s scale of the break down regarding sexual orientation is that 10% of the population is homosexual and 10% is heterosexual, which leaves 80% of the population a COMBINATION  between the two. I may have erroneously made the judgment heuristically basing it on my “coming out” in March 1997 to my parishioners and the greater area of Grand Rapids, Michigan, but not limited to. However, I did so from an observational perspective that only a very small handful of people have been able to do, which now includes Fr. Farrow. As a priest, a pastor of a parish “coming out” to parishioners is highly unprecedented, even more so in 1997and so the observations from this stand point allows insights into a situation not seen before by anyone. It is not as spectacular as viewing the earth from the moon, but in many ways it is. From my viewpoint, yes, I do think that prejudice against LGBT people is coming from a majority of people’s own conflictual insecurities about their sexuality. It is has become an area for research.

Fr. Farrow stated to one of the ABC news reporters, October 5, 2008 that he came out to point out that Prop 8 is morally wrong but also to bring these issues of sexual orientation out of the silence, in the Catholic Church, which he is succeeding in doing. Fr. Farrow’s blog, as a priest, began a discussion that is so needed, at least in the Catholic Church; however, there are LGBT organizations, such as Fortunate Families that have been the forerunners, telling their stories and their panel presentations to churches "Putting a Human Face on Homosexuality.” 

In total support of Fr. Farrow and prompted by Steve V. remarks, I have decided to start my own blog, Fr. Marty Kurylowicz. Fr. Farrow came out in defense of adult LGBT people and I came out, 1997, specifically because of the psychological harm caused to children as young 4 and 5 years old, who grow up to be gay. I agree with Fr. Farrow that more open discussions and better access to credible factual knowledge is key in breaking through the silence of the Vatican on these issues in the Catholic Church. My purpose is to complement Fr. Farrow’s efforts and help to generate more valuable needed discussion. 

"Kids Are Being Hurt!!!" - New Ways Ministry Symposium - Pastor "Comes Out" March 1997 - Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA

Revised January 29, 2011
Welcome to the

My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, ordained in 1979, in Grand Rapids, Michigan (below is the list of parishes where I served). I was pastor of Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan USA and in March of 1997, I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where Dr.Richard Isay, Psychoanalyst and Professor of Psychiatry of Cornell University Medical School, gave the keynote address. I was absolutely stunned just how closely I was able to personally identify with Dr. Isay’s description of the different stages of early childhood psychological development and the harm caused to children by the influence of harsh anti-gay societal and religious norms who grow up to be gay. From clinical studies, adult gay men remember feeling "different" at young as 4 and 5 years of age. This feeling "different" was identified as the natural experience of a child's sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual.

However, unlike a heterosexual male child’s natural expressions of his sexual orientation at 4 or 5 years of age, which is meet with the understanding approval of the parents and his family that is support by social norms, quite the opposite is experienced by a homosexual male child’s natural expressions of his sexual orientation, at the same age. The rejection of a gay child at 4 and 5 years of age is greatly influenced by antigay religious teachings and societal norms of the parents and family, the social environment of this child. This rejection of a gay male child, is a form of child abuse. The degree of trauma experienced by this gay male child caused by the feeling of being rejected by another human being because of the his natural expressions wanting to love and be loved, depends on the severity of the different forms of child abuse used on him to express this rejection. Child abuse has many different forms, emotional, physical, neglect, medical, mental and sexual. Child abuse is a crime that has life-long effects that will forever change a young child's life.

The disapproval of the parents of their child's behavioral expressions in early childhood that are not gender specific with the dictates of social and religious norms is a rejection of their gay child, which is not seen as child abuse, but rather as true parental love sanctioned by their religion. This is the insidious, deceptive nature of this kind of child abuse. One of the many ramifications experienced later in life from this type of child abuse is that it would seem to teach a child how to be mean and hurtful to other human beings and that it is socially acceptable to do so. It was at the New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, as I explain in more detail below that I felt a strong moral obligation, as any decent human being would and most especially being a priest to draw public attention to this form of child abuse that is allowed to continue blindly around the world under the disguise of religious fervor. At this time I was forty-seven years old when I began to realize just how harmful and destructive anti-gay religious norms were during my whole life as well as to other gay people. The harm that is caused by the anti-gay religious norms, as early as 4 and 5 years of age, is being filled with a self-hatred that needlessly lasts throughout a person's life. The effects of this self-hatred is different for everyone, generally causing a person to isolate, avoid intimacy, numerous lost opportunities to succeed, and the list goes on and on.

Before the New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, ended, a newspaper reporter Pittsburgh Post-Gazette asked me, if she could use my name in a press article related to the Symposium. I felt quite taken back by this reporter's request realizing that this would publicly "out" me, as a gay priest. At the time, I was still in the process of "coming out" to myself and felt that I still had so much yet to learn. I had seriously been educating myself on the true facts about sexual orientation issues, as related to the bible, as well as, biological and psychological aspects. For the previous 3 to 4 years, before I attended this New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 1997, I had religiously attended many LGBT related seminars, lectures, genders studies presentations at the American Psychological Associations (APA) National Conventions, PFLAG Detroit and PFLAG Ann Arbor meetings, enrolled in two "coming out" courses at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI, attending mass at Dignity Detroit and involved in the LGBT Office at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI. Though I had previously "come out" to my family and many of friends, the thought that I would ever "come out" publicly had never enter my mind. It simply was something that I never would have ever planned on doing on my own.

However, I felt morally obligated to say "yes" and stand up for children, especially, as a priest. I knew, too much to remain silent. In my mind, if I did remain silent, I honestly could not even see myself ever celebrating mass in church, again. Because, I would be in direct opposition of the very meaning of mass, which is about Christ's love for all people, most particularly for very young children. I also knew that if I did not give this news reporter the permission to use my name, I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I did nothing, "absolutely nothing" to speak out in some way to stop this kind of psychological harm caused to millions of innocent children for generations to come. I came out to my parishioners, at Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan, shortly after I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in March 1997, as reported in the news media, particlually in The Grand Rapids Press. (Press articles from “The Grand Rapids Press” Grand Rapids, Michigan, March 29, 1997, June 28, 1997, October 8, 2005 and May 27, 2006.) After I came out, I was bombarded by many inquires why I felt such an urgency to "come out" publicly to my parishioners. My answer was
If you see a 2 year old child playing on the train tracks of an oncoming speeding train you don't think about anything else but to grab the kid to safety! 

I could not see any child having to go through all the needless pain and suffering that I went through. I came out to my parishioners in defense of very young children who grow up to be gay. For anyone to remain silent on this issue is to collude with the massive harm and violence caused to very young children.
Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well-considered, and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. Erik Erikson

Being a priest and a clinical psychologist, I am both well aware of Jesus's love and stern warning to protect children and not to harm a child's spirit or the psychological well being of a child by subjecting a child to the unsubstantiated antigay religious teachings like those promulgated by Benedict XVI and the hierarchy of the Vatican. This type of mutilation of a child's spirit in the name of religion that teaches a child go against his or her God given nature, sexual orientation, is a most grievous sin and in the secular world it is called a "crime against humanity."
And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:5-6
It is important to remember that it has been noted that homosexuals who are not raised social environments influenced by harsh anti-gay societal norms, particularly anti-gay religious norms, do not display any unusual symptoms that would separate them out from the general population. They tend to live lives that are full, productive and well-adjusted, combined with a strong network of close and enduring relationships.

Parishes Where I Have Served

Diocese of Grand Rapids
Archdiocese of Detroit

I served in a number of parishes in the Diocese of Grand Rapids, Michigan. I served at my home parish, the Basilica of St. Adalbert’s Church, Grand Rapids, Michigan during my years studying in the seminary, which began in 1969. After, completing all my seminary training, but before I was ordained a deacon, I was assigned to St. Michael’s Parish, in Remus, Michigan. After, I was ordained a deacon; I was assigned to St. Thomas the Apostle, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. My deaconate ended after being transfered to the two parishes in Ludington, Michigan St. Simon and St. Stanislaus. My first parish after being ordained, as a priest I was assigned to St. Mary Magdalene, Kentwood, Michigan. My next, assignment was at St. Patrick’s Church, Portland, Michigan. I was later assigned for a short time, as temporally administrator at St. Mary Queen of Apostles, Sand Lake, Michigan. Then I was assigned as pastor to Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan; it was in this parish that I came out in March 1997.

After I came out, in March 1997, I helped out in the Archdiocese of Detroit on weekends for mass celebrations at St. Theodore Parish, Westland, Michigan, St. Agatha Parish, Redford, Michigan, St. John Neuman Parish, Canton, Michigan, St. Thomas a Becket Church, Canton, Michigan, St. Priscilla Church, Livonia, Michigan, at Bishop Thomas Gumbleton’s parish St. Leo’s Church, Detroit, Michigan and of course at Dignity Detroit.

A description of the project:

Early Childhood Psychological of Development Growing Up Gay

We are a professional clinical group related to promoting a more complete and clinical documented understanding of the early childhood psychological stages of development of growing up gay (LGBTQ) for the purpose to help foster a safer and better world for everyone.

I am a Catholic priest and a clinical psychologist. Along with a professional staff, my colleagues and I explore clinical studies and research data from the major national and international professional, medical, and mental health associations and institutes on human sexuality. Our particular focus is on the early childhood psychological stages of development of children who up to be gay (LGBTQ), including the lifetime harmful psychological effects caused by social environments that have been influenced by antigay social and religious norms. For the purpose of advancing the knowledge and education of the general global population in understanding the complexity and variability of human sexuality, gender, and sexual orientation, we work to stop violence and harm caused to children.

Related links:

AUSCHWITZ -- CHRISTMAS 2008 -- A flashback far more severe than in --- BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – December 26, 2008 – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz

SEXUAL ORIENTATION is less about sex and more about LOVE, being one with another human being - ATTACHMENT THEORY
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times.

Groundbreaking Study Finds Family Acceptance of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Adolescents Protects Against Depression, Substance Abuse and Suicidal Behavior in Early Adulthood – by Caitlin Ryan, PhD, December 6, 2010 -FAMILY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT.

GAY YOUTH SUICIDE | BENEDICT XVI & BISHOPS Child Sexual Abuse Cover-ups – Negligence Protecting (1) Children & (2) LGBT Children | Family of Rutgers suicide victim lends name to bill – November 19, 2010 – CNN 

Institutionalized STRUCTURAL VIOLENCE – Vatican’s UNSUBSTANTIATED ANTIGAY TEACHINGS - severe harm lasting throughout a child’s lifetime | Benedict XVI & Hierarchy CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE COVER-UPS

“Coming out” March 1997, Fr. Marty Kurylowicz | Galileo, Benedict XVI & Hierarchy UNSUBSTANTIATED Antigay Pronouncements Harmful to Children – Kids Are Being Hurt!!!

“Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.” Erik Erikson

Kids Are Being Hurt!!!

…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6

Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.

Kids Are Being Hurt !!!