The Psychology of the Closeted Individual and Coming Out - 2007
by Jack Drescher, M.D
Many LGB individuals report developmental histories with difficulty acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others. This is because, starting in childhood, LGB individuals are often subjected to antihomosexual attitudes, not only from strangers, but also from their own families and communities (Drescher, Stein and Byne, (2005). The childhood need to hide may persist into adulthood, leading many LGB individuals to conceal important aspects of themselves…Closeted individuals cannot acknowledge homoerotic feelings, attractions and fantasies to themselves. They cannot or will not integrate homosexuality into their public personae and these feelings must be dissociated out of conscious awareness…
Some gay men, before coming out, were either gay-baiters or gay-bashers. To maintain a psychological distance from their own homoerotic feelings, they also exhibit dissociative tendencies. Attacking those perceived to be gay can serve several functions. One penile plethysmography study indicated that men with strong antihomosexual beliefs actually had significant homosexual arousal patterns (Adams, 1996). Interpersonally, strong antihomosexual feelings may represent
an effort to control perceptions of a gay-basher’s own sexual identity. If they attack gay people, others will not think of them as gay...
Read complete paper:
Homophobic Attitudes
Likely To Be Stronger Among Those Who Have Repressed Same-Sex Attraction: Report – 4/09/12
A new study has confirmed what many in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community have suspected for some time: that homophobic attitudes are likely to be more pronounced among those who've experienced unacknowledged attraction towards members of the same sex. Photo
…published this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology… The findings provide new evidence to support the psychoanalytic theory that fear, anxiety, and aversion that toward gays and lesbians can grow out of a seemingly heterosexual individual's own repressed same-sex desires, co-author Richard Ryan, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester who helped direct the research, told Science Daily.
"In many cases these are people who are at war with themselves and they are turning this internal conflict outward," Ryan is quoted as saying. "We laugh at or make fun of such blatant hypocrisy, but in a real way, these people may often themselves be victims of repression and experience exaggerated feelings of threat. Homophobia is not a laughing matter."
Read more:
ScienceDaily (Apr. 6, 2012) — Homophobia is more pronounced in individuals with an unacknowledged attraction to the same sex and who grew up with authoritarian parents who forbade such desires, a series of psychology studies demonstrates.
The study is the first to document the role that both parenting and sexual orientation play in the formation of intense and visceral fear of homosexuals, including self-reported homophobic attitudes, discriminatory bias, implicit hostility towards gays, and endorsement of anti-gay policies…
Read more:
Is Homophobia Associated With Homosexual Arousal?
By Henry E. Adams, Lester W. Wright, Jr., and Bethany A. Lohr, University of Georgia - 1996
…Hostility and discrimination against homosexual individuals are well-established facts (Berrill, 1990). On occasion, these negative attitudes lead to hostile verbal and physical acts against gay individuals with little apparent motivation except a strong dislike (Herek, 1989). In fact, more than 90% of gay men and lesbians report being targets of verbal abuse or threats, and more than one-third report being survivors of violence related to their homosexuality (Fassinger, 1991). Although negative attitudes and behaviors toward gay individuals have been assumed to be associated with rigid moralistic beliefs, sexual ignorance, and fear of homosexuality, the etiology of these attitudes and behaviors remains a puzzle (Marmor, 1980). Weinberg (1972) labeled these attitudes and behaviors homophobia, which he defined as the dread of being in close quarters with homosexual men and women as well as irrational fear, hatred, and intolerance by heterosexual individuals of homosexual men and women… Photo
Read more:
Journal of Abnormal Psychology, American Psychological Association, Inc.
1996, Vol. 105, No. 3,440—445
by Karen Franklin, forensic psychologist
Bias-related violence against homosexuals is believed to be widespread in the United States, with perpetrators typically described by victims as young men in groups who assault targets of convenience. Victim accounts suggest that assailants possess tremendous rage and hatred; indeed, documentation of horrific levels of brutality has led gay activists to characterize the violence as political terrorism aimed at all gay men and lesbians. Other motives for antigay violence suggested in the literature include male bonding, proving heterosexuality, and purging secret homosexual desires. Due to a dearth of empirical research with assailants, motives are largely inferred from victim accounts and a handful of publicized cases. Thus, the goal of the research discussed in this chapter was to investigate assailants' self-described motivations for their assaults. ...
Romney Apologizes For Bullying In Prep School, Says He Didn't Know Victim Was Gay – 5/10/12
…It's never quite clear whether a politician's high school years are fair game for political attacks. Romney suggested during the interview that the acts he was apologizing for were merely youthful indiscretions; the Post described him pinning a closeted gay classmate to the ground and cutting his long hair, for example. But with the story suggesting latent homophobia in an adolescent Romney and with President Barack Obama having endorsed same-sex marriage on Wednesday, the piece reverberated.
Still, Romney said he was "not going to be too concerned" about the item. He insisted that he grew up in a tolerant environment and that there was nothing about his pranks that were discriminatory towards gays…
Outed for physical and verbal abuse of gay classmates during high school, U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney is trivializing the incidents as "pranks" and "dumb things," and claiming not to know the boy he assaulted was gay.
To me, his response came as no surprise. This is precisely what most gay-bashers think and say, according to my groundbreaking research on the motivations of perpetrators.
In the first empirical research into prevalence rates of and motivations for antigay harassment and violence by noncriminal young adults, I found antigay behaviors like Romney's to be alarmingly commonplace. One in 10 young adults in the politically liberal San Francisco Bay Area admitted to physical violence or threats against presumed homosexuals, and another 24 percent acknowledged name-calling. The percentages were even higher among young men. The frequency of self-acknowledged antigay behaviors among a general population sample was consistent with victim studies in which large proportions of lesbians and gay men report sexuality-related victimization…
Homosexuality and bisexuality - Encyclopedia of Children's Health
…Development of sexual identity in middle childhood and early adolescence is a natural process but is more stressful for homosexual adolescents, according to the American School Health Association (ASHA). To avoid rejection and hostility, homosexual adolescents feel obliged to hide their sexual identities. Professionals generally agree that homosexual identity development usually occurs in stages, according to a March 2003 article in ASHA Journal of School Health.
The first stage is identified as "sensitization" or early awareness, where, around age 10, a child experiences same-sex attraction and feelings of being different than other children. The second stage is "identity confusion," in which simple awareness is no longer ignored. Gay male and lesbian children usually try to hide their sexual identities because society encourages heterosexuality. This stage is usually resolved by denying or hiding homosexual feelings, repressing same-sex attraction, or taking on a homosexual identity…
Common problems
In hiding their sexual identities, homosexual and bisexual adolescents deprive themselves and each other of positive role models. However, disclosure to family members may lead to pressure to change through psychological or religious "conversion" therapies, which the ASHA regards as ineffective. The ASHA and most other professional organizations say family support when an adolescent discloses that they are gay or bisexual is crucial to the child's mental and emotional health. Children and teens who reveal that they are gay or bisexual to non-supportive families are much more likely to become runaways and resort to prostitution for financial support…
Numerous studies show that gay and bisexual youth are at a higher risk of dropping out of school, of being kicked out of their homes, and becoming prostitutes, than their heterosexual peers. They also have a higher incidence of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use. Studies have also shown that gay and bisexual adolescents are two to seven times more likely to commit or attempt suicide compared to heterosexual children and teens. Other studies have found that 45 percent of gay males and 20 percent of lesbians were victims of verbal or physical abuse in middle and high school and were two to four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon compared to heterosexual students…
Read complete paper & more:
Internalized homophobia and health issues affecting lesbians and gay men - Iain R. Williamson – 9/17/98
…In common with research into other forms of prejudice, many individuals within lesbian and gay communities may internalize significant aspects of the prejudice experienced within a heterosexist society. This process is consistent with Allport's (Allport, 1954) theory of `traits due to victimization'. He argues that stigmatized individuals engage in defensive reactions as a result of the prejudice they experience…
(1) Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - Gay Catholic Priest 1997 “Coming Out” for “Protection of Children from Antigay Social & Religious Norms” – Vatican Ordered REPARATIVE THERAPY – Photo
(2) World Health Organization 2012 Calls REPARATIVE THERAPY Serious Threat to Health &Life - Denounces as Illicit, Unethical, Violate Human Rights
(3) VATICAN CRACKDOWN 2012 on GAY MARRIAGE Supporters: (LCWR Nuns) – Seeks Permanent Removal & Silence of Gay Priest - Has No Recourse
Nunsense: Pope errs in rebuking sisters – May 2, 2012 – CBS
…
Vatican orders crackdown on U.S. nun group – 4/19/12 - CBS
…Nearly a half-century later, the church leadership's animus against nuns seems like a heavy-handed, reactionary response to the sexual scandals that have taken place, notably the priestly abuse of children and other minors. To this end, the Vatican last month issued a report rebuking what is regarded as the most influential group of Catholic nuns in the U.S. Specifically, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious was accused of spreading information that had "promoted radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith," including views on contraception, gay rights and women's ordination.
Rather than confront evil within the clergy, in other words, Benedict appears to be trying to reinforce his authority by lashing out at one group within the church he thinks he can intimidate.
As The New York Times noted, the Vatican document also accused the nun's group off "focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice, while keeping 'silent' on abortion and same-sex marriage."
"The church hierarchy never recoiled in horror from pedophilia, yet it recoils in horror from outspoken nuns," Times columnist Maureen Dowd subsequently wrote in a recent column. Added fellow NYT scribe Nicholas Kristof, "Even as bishops have disgraced the church by covering up the rape of children, the nuns have redeemed it with their humble work on behalf of the neediest."
Read more:
The Vatican’s doctrinal office on Monday denounced an American nun who taught Christian ethics at Yale Divinity School for a book that attempted to present a theological rationale for same-sex relationships, masturbation and remarriage after divorce.
The Vatican office, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, said that the book, “Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics,” by Sister Margaret A. Farley, was “not consistent with authentic Catholic theology,” and should not be used by Roman Catholics…
Read more:
US nuns consider response to Vatican censure – 8/02/12
American nuns accused of straying far from Roman Catholic doctrine will decide at a national meeting next week whether they should accept or resist a Vatican-ordered overhaul.
The Leadership Conference of Women Religious, which represents about 80 percent of the 57,000 U.S. sisters, will gather for the first time since the Vatican said the sisters have been promoting "radical feminist themes" about the priesthood, artificial contraception and homosexuality. The report, issued in April, prompted an outpouring of support for the sisters nationwide, including parish vigils, protests outside the Vatican embassy in Washington and a resolution in Congress commending the sisters for their service to the country.
The nuns will discuss their next steps in private sessions at the assembly, which starts Tuesday in St. Louis.
"One of our concerns is that questioning is seen as defiance. It's not healthy as a church," Sister Pat Farrell, president of the Leadership Conference, said in a phone interview with reporters. "Our intention, our sense of our own fidelity, is that we continue raising and responding to questions according to our own consciences and according to new information arising."
Read more:
Vatican Crackdown: Vatican II At Heart Of Dispute Between American Nuns And Catholic Church – 8/07/12
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. (RNS) Fifty years after Pope John XXIII convened the Second Vatican Council to modernize the Roman Catholic Church, the legacy of that watershed summit that revolutionized Catholic life is at the core of a dispute between the Vatican and American nuns.
In April, the Vatican accused the Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR), the umbrella group that represents the majority of American nuns, of "doctrinal confusion." As LCWR leaders meet this week (Aug. 7-11) to plot their response to the Vatican, many of the sisters say they are just following the spirit of Vatican II.
"This is not just about the Vatican versus the nuns. This really is about the future of how we interpret the message of the Second Vatican Council," Sister Maureen Fiedler told the PBS program "Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly."
Read more:
Nuns group: We are not leaving the church - 8/16/12
WASHINGTON — A leader of the group of Catholic nuns who are facing a crackdown from the Vatican said Thursday (Aug. 16) that her members have no plans or desire to leave the church, or reconstitute their group beyond Vatican control…
Read more:
Press Release
"THERAPIES" TO CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATION
LACK MEDICAL JUSTIFICATION
AND
THREATEN HEALTH
Washington, D.C., 17 May 2012 (PAHO/WHO) — Services that purport to "cure" people with non-heterosexual sexual orientation lack medical justification and represent a serious threat to the health and well-being of affected people, the Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) said in a position statement launched on 17 May, the International Day against Homophobia. The statement calls on governments, academic institutions, professional associations and the media to expose these practices and to promote respect for diversity…
Read more:
The Lies and Dangers of Reparative Therapy – HRC - May 2012
Many right-wing religious groups promote the concept that an individual can change his or her sexual orientation, either through prayer or other religious efforts, or through so-called "reparative" or "conversion" therapy. The limited research on such efforts has disproven their efficacy, and also has indicated that they can be affirmatively harmful. Beyond studies focused solely on reparative therapy, broader research clearly demonstrates the significant harm that societal prejudice and family rejection has on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people, particularly youth. Furthermore, there is significant anecdotal evidence of harm to LGBT people resulting from attempts to change their sexual orientation. Based on this body of evidence, every major medical and mental health organization in the United States has issued a statement condemning the use of reparative therapy…
Research on the Impacts of Reparative Therapy, Harms Caused by
Societal Prejudice
Organizational Positions on Reparative Therapy
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American School Counselor Association
National Association of Social Workers
Pan American Health Organization (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization
Read more:
REPARATIVE THERAPY
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - WHISTLEBLOWING to protect gay children from the Severity of Antigay Social & Religious Norms - FLEES – Hostile Working Environment Incapacitating Retaliation - NOW – Vatican Twist Flees to Refusing to Return – to remove from Clerical State - Gay Priest is Defenseless has No Civil Protection
This posting was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting it here on the Thalamus Center.
Updated Background information added below 8/09/12
Removing my Clerical State
Presently June 2012, my Bishop Hurley of the Grand Rapids Diocese is seeking to remove my clerical state and even suggested that I voluntary seek this change. I am a priest and the fact that I am is the reason I felt morality responsible to “come out” for the protection of gay children growing up by making helping to make the public aware of the documented evidence of the life time harm that is caused to children who grow up gay and who are living in antigay social environments.
The Reason - for removing my
CLERICAL STATE
Bishop Hurley states is my
REFUSAL TO RETURN to the Diocese
Not True - In 1997
I was being Forced Out by Vatican’s Hostile Treatment
In 1997, nearly 2 months after having “come out” I was completely surprised by the Vatican’s unethical and malicious directive that I be sent away (location was not given) for a period of several months to be reeducated on homosexuality and sexual orientation, which essentially is reparative therapy. It was starling for me to find that all my years of faithful dedication, achievements that contributed to my favorable status in the Diocese were totally wiped away. It was as if, I was not deserving of even plain human respect. The issuing of this dehumanizing directive from the Vatican was like a traumatic shock that instantly made it vividly clear to me that my personal safety and wellbeing were no longer of any importance in the Diocese. My life had been threatened and no one was willing to protect me, which meant it was no longer safe for me to remain in the Diocese of Grand Rapids. Photo
The Vatican’s directive was a hostile threat I felt to force or to scare me so that out of fear I would flee to leave the priesthood voluntary. I believe this was their plan or at least it seemed to be so. However, it was because I was a priest and that it was my duty as priest to be willing to die for others, especially children. I knew very well that I had done no wrong. (1) There was ample research and clinical documentation, as well as, my personal experience and extensive observations of LGBT students, adults, communities, and PFLAG parents that overwhelming supported the fact of the life time harm that is caused to children growing up gay raised in antigay social environments. (2) The Vatican’s antigay teachings are unsubstantiated because they are not supported by scripture scholars or by science. They are fraudulent because of the life threatening harm and violence they perpetuate, globally. It is a case like the Vatican condemning Galileo, which Pope John Paul II agreed and apologized for the Vatican’s wrongdoing.
There was no reason for me to leave the priesthood personally or otherwise and to do would be running out on children, who are not able to protect themselves. It would mean failing to continue standing up for the truth, which IS the core foundation of being a priest. It was and still is my life.
Read more:
The Key Reason for Leaving Diocese
PERSONAL SAFETY
Escape Vatican’s Relentless Hostile Discrimination
However, I asked of instead of being sent away to be reeducated on my homosexuality and sexual orientation, if I could study psychology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, if I paid for it. The Vatican in the same mean-spirited and hostile manner granted me an educational leave of absence that was left opened ended. In addition, this also meant I would have to give up my regular monthly priest salary that included room and board. It was clear that the Vatican by their demonstrated hostility towards me that they did not want me anymore and that they truly wanted me to leave. I left the Diocese of Grand Rapids because I was no longer safe; in fact it was out of fear for my life that I left. I was so surprised by their hostility, which never ended and it is back again, today 2012, with great even greater force...
Read more:
Below is a copy of his letter July 31, 2012 sent to the wrong mailing address.
No Civil or Whistleblower Protection for
Gay Priests or any Priest
KILLING THE SECRECY only Hope
As a Gay Catholic Priest – I have no civil protection my bishop and the Vatican knows this. “Separation of Church and State” and the Vatican Diplomatic Immunity protect them from civil intervention. The only recourse, if anyone is listening and understands the relationship and life of a Roman Catholic priest, that I have or any priest has is to go public, do not keep the secrecy. Going public is absolutely no guarantee of receiving any help or support. The only hope this has is one of knowledge helping people become more aware of the secrecy of the Vatican’s corruption, especially these days and likely for the past 30 years. There is an identifiable manner in the way I have been treated since I came out 1997 that is similar to the 30 years of ongoing cover-ups of the Vatican, which has been exposed in part from the Vatileaks and the Vatican Bank Scandals. In particular, the opposition to the Vatican (unwanted or threatening personnel including secular persons) are ousted, documents are forged, misleading information is given, attacks are made on their reputations to destroy their credibility, and publically facts are always twisted to make the Vatican appear as the victim or the ones in the right.
Below is the letter sent to dated July 31, 2012 and my letter sent to Bishop Hurley.
Click on to enlarge
Below Fr. Marty Kurylowicz's return letter:
August 2, 2012
Most Reverend Walter A. Hurley
Bishop of Grand Rapids
Dear Bishop,
I have not received any letter from your office dated June 29, 2012, because as you indicated in your letter dated July 31, 2012 it was sent to the wrong address. This seems like a deliberate attempt to make sure I did not receive this letter of yours dated June 29, 2012 and therefore you could state I did not respond to your directives.
The one and only letter that I did receive from your office was dated July 31, 2012 and it was sent to 682 Deer Street, Plymouth, Michigan, which is not my mailing address. It is surprising that I have been receiving all the diocesan mail for the past 2 years addressed to me at my correct mailing address.
It is interesting that your previous letters mailed to me in the past have been (1) notarized and (2) sent by certified mail so that you would have proof that I received your letter. If you followed this same procedure of yours and there is no reason to think that you would not, considering the extreme importance of the contents that you refer was in your letter dated June 29, 2012 then you would have proof that I did not receive it. This would be true; unless of course you did not intend that I should receive your letter dated June 29, 2012 so that you could speed up the process to alter my clerical state and falsely claim that I did not respond in the allotted time of 15 days. If this was indeed your intention your actions could rightly be called deceitful and ruthless.
It is equally puzzling as you indicated in your letter to me dated July 31, 2012 that I failed to respond to you in the 15 days set down in your letter to me dated June 29, 2012 (which I did not receive), if you believe you sent this letter of June 29, 2012 to my correct address, why then would send your second letter dated July 31, 2012 to a different address that is not my mailing address? Unless, of course, again, you did not intend me to receive your second letter dated July 31, 2012. Then you would have been able to alter my clerical state without my ever knowing you had, until I would be quite surprised to be informed that my health care insurance had been discontinued. Later I would learn that I had no legal recourse because I did not respond to any of your letters, which I never received. In the Archdiocese of Detroit it has been stated among many who had legal dealings with you including attorneys that you are known to have ample precedents for being - deceitful and ruthless.
However, I am indeed deeply surprised by the contents in your letter dated July 31, 2012 and I can emphatically assure you that I have absolutely no intention whatever to give up my clerical state. It was because I took seriously my duty as a priest and stood up for the factual truth about sexual orientation by “coming out” to my parishioners in March 1997 for the safety and well being of children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age, as documented in the Grand Rapids Press at that time and because I did so the Vatican has continuously been mistreating me. My present situation for the past 15 years is entirely due to the hostile working environment imposed on me created by the threat that was made on my well-being, indeed my life that came from the bishop’s office May 1997, which were the Vatican’s directives ordering me to be sent away on a sabbatical for several months to be reeducated regarding sexual orientation, an intensive form of reparative therapy, also known as conversion therapy. It is a psychotherapy attempt to change a person’s homosexuality that is based on the debunked concept that homosexuality is a mental disorder in the 1970’s by both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association. Soon other national associations from both the medical and mental health professionals from their own independent research data followed suit. Since, then there is more than ample clinical documentation and research data that continued to assert through the 1980’s and 1990’s right up to 1997 that homosexual orientation is a natural part of human development and that any attempt to try to alter or change a person’s homosexuality was considered unethical because of the severe life threatening harm that was found could harm a person more.
The only type of mental problems that were found to be associated with homosexuals were those caused by the stress from being raised in hostile anti-gay social environments living under the constant possibility of encountering violent life threatening physical attacks, e.g. those created by the Vatican’s unsubstantiated anti-teachings, the unsubstantiated public remarks made about homosexuality by such clerics as Archbishop Tartaglia, along with Dolan, Nienstedt, Bertone, George and many many others including Benedict XVI.
The reason why I was to be subjected to the unethical practice of thos intense reparative therapy of being reeducated about the homosexual orientation that was ordered by the Vatican was because in March 1997, at the age of 47 years old I came out to my parishioners at Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan to help stop the violence against gay people, most especially to children as young as 4 and 5 years old who grow up to be gay. The fact that I was a priest I felt not only morally obligated but that it was my duty as a priest to be willing to even sacrifice my life for the safety and well-being of children. As you know though you may have forgotten is true reason and meaning for being a priest. However, in truth I always hoped that that card would never fall into my lap, but fall it did and I believed that how a person responds in this kind of situation would define that person’s whole existence. There is no escape...
Read complete letter:
Cardinal Ratzinger and Bishop Hurley – Silencing NEW WAYS MINISTRIES
Co-founders
National Catholic Reporter
October 10, 1989
The Most Reverend Adam J. Maida
Bishop of Green Bay
1910 S. Webster
P.O. Box 66
Green Bay, Wisconsin 54305
Dear Bishop Maida,
I enclose a copy of a recent article in the New York Times reporting on a gathering of homosexual religious and clergy. You will notice that Sister Jeannine Gramick participated in the program. Comments, as quoted by the New York Times, are not in and of themselves objectionable. It is objectionable, however, that Sister Jeannine continues to participate in seminars such as this one in spite of her ambiguity with regard to the Church’s teaching on the wrongness of homosexual activity…
Read more:
October 4, 1994
Report Of The Findings Of The Commission Studying
The Writings & Ministry Of
Sister Jeannine Gramick, SSND and Father Robert Nugent, SDS
In March of 1988, the Congregation for Religious and Secular Institutes formed an ad hoc Commission chaired by Archbishop Adam J. Maida, presently the Archbishop of Detroit, and at that time the Bishop of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Msgr. James Mulligan of the Diocese of Allentown, Pennsylvania and Sister Sharon Holland, IHM, who was later replaced by Dr. Janet Smith of Irving, Texas, were also appointed to serve on the Commission.
The Commission was to hear and examine the theological writings and teachings on homosexuality of Sister Jeannine Gramick, SSND, and Father Robert Nugent, SDS. Sister Gramick and Father Nugent had been involved in a ministry to homosexuals since 1971. The Congregation had been aware of concerns that the teachings, writings and ministry of Sister Gramick and Father Nugent may have created an ambiguity which has caused confusion in the minds of some people with regard to the teachings of the Church on homosexuality…
Read more:
http://www.natcath.org/NCR_Online/documents/history.htm
March 1997 - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - New Ways Ministry Symposium - Pastor "Comes Out" - Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, ordained in 1979, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was pastor of Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan USA and in March of 1997, I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where Dr. Richard Isay, Psychoanalyst and Professor of Psychiatry of Cornell University Medical School, gave the keynote address. I was absolutely stunned just how closely I was able to personally identify with Dr. Isay’s description of the different stages of early childhood psychological development and the harm caused to children by the influence of harsh anti-gay societal and religious norms who grow up to be gay. From clinical studies, adult gay men remember feeling "different" at young as 4 and 5 years of age. This feeling "different" was identified as the natural experience of a child's sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual...
October 8, 1997, Cardinal Ratzinger, judged that the statements on homosexuality made by Father Nugent and Sister Gramick, [cofounders of - New Ways Ministry] through the procedure of the Regulations for Doctrinal Examination, were in fact erroneous and dangerous.
"Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers" is a statement that was issued in 1997 by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family.
October 1, 1997, Bishops Urge Parents of Homosexuals to Accept Their Children, Themselves, Church Teaching on Human Dignity By the US Catholic Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life released Always Our Children.
October 1, 1997, Bishops: Parents, love your gay children - By David Briggs, Associated Press writer
NEW YORK -- U.S. Catholic bishops are advising parents of gay children to put love and support for their sons and daughters before church doctrine that condemns homosexual activity.
June 1998, “Always Our Children” - revised by Cardinal Ratzinger - Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers, NCCB Committee on Marriage and Family, Third Printing, Revised, June 1998
Read more:
Pope Blasts U.K. Anti-Discrimination Laws
by Associated Press,
February 2, 2010 – CBS News
In Speech, Benedict Raises Fears that Vatican Could Be Prosecuted for Stances Against Gays
Sexual Orientation is less about sex and more about Love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times.
Background Information:
1997 “Coming Out” Focus on Science & Bible
PROTECTING - CHILDREN Growing up Gay - Lifetime harm caused by
Ignorant Antigay Social & Religious Norms
1997 – FOCUSING ON CHILDREN was a dramatic focus shift from public focus of homosexuality exclusively limited to adult sexual behavior
(a) Caused an Immediate Resonating almost calming effect with people
engaging deep interest eliciting serious pertinent questions
(b) – Nullifies Unsubstantiated Traditional Immorality of Homosexuality,
e.g. Vatican Antigay teachings,
(c) Major Threat to blindly accepted, unchallenged, ignorant – antigay social
& religious norms
*****************************
(1) Research - Antigay religious norms – life threatening to children -
as young as 4 and 5 years of age
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, I came out March 1997 to my parishioners at Holy Family Parish, Sparta MI to draw public attention to help protect children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age who grow up to be gay – from the life long harmful effects and for many life threatening effects of being raised in antigay social environments made up of ignorant antigay social norms that are primarily influenced by unsubstantiated religious norms, e.g. the Vatican unsubstantiated antigay teaching, a major world religion. The Vatican antigay teachings are unsubstantiated, because they are not based on facts from either the bible or science.
(2) Scripture scholars - Bible does not condemn homosexuality
(3) Science research – homosexuality – natural human development
The bible does not condemn homosexuality anymore than the bible condemns Galileo. There are many passages in the bible that clearly state that the earth does not move, instead the sun moves. However, Galileo explained that it was the exact opposite, the sun does not move and the earth rotates round the sun. The Vatican condemned Galileo as heretic and placed Galileo under house arrest for 9 years. Nearly 400 years later, Pope John Paul II in 1992, stated that the Vatican was wrong and that Galileo was right. In 1997, from science through research and clinical studies of both the major medical and mental health associations it is overwhelmingly accepted that homosexual orientation is a natural part of human development.
(4) Facts - Science & Bible - Nullify all the Vatican antigay teachings
These facts alone nullify all the Vatican antigay teachings because like Galileo they are not based on credible facts from a variety of many different disciplines of study and research. Therefore it is imperative the Vatican immediately renounces all their antigay teachings because they are unsubstantiated and cause severe harm to very young children growing up gay around the world. The Vatican and in particular Benedict XVI will not face the truth about homosexual orientation and has relentlessly and obsessively after being elected pope - publically spoke against homosexuality - simply and arbitrarily discrediting any and all credible scientific facts regarding the truth about homosexuality. This behavior of Benedict XVI - begs the question, why? This is even more puzzling that being a great intellectual academic scholar and author of many books, he has not been able to give any details or credible documentation to explain his reasoning about homosexuality. Publically, this is a glaring discrepancy because at his intellectual level he expounds on numerous subjects, but with the frequency that he touches on more than any other that is the defining subject of his papacy, homosexuality he has the least to say about.
This was not the case with Pope John Paul II. As pope John Paul said little to nothing on the subject homosexuality because there was ample research data continuously forthcoming from science and scripture scholars suggesting a new understanding regarding homosexuality, sexual orientation, human psychological development, etc. John Paul II, as we know, believed the truth would be found with faith and science working together to come up with answers. It is noted that John Paul frequently met with the scientists at the Vatican, at least once a week to discuss issues of the day. The committee at the Vatican on the topic of homosexuality was made up of theologians and scientists, as was the case for many committees at the Vatican, at the insistence of John Paul. This was not the case when Benedict XVI became pope, almost immediately all the scientists were dismissed from all the committees in the Vatican and only theologians remained. Sources within the Vatican at the time were shocked and noticeably worried about the future credibility their work because the balance for the search for truth was thrown off giving a very one-sided view on issues, which is not objective truth - truth was lost. This is clearly seen in Benedict XVI’s and the hierarchy’s public statements on homosexuality. This appears to be the same mistake that the Vatican made when the pope then condemned Galileo. And as we know John Paul II apologized to Galileo stating the he was right and that the Vatican and the pope were wrong.
(5) Children 4 and 5 years of age – know “different” - Well Before
“Age of Reason”
Nullify Immorality of Homosexuality
When I came out in March 1997 the focus was on the fact that very young children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age knew in some fundamental way that they were “different” not gay, only later in life would they identify this being different as being gay. This point alone was highly significant because it threw the Vatican focus of homosexuality off of being entirely focused on adult homosexuals and moved it onto children in early childhood psychological developmental years. This switch in the focus immediately, almost in lightening speed, resolves major key issues regarding the morality of homosexuality, because this places our understanding of homosexuality, sexual orientation out of the adult world and places almost at the beginning of life - into the very early years of human development - well before the “age of reason” therefore; (1) homosexuality cannot be considered a conscious and willful choice to commit a terrible intrinsically disordered and evil act, (2) if not a choice, no sin is involved, (3) there is no adult sexual acts of any kind involved at this very young age in a child’s life, (4) sexual orientation at this stage is about the natural development of human attachment essential for survival and growth of a human being, and (5) human attachments are about “loving another and being loved by another” there is nothing intrinsically disordered or evil about love. These facts alone nullify, renounce all the Vatican antigay teachings as unsubstantiated and instead they are labeled as being severely harmful to the lives of children in their early childhood years, something on the order of the ancient practice of “foot binding.” These are research facts over years of study that were available in 1997 and have continued to develop through the years.
This is why my “coming out” 1997 was not a big issue about me personally. Because my reason and focus for “coming out” was on the vital importance of explaining the research data about sexual orientation existing in early childhood, in order to stop the severe harm caused to the children growing up gay by the ignorance of antigay statements that create hostile and violent antigay social environments that threaten a child’s very existence. After I came out the focus was off me and almost immediately forgotten, as I remembered back then to Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI, when I began to explain to my parishioners these research facts. It did not take much, if any, convincing people because almost immediately they began to identify these facts in what seemed to be a flooding of specific past episodes and memories from their own personal individual lives, about kids they knew and grew up with, about themselves, their children, etc., etc. It was like it brought into focus much confusion in their past lives that seemed at first unsettling, but left them with a better sense of calm and a new more secure understanding about themselves that made sense that answered many old forever nagging unanswered questions – and left them with much less anger. And the fact that I came out was almost forgotten, their questions were not about me but about many various aspects of sexual orientation and early childhood psychological development.
I held for the next 7 to 8 following weeks, 3 classes a week on the topic of sexual orientation, each class running for 2 hours. The classes were open to all parishioners though registering before attendance was required (simply by calling the parish office) in order to limit the classes to only 20 people in each class for the sake of confidentially and we run as many classes along as people wanted to attend. Every class was filled and the classes lasted nearly 8 weeks.
After I came out the parish did not fall apart. There was no great exodus. The weekly and building fund collections did not drop. Maybe we seemed closer more united on a deeper level. I was schedule to be transferred before I came out in March 1997, my 12-year term, as pastor, at Holy Family Parish ended at the end of June of 1997. I must say it was much harder than I realized leaving that parish, so much so that even the thought of going back for a visit seemed unbearable - the joy of seeing everyone again would be great – but leaving them all again seemed unbearable. I think that something wonderful happened there maybe in a very small but significant way we helped to change the world for the better, especially for children. That’s a good thing!
The Major Problem “Coming Out” 1997 not Parishioners –
Was The Vatican
The major problem I faced in 1997 was not from the parishioners – it was from of all places the Vatican. It was 4 years prior to my “coming out” I had been enrolled at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI taking one class a semester, including the spring/summer semester, in psychology. I did this all while I was still being a pastor at Holy Family Parish in Sparta, MI commuting twice a week to Ann Arbor. I had to give-up all my free time and watching TV to study at the U of M. And believe me TV cannot compare to the excitement of learning, at the U of M. It was at the University of Michigan that I studied the research data about sexual orientation, psychological human development, etc., as well as, at attending the yearly American Psychological Association conventions and attending regular meetings at PFLAG, Affirmations, Ferndale, MI and workshops/lectures sponsored by the U of M LGBT Office. My point is that I truly professionally studied the issues of sexual orientation thoroughly and was very well versed on much of the latest research data. Now after “coming out” to my parishioners and teaching 8 weeks of classes on sexual orientation - it was reported as being quite successful handling and educating people on the issue of sexual orientation.
I met with my bishop (which was not the present bishop Hurley) in May 1997 to hear the directives that were coming from the Vatican. I was, at first, quite shock, later I was even to the point of being somewhat frightened after hearing that I was to be sent away for several months (the location not having been disclosed) to be reeducated about sexual orientation and homosexuality. This was equivalent to reparative therapy, which is based on the concept that was debunked in the 1970’s by both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association that homosexuality was a mental disorder. Reparative therapy’s main objective is to attempt through intensive psychotherapy to change a person’s homosexuality. It was and is considered unethical because it has never been proven effective, instead it posed more serious, even dangerous threats to the psychological well-being of the person, even placing for some at even greater risk of attempting suicide. It has been noted that the mental disorders associated with homosexuals are primary those due to the stress of not being accepted, of being ridiculed and being under constant vigilance of being attacked verbally or physically and at times violently. It has been amply and duly noted that homosexuals who grow up in safe accepting social environments, experience no more mental disorders than their heterosexual counterparts.
Reeducated on Homosexuality - Reparative therapy
Reparative therapy by 1997 still had no evidence scientifically that proved it worked, in fact it was found to be harmful and it was being considered unethical and unsafe. The fact that the Vatican was unaware or dismissive of ample research data regarding homosexuality was deplorable, because the Catholic Faith is all about truth. Since, 1973, the term “homosexuality” was removed from the list mental and emotional disorders by American Psychiatric Association stating that sexual orientation is not a disorder; therefore, it does not need to be cured. The American Psychological Association stated. In 1990 that scientific evidence shows that reparative therapy does not work and that it can do more harm than good. “In 1991, Gerald Davison, a former president of the Association for the Advancement of Behavior Therapy, argued that conversion therapy (is the same as reparative therapy) is ethically improper and that its existence only confirms professional and societal biases against homosexuality.” In 1993, the American Academy of Pediatrics stated, "The psychosocial problems of gay and lesbian adolescents are primarily the result of societal stigma, hostility, hatred and isolation." In 1996, the National Association of Social Workers adopted a policy statement on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual issues. “…Sexual orientation conversion therapies assume that homosexual orientation is both pathological and freely chosen. No data demonstrate that reparative or conversion therapies are effective, and in fact they may be harmful.”
Therefore, Vatican’s directive was such a drastic contrast drop from the height of the intellectual level I was operating out of that (explained above) this news from the Vatican was startling – it was an unimaginable gigantic leap back in time passing even beyond the dark ages intellectually. While in my bishop’s office I did not say much at the time, I only wished that some of my colleagues from the APA, the U of M and news media could have heard this directive coming from the Vatican. I honestly could not even imagine what a sabbatical for several months on reeducating someone on homosexuality and sexual orientation would be like. It seemed like unnecessarily cruel and unusual treatment of all places by the Vatican.
My two earned sabbaticals including the funding were all canceled, which I was hoping to use up before accepting a new parish assignment. My possible future assignments in the Diocese of Grand Rapids that were offered to me before I came out were all eliminated. In a matter of one meeting, months after I came out and the news media hype had died down, my whole status in the Grand Rapids Diocese was gone. I no longer felt safe in the Grand Rapids Diocese, only the anxious pressure about what would happen next. At 47 years old, for me it seemed to be the beginning of the end.
Needlessly Already Spending a LIFETIME and Enormous Expense in Ineffective Reparative Therapy
Vatican directives were to send me back
No Civil Laws to Protect Gay Priests – From - Vatican Hostile & Inhuman Treatment
The thought of my being sent away to be reeducated about homosexuality and sexual orientation was disturbing to me on two counts: (1) it was then as it is now considered by the vast majority of professionals from both the medical and mental health fields as ineffective and dangerous to the individual well-being and (2) it seemed a most unnecessary and extremely cruel even inhumane ordeal for a place like the Vatican to be ordering a priest or anyone to submit to. It was for me even more unsetting, because I had already spent well over some 20 years trying through psychotherapy to reeducate myself on my being a homosexual – in attempts to be heterosexual. I learned only too well, at the age of 47, from the grueling experience of those past some 20 years in my deep earnest commitment faithfully believing what I had been told that reeducation/reparative therapy would work but it most assuredly does not. It had only compounded my depression in addition knowing I wasted those some 20 years for absolutely nothing. Even more unsetting was the fact when I learned that this was not my own personal bias, but that major medical and mental health associations agreed.
It was after further study and then learning the research facts that sexual orientation begins in early childhood, which struck me like bolt of lightening that March 1997 at the New Ways Ministry National Symposium listening to Dr. Richard Isay’s (just recently deceased) opening address explaining that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age know that they are different and that it is only as adults do they realize that being different was in fact being gay – that it all became the relentless motivating force that led to the moral obligation, as a Catholic priest to “come out” for the protection and well-being all children growing up gay. In good conscience I could not remain silent – I knew too much from my own personal experience to allow children suffer what I went through.
Character Assassination – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Being Punished and Humiliated For Being Faithfully Following
Vatican’s Unsubstantiated Antigay teachings
In a breach of confidentially the present bishop of Grand Rapids Walter Hurley (who had been working closely with then Cardinal Ratzinger, now Benedict XVI discriminating against gays as far back as 1987) disclosed to a news reporter from the Grand Rapids Press, May 2006, in an attempt that seemed to further discredit my reputation, the huge sum of money spent on my psychotherapy. However, this breach of confidentiality of Bishop Hurley backfired on him, because this huge sum would have been completely non-existence, as the documentation will prove, if I never had been raised in a Catholic antigay social environment that stressed the Vatican antigay teachings that are unsubstantiated. Also, this huge sum of money would have been greatly reduced, to far less than even 10% if I sought psychotherapy treatment outside of Catholic mental health agencies. The Vatican’s unsubstantiated antigay teachings have been proven to continuously perpetuate psychological harm. It took me an enormously long time to find this out – nearly enduring 4 decades of psychological harm because I blindly obeyed and believed them to be true and I can say emphatically that they are not true, but instead they are extremely harmful and even life threatening. I can say this after working endlessly acquiring a well-informed conscience based years of prayer, the needless years spent in psychotherapy and when I decided to no longer to follow blindly but on a postgraduate level of university academic studies to search for the truth, I found that the Vatican’s antigay teachings are unsubstantiated – instead they are life threatening.
Bishop Hurley Disclosure of Gay Priest Reparative Therapy
Psychological Expenses
CHARACTER ASSASSINATION – Vatican’ MO
Vatican Published Psychological Documentation of Ex-Bank President
It is interesting to note that Hurley’s confidentially disclosure of my psychological expenses appears to be the regular modus operandi of the Vatican. Because it is quite similar to the recent Vatican Bank scandal – where the Vatican published the psychological documentation of their ex bank president, which it is believed was meant to further discredit him because of threatening inside information he is believed to have would expose even more serious corruption in the Vatican.
Vatican’s - Vindictive Hostile Retaliation
In my letter above I explained I did not go away to be reeducated about my homosexuality and sexual orientation. I asked permission to study psychology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI – if I paid for it on my own, however, to do so I was told that I had to give up my regular priestly salary and find my own living arrangements including paying for it myself. But it must be explained that a priest salary is considerably lower because room and board is included. This presented an additional hardship for me. However, I thought given such a life threatening order by the Vatican - to be sent away to be reeducated on homosexuality and sexual orientation was so extreme – Needless to say, I was worried if I stayed – what other inhumane atrocities would I be subjected to. I guess you could say I was fleeing for my life. To get me to leave the priesthood was likely what the Vatican was attempting to force me to do. Again, the whole reason why I came out was because “I was a priest.” It is a priest’s duty to be willing to lay down his life for others, at least that is the theology of priesthood. True I had always hope the living up to that duty would not directly fall into my lap – but it did. I gave up everything I had to be a faithful priest – I realize that this does not mean much to many people – they can barely understand the concept, except for parents. And now Benedict XVI and Bishop Hurley simply want me to give up my clerical state, so much so that Hurley sent these important letters to me for my response but he sent them to the wrong addresses that are not my mailing addresses, even though I receive all other diocesan mail at my correct address. If wasn’t the recent Vatileaks and Vatican Bank scandals and Benedict XVI’s 30 years of child sexual cover-ups – people would be willing to give Hurley the benefit of the doubt – but in indeed we now know that this kind of deception is this rule of the Vatican and not the exception. I have absolutely no recourse – the only recourse I have if I still have it - is to make this all public and kill the secrecy of the Vatican – in hopes that people’s awareness will in some way reform the Vatican – make the protection of children the highest priority.
Read more:
This posting was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting it here on the Thalamus Center.
We cannot selfishly tramper with human life without causing great harm and destruction that will eventually come back to claim our lives and all those who supported us, including all those who through their silence, or ignorance or apathy colluded with us.
Vatican’s Diplomatic Immunity
No one in the Vatican can go around hurting people – especially children globally and expect to get away with it. The Vatican for most people is considered a place of goodness and love, of truth and honesty or at least a place where it should exist. One by one, over the last 30 some years, globally people have been disillusioned to find that the Vatican quite the opposite of God’s goodness and love. It has greatly eroded the high esteem and regard that people once had for the Vatican. What people have discovered that those in the Vatican are able to get away with their continuous dishonestly and violence, because of their diplomatic immunity. It is the over use of their diplomatic immunity that the scandal of the decades of the child sexual abuse cover-ups are kept alive and festering, because the truth remain unresolved…
Read more:
GAY MARRIAGE – UNIDENTIFIED - Internalized Homophobia - Benedict XVI, Hierarchy & Blind Followers - GAY-BASHERS UK & US | UK Blair & Cameron Legalization of Gay Marriage | Kids Are Being Hurt!!! | PART 8 - March 2012
This posting is the eighth part of a larger one and was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting here on the Thalamus Center.
Update Reference links 3/26/12
Introduction
Read more:
Passing NY Gay Marriage Bill 2011
WELL-INFORMED CONSCIENCE
Protect Religious Freedom – but not Tyranny in Religion - June 20, 2011
The way to begin for us all, not only the NY State Senators, to protect Religious Freedom and not Tyranny in Religion is by obtaining a well-informed conscience. We start by individually approaching and studying in (great detail because it involves the lives of children) from the best and the brightest (1) scripture scholars regarding the references related to homosexuality and (2) scientists in the field of study of human sexuality, in particular, but [not] limited to, the onset of sexual orientation. The prerequisite to the formation of a well-informed conscience is making a thorough study of all sides of the issue from all available authoritative data and research, including opposing views. Then in this way we are better equipped to decide who and what needs government protection in regards to the gay marriage bill. This exhaustive procedure follows to the letter the Gospel quotation about the “plank” and the” speck.”
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”. Luke 6:42
The “plank” for us is ignorance. If we satisfactorily resolve this ignorance, then together we will be able to see more clearly, whether or not, as NY State Senators (government officials) and as citizens we are colluding with the Catholic Hierarchy and are harming children, as was found to be the case in the Ireland Murphy Report.
…This piece of legislation the gay marriage bill is not like any other in that it involves the well-being of children, at its very root…
How I resolved this situation was through hours upon hours of continuous prayer. Afterwards, I came to the realization that my life had already been altered – changed forever. Because there was no way I could pretend I did not know what I knew, how severely children are harmed for life by the unsubstantiated antigay teachings and antigay social norms. I decided that I could not live with the regret knowing that I had a chance to make a profound difference for the better for others, most especially children and that I did nothing. My life would be nothing. I took the bungee jump and I came out to my parishioners. It definitely was not easy, but one thing that happened to me is - I gained a real sense of peace and well-being that has remained constant and unshaken. The scripture passages that kept repeating over and over in my head were:
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25
“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” Luke 9:25
“Anyone who loves their FATHER or mother more than me is not worthy of me;… Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:36-38
“…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6
Even after Benedict XVI and his accomplices’ mistreatment of me and the serious harm they have caused me that sense of peace has never left me. It is remains rock solid. I believe that is the benefit of spending the time and energy of acquiring a well-informed conscience regarding sexual orientation.
Written by Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic Truth ≠ Benedict XVI & hierarchy’s SPIN - Unsubstantiated Antigay Teachings & Disregard for Children – Silent Catholics COLLUDING w/B16 – Continually Hurting Kids!!! | One – Letter & Many – Copies | Anne Rice | PART 6
COMING OUT and NEW BEGINNINGS
May 21, 2009 – updated 3/12/12
The very first person I was able to “come out” to was a Trappist Abbot, who I visited yearly, some 3000 miles away from where I lived. I came out to him just before I was to enter the monastery. The Abbot was shocked that I thought being "gay" was something bad, “Who said you were Bad!” He said, "Why it is a 'gift' from God!!!" Then I was in shock. It was not the response I had expected. I was completely confused. Disappointed at first, however, "life" began there for me but ever so faintly but it was definite I was "different." The Abbot told me ever so kindly and reassuringly that I must, first, go back out into the world and come to appreciate all the blessings that come with being "gay."
At that time, I could not even imagine being "gay" in any positive light. But I trusted the Abbot's wisdom, his sincerity, his genuine empathy for another human being and his care for me. It was not until several years later and my fifth therapist that I began to normalize to the truth about myself that I was indeed “gay.” It was at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI that I really noticed my life beginning. There were several more years of acclimating that I had to go through before I realized that I was at peace with myself and the anger I wore like a coat had greatly dissipated. All that energy trapped in suppressing the fact I was “gay” for years and years was turned loose. I went back to school now in by mid 40's. I was simultaneously enrolled taking classes at both Aquinas College, Grand Rapids, MI and the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI at the same time, all while being a full time pastor in Grand Rapids, MI (Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI) and teaching High School and 3rd grade religion classes. Without all that anger eating me up inside I came "alive" for the first time in my life! I felt like that song "But Alive" from the Broadway musical “Applause Applause.”
…
…We are more alike than we are different from one another. The way to check this out is by checking out who is angry about Marriage Equality. If they are absolutely 100% heterosexual what and how would they know anything about homosexuality? Where are they getting their information? There are many questions to be answered if their anger will allow them to.
My only concern is to stop the abuse to innocent children who are defenseless and powerless to protect themselves. I would hope this was first and foremost everyone's concern. First, intelligently and thoroughly make sure, as God wants us to, if kids are safe, before speaking harmful words. Photo
The Bible and Being
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
Realizing how long it took me to "come out" in my 40's I could not even think of putting even one child through what I went through. All that wasted time, years, opportunities for life and love lost! I came out publicly, in 1997, to draw attention to this kind of harm caused to children who grow up to be gay raised in social environments influenced by antigay social and religious norms. They are our tomorrows!!! They are loved and watched by God. NO ONE EVER SHOULD HARM A CHILD!
Read more
Catholics Coming Out - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz & Ricky Martin - March 29, 1997, 2010 - Leading Support Gay Marriage - NY Gov Cuomo & Vatican Attacks – March 29, 2011
By Alan Duke
CNN.com, March 29, 2010
LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Pop singer Ricky Martin declared publicly this week what he avoided discussing for years: He is gay.
"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Martin wrote on his official Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am."
…Now, Martin wrote, "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed."
The 39-year-old Puerto Rican native started off with the Latin boy band Menudo before launching his solo career in 1991.
His song "Livin' La Vida Loca" rose to the top of the music charts in 1999 and propelled Martin to stardom.
Martin said he decided years ago to not share "my entire truth" with the world because people he loved warned him that "everything you've built will collapse."
"Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage," he wrote. "Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions." …
Read complete article – CNN.com
Know thyself – Plato
This above all:
to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and
pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,'
when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then
you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye. - Luke 6:40-42
‘
All tyranny needs
to
gain a foothold
is
for people
of
good conscience
to
remain silent.
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
Read more in PART 6
GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic Truth ≠ Benedict XVI & hierarchy’s SPIN - Unsubstantiated Antigay Teachings & Disregard for Children – Silent Catholics COLLUDING w/B16 – Continually Hurting Kids!!! | One – Letter & Many – Copies | Anne Rice | PART 6
Injustice anywhere is a
threat to
Justice everywhere
Martin Luther King
The Nobel Peace Prize 1964
Martin Luther King Jr.
What you cannot do is accept injustice.
From Hitler – or anyone.
You must make the injustice visible
– be prepared to die like a
soldier to do so.
Mahatma Gandhi
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
“Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”
…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6
Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
3 PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTS ABOUT GROWING UP GAY
A partial list:
1. Sexual orientation is set either just before birth or very soon afterwards
References:
Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality - American Psychological Association
The Science of Sexual Orientation - Researchers Focus on Twins (Video)
Attempts to Change Sexual Orientation
Sexual Conversion Therapies - by Jack Drescher, M.D.
Sexual Conversion Therapy - Ethical, Clinical and Research Perspectives (2002) -
edited by Ariel Shidlo, PhD, Michael Schroeder, PsyD, and Jack Drescher, MD
Sexual Orientation & ‘Reparative Therapy’
by Jack Drescher, MD – video
Bibliography for Facts about Sexual Orientation
Major - Medical and Mental Heath Associations
Policies & Position Statements - Regarding Sexual Orientation
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychiatric Association, AGLP
APSAA, American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Academy of Pediatrics
Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)
Gender Identity Research and Education Society - UK
National Association of School Psychologists
National Association of Social Workers
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States
2. Early psychological development – in a social environment that is anti-gay – causes significant harm to the child’s ability to be in relationships, with others, a job, etc.
References:
Sexual orientation is less about sex and more about love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - - LOVE & RELIGION
Attachment Theory
Mary Ainsworth: Attachment and the Growth of Love – video
ATTACHMENT THEORY - our first relationship with our carers acts as a LIFELONG TEMPLATE, moulding and shaping our capacity to enter into, and maintain, successful subsequent relationships with family, friends and partners...
Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
Jack Drescher, M.D. in his book Psychoanalytic Therapy & The Gay Man
describes the complexities related to growing up gay; from his research of developmental narratives of gay adults retrospectively recalling their feelings being gay began in early childhood. These gay feelings had remained constant, and were resistant to being altered. Dr. Drescher explains the contrast of how social norms impact the psychology of the early childhood developmental years of a heterosexual boy and a homosexual boy.
Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development – by Richard A. Isay M.D.
Argues that homosexuality is biologically innate, suggests a natural developmental path for homosexuals, and discusses the problems faced in long-term gay relationships
The overstimulation of everyday life: I. New aspects of male homosexuality
Sidney H. Phillips
Western New England Institute for Psychoanalysis, USA
J Am Psychoanal Assoc 49:1235-67. 2001
Western heterosexual culture surrounds the homosexually inclined boy in a climate of erotic overstimulation that powerfully affects his development and adult sexual adaptation. This assertion is illustrated through a case presentation of a homosexual man who shared a bed with his brother from childhood into adolescence. Analysis of the patient's transference enactment—repeatedly falling asleep on the couch—gradually revealed the psychic impact of this everyday overstimulation: the creation of a tantalized inner world of longing. The regular occurrence and developmental understanding of adolescent homosexual boys' unrequited love affairs with adolescent heterosexual boys are described and explored. Finally, the overstimulation of everyday life is proposed as a new model for understanding certain behavioral aspects of male homosexuality, such as the avoidance of rough-and-tumble play in childhood and homosexual cruising.
Homosexuality: coming out of the confusion
Sidney H Phillips
Int J Psychoanal 84:1431-50. 2003
In this paper, Dr. Phillips describes the complications of how the historical context of social norms can significantly influence the classification of the components of homosexuality by clinicians causing them to be blind to their own biases. Mindful of our susceptibility to this kind of phenomenon, Dr. Phillips calls to task these biases that pathologize homosexuality simply because it is not consistent with heterosexuality and therefore to be classified as a mental disorder. He offers an alternative description of homosexuality from his clinical research that is consistent with other researchers of early childhood psychological development of children who grow up to be gay.
The Psychology of the Closeted Individual and Coming Out – Jack Drescher, MD
Many LGB individuals report developmental histories with difficulty acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others. This is because, starting in childhood, LGB individuals are often subjected to antihomosexual attitudes, not only from strangers, but also from their own families and communities (Drescher, Stein and Byne, 2005). The childhood need to hide may persist into adulthood, leading many LGB individuals to conceal important aspects of themselves…Read more
Gay Conversion | Religious Conversion - Transforms the Damned into the Saved | COVERING - Kenji Yoshino – 2002 - The Yale Law Journal
Resource Links -- Conversion Therapy
Policy Statements of Professional Organizations
Rockway Institute - Alliant International University
3. Gay teen suicide – Family Acceptance Project - shows relationship between a lack of family acceptance of a gay child and the rate of substance abuse, suicide and others problems
References:
Groundbreaking Study Finds Family Acceptance of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Adolescents Protects Against Depression, Substance Abuse and Suicidal Behavior in Early Adulthood – by Caitlin Ryan, PhD, December 6, 2010 - FAMILY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT.
Dr. Caitlin Ryan: Reducing Risk and Promoting Well-Being for LGBT Youth: The Critical Role of Family Support – 2009 – podcast
Dr. Caitlin Ryan: Commitment, Intentionality, and Hard Work: What It Takes To Do Culturally Competent, Ground-Breaking Research 2010 – podcast
Family Acceptance Project™ website:
Dr. Caitlin Ryan – Mental Health Matters: How does the “Family Acceptance Project” work? – 2011
Family Acceptance Project™ - Helping diverse families understand how to support their LGBT children – videos
Family Acceptance of LGBT Youth Protects Against Suicide, Depression & Substance Abuse and Predicts Better Health & Self-Esteem
School Victimization of Gender-Nonconforming LGBT Youth Linked with Depression and Quality Of Life In Adulthood
Best Practice Guidelines for Serving LGBT Youth in Out-of-Home Care
Family Acceptance Project™ Resource Links:
San Francisco State University Related Programs
LGBT Family-Related Organizations
LGBT Youth Organizations
School-Related Resources
Gender-Related Resources
LGBT Legal Advocacy Organizations
Online Resources for LGBT Youth
Hotlines
Adolescent Health
National LGBT Organizations
LGBT Health-Related Organizations
Lesbian and Gay Youth: Care and Counseling - By Caitlin Ryan and Donna Futterman
UA professor Stephen T. Russell to Explore LGBT Suicide Risk – 2008
Homophobic families harm gay teenagers, study claims - 2008
Internalized Homophobia and Relationship Quality among Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals - David M. Frost and Ilan H. Meyer - 2009
Journal of Counseling Psychology 2009, Vol. 56, No. 1, 97–109
New Report Shows Inequalities for Children with LGBT Parents
Talking About Suicide & LGBT Populations - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Preventing Suicide among LGBT Youth by Effie Malley - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Homophobia Is Killing Our Youth – 2009
Gay Bullying Deaths and Religion: Are Believers the Problem or the Solution? 2010
For Many Gay Youth, Bullying Exacts a Deadly Toll – 2010
Gay bullying and Catholic responsibilities – 2010
Homophobia in the Church: What Catholics Are Doing About It, and What Still Needs to Be Done – 2010
“Most religious denominations continue to condemn homosexuality as sinful and
provide a rationale for marginalizing LGB people.” - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Social Environment - Although the social environment itself has not been defined as a risk factor for suicide, widespread discrimination against LGBT people, heterosexist attitudes, and gender bias can lead to risk factors such as isolation, family rejection, and lack of access to care providers. Risk factors may interact in unhealthy ways—for example, internalized homophobia or victimization may lead to stress, which is associated with depression and substance abuse, which can contribute to suicide risk. This risk may be compounded by a lack of protective factors that normally provide resilience, such as strong family connections, peer support, and access to effective health and mental health providers…
Herek and colleagues (2007) describe a framework to understand the social environment for sexual minorities. The framework integrates the sociological idea of stigma with the psychological idea of prejudice. Through stigma, society discredits and invalidates homosexuality relative to heterosexuality. Institutions embodying stigma results in heterosexism, and heterosexual individuals internalizing stigma results in prejudice. The United States legal system has faced challenges by sexual minorities and sympathetic heterosexuals that have led to significant changes. However, the legal system continues to reinforce stigma through discriminatory laws and the absence of laws protecting sexual minorities from discrimination in employment, housing, and services. A minority of states had antidiscrimination laws as of 2005, and most of these only referred to employment and not to housing or services. Most religious denominations continue to condemn homosexuality as sinful and provide a rationale for marginalizing LGB people…
See no Race, See no Gay: What Proponents of a Gay-Blind Approach to Bullying in the Schools can Learn from Race Relations - by Kira Hudson Banks, Ph.D. and Nestor L. Lopez-Duran PhD,
2010 - Psychology Today
Bullying, gay teen suicides, and a need for a solution – 2010 - Nestor L. Lopez-Duran, PhD. - clinical child psychologist and researcher, University of Michigan
Bullies and Victims: Boys will be boys or a symptom of distress? 2009 -Child Psychology Research
http://www.child-psych.org/2009/10/bullies-and-victims-a-risk-for-psychopathology.html#comment-47375
The cruelties of STRUCTURAL VIOLENCE on CHILDREN are often subtle, unspoken, unrecognized, and even normalized, regarded by many people as natural or “just the way things are.” Daniel J. Christie - Peace, Conflict, and Violence:
Peace Psychology for the 21st Century.
Pope’s child porn 'normal' claim sparks outrage among victims -122110
Related links:
John Jay Report: On Not Blaming Homosexual Priests – 51711
"No public figure talks more about child safety but does little to actually make children safer than Pope Benedict" 112611
The New John Jay Report on Clergy Abuse in the Catholic Church – “The researchers conclude that there is no causative relationship between either celibacy or homosexuality and the sexual victimization of children in the Church.” 51811
Facts about Homosexuality and Child Molestation - Gregory M. Herek, Ph.D.
Roman Catholic Hierarchy child sexual abuse “cover-ups” ordered by Benedict XVI to avoid public outrage & criminal charges falsely accused gay priests, WATERGATE? – January 2, 2010
GAY MARRIAGE - Benedict XVI Dismisses Science Reason – Natural Law | Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely | PART 1
GAY MARRIAGE – Understanding – NATURAL LAW & How it can be used? – With or Without - Reason & Rational |To Support - Benedict XVI & Hierarchy’s Vague & Negative Statements Against Homosexuality | PART 2
GAY MARRIAGE – “Doublespeak” Benedict XVI - IRRATIONAL Shift Blame Gays – Evading UN Accusations Global COVER-UPS Child Sexual Abuse “…a COMPLETE FAILURE to take responsibility” | PART 3
GAY MARRIAGE – Non-Violence is Key - Use of Violent Confrontation Strategies - The Moral Arguments of People Who Are Being Unjustly Treated Become Irrelevant – The Use of Violence Only Creates More Violence | PART 4
GAY MARRIAGE – Propaganda Tactics|B16’s Naturalistic fallacy & Homosexuality - Dehumanizing, Depriving Civil Rights, Silencing Gays - Covering Up B16 Crimes Against Children 30+yrs? |PART 5
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic Truth ≠ Benedict XVI & hierarchy’s SPIN - Unsubstantiated Antigay Teachings & Disregard for Children – Silent Catholics COLLUDING w/B16 – Continually Hurting Kids!!! | One – Letter & Many – Copies | Anne Rice | PART 6
GAY MARRIAGE – Homosexuality for Catholics or anyone? "WHY IT IS A 'GIFT' FROM GOD!!!" And when we accept and value this gift from God – we are able to experience love like never before, and we are able to love. | PART 7
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