This post has been revised and moved:
The Psychology of the Closeted Individual and Coming Out - 2007
by Jack Drescher, M.D
Many LGB individuals report developmental histories with difficulty acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others. This is because, starting in childhood, LGB individuals are often subjected to antihomosexual attitudes, not only from strangers, but also from their own families and communities (Drescher, Stein and Byne, (2005). The childhood need to hide may persist into adulthood, leading many LGB individuals to conceal important aspects of themselves…Closeted individuals cannot acknowledge homoerotic feelings, attractions and fantasies to themselves. They cannot or will not integrate homosexuality into their public personae and these feelings must be dissociated out of conscious awareness…
Some gay men, before coming out, were either gay-baiters or gay-bashers. To maintain a psychological distance from their own homoerotic feelings, they also exhibit dissociative tendencies. Attacking those perceived to be gay can serve several functions. One penile plethysmography study indicated that men with strong antihomosexual beliefs actually had significant homosexual arousal patterns (Adams, 1996). Interpersonally, strong antihomosexual feelings may represent
an effort to control perceptions of a gay-basher’s own sexual identity. If they attack gay people, others will not think of them as gay...
Read complete paper:
Likely To Be Stronger Among Those Who Have Repressed Same-Sex Attraction: Report – 4/09/12
A new study has confirmed what many in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community have suspected for some time: that homophobic attitudes are likely to be more pronounced among those who've experienced unacknowledged attraction towards members of the same sex. Photo
…published this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology… The findings provide new evidence to support the psychoanalytic theory that fear, anxiety, and aversion that toward gays and lesbians can grow out of a seemingly heterosexual individual's own repressed same-sex desires, co-author Richard Ryan, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester who helped direct the research, told Science Daily.
"In many cases these are people who are at war with themselves and they are turning this internal conflict outward," Ryan is quoted as saying. "We laugh at or make fun of such blatant hypocrisy, but in a real way, these people may often themselves be victims of repression and experience exaggerated feelings of threat. Homophobia is not a laughing matter."
ScienceDaily (Apr. 6, 2012) — Homophobia is more pronounced in individuals with an unacknowledged attraction to the same sex and who grew up with authoritarian parents who forbade such desires, a series of psychology studies demonstrates.
The study is the first to document the role that both parenting and sexual orientation play in the formation of intense and visceral fear of homosexuals, including self-reported homophobic attitudes, discriminatory bias, implicit hostility towards gays, and endorsement of anti-gay policies…
By Henry E. Adams, Lester W. Wright, Jr., and Bethany A. Lohr, University of Georgia - 1996
…Hostility and discrimination against homosexual individuals are well-established facts (Berrill, 1990). On occasion, these negative attitudes lead to hostile verbal and physical acts against gay individuals with little apparent motivation except a strong dislike (Herek, 1989). In fact, more than 90% of gay men and lesbians report being targets of verbal abuse or threats, and more than one-third report being survivors of violence related to their homosexuality (Fassinger, 1991). Although negative attitudes and behaviors toward gay individuals have been assumed to be associated with rigid moralistic beliefs, sexual ignorance, and fear of homosexuality, the etiology of these attitudes and behaviors remains a puzzle (Marmor, 1980). Weinberg (1972) labeled these attitudes and behaviors homophobia, which he defined as the dread of being in close quarters with homosexual men and women as well as irrational fear, hatred, and intolerance by heterosexual individuals of homosexual men and women… Photo
Journal of Abnormal Psychology, American Psychological Association, Inc.
1996, Vol. 105, No. 3,440—445
The Roots Of Homophobia - Inside The Mind Of People Who Hate Gays
Internalized homophobia and health issues affecting lesbians and gay men - Iain R. Williamson – 9/17/98
by Karen Franklin, forensic psychologist
Bias-related violence against homosexuals is believed to be widespread in the United States, with perpetrators typically described by victims as young men in groups who assault targets of convenience. Victim accounts suggest that assailants possess tremendous rage and hatred; indeed, documentation of horrific levels of brutality has led gay activists to characterize the violence as political terrorism aimed at all gay men and lesbians. Other motives for antigay violence suggested in the literature include male bonding, proving heterosexuality, and purging secret homosexual desires. Due to a dearth of empirical research with assailants, motives are largely inferred from victim accounts and a handful of publicized cases. Thus, the goal of the research discussed in this chapter was to investigate assailants' self-described motivations for their assaults. ...
Romney Apologizes For Bullying In Prep School, Says He Didn't Know Victim Was Gay – 5/10/12
…It's never quite clear whether a politician's high school years are fair game for political attacks. Romney suggested during the interview that the acts he was apologizing for were merely youthful indiscretions; the Post described him pinning a closeted gay classmate to the ground and cutting his long hair, for example. But with the story suggesting latent homophobia in an adolescent Romney and with President Barack Obama having endorsed same-sex marriage on Wednesday, the piece reverberated.
Still, Romney said he was "not going to be too concerned" about the item. He insisted that he grew up in a tolerant environment and that there was nothing about his pranks that were discriminatory towards gays…
Outed for physical and verbal abuse of gay classmates during high school, U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney is trivializing the incidents as "pranks" and "dumb things," and claiming not to know the boy he assaulted was gay.
To me, his response came as no surprise. This is precisely what most gay-bashers think and say, according to my groundbreaking research on the motivations of perpetrators.
In the first empirical research into prevalence rates of and motivations for antigay harassment and violence by noncriminal young adults, I found antigay behaviors like Romney's to be alarmingly commonplace. One in 10 young adults in the politically liberal San Francisco Bay Area admitted to physical violence or threats against presumed homosexuals, and another 24 percent acknowledged name-calling. The percentages were even higher among young men. The frequency of self-acknowledged antigay behaviors among a general population sample was consistent with victim studies in which large proportions of lesbians and gay men report sexuality-related victimization…
Homosexuality and bisexuality - Encyclopedia of Children's Health
…Development of sexual identity in middle childhood and early adolescence is a natural process but is more stressful for homosexual adolescents, according to the American School Health Association (ASHA). To avoid rejection and hostility, homosexual adolescents feel obliged to hide their sexual identities. Professionals generally agree that homosexual identity development usually occurs in stages, according to a March 2003 article in ASHA Journal of School Health.
The first stage is identified as "sensitization" or early awareness, where, around age 10, a child experiences same-sex attraction and feelings of being different than other children. The second stage is "identity confusion," in which simple awareness is no longer ignored. Gay male and lesbian children usually try to hide their sexual identities because society encourages heterosexuality. This stage is usually resolved by denying or hiding homosexual feelings, repressing same-sex attraction, or taking on a homosexual identity…
In hiding their sexual identities, homosexual and bisexual adolescents deprive themselves and each other of positive role models. However, disclosure to family members may lead to pressure to change through psychological or religious "conversion" therapies, which the ASHA regards as ineffective. The ASHA and most other professional organizations say family support when an adolescent discloses that they are gay or bisexual is crucial to the child's mental and emotional health. Children and teens who reveal that they are gay or bisexual to non-supportive families are much more likely to become runaways and resort to prostitution for financial support…
Numerous studies show that gay and bisexual youth are at a higher risk of dropping out of school, of being kicked out of their homes, and becoming prostitutes, than their heterosexual peers. They also have a higher incidence of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use. Studies have also shown that gay and bisexual adolescents are two to seven times more likely to commit or attempt suicide compared to heterosexual children and teens. Other studies have found that 45 percent of gay males and 20 percent of lesbians were victims of verbal or physical abuse in middle and high school and were two to four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon compared to heterosexual students…
Read complete paper & more:
Internalized homophobia and health issues affecting lesbians and gay men - Iain R. Williamson – 9/17/98
…In common with research into other forms of prejudice, many individuals within lesbian and gay communities may internalize significant aspects of the prejudice experienced within a heterosexist society. This process is consistent with Allport's (Allport, 1954) theory of `traits due to victimization'. He argues that stigmatized individuals engage in defensive reactions as a result of the prejudice they experience…
(1) Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - Gay Catholic Priest 1997 “Coming Out” for “Protection of Children from Antigay Social & Religious Norms” – Vatican Ordered REPARATIVE THERAPY – Photo
(2) World Health Organization 2012 Calls REPARATIVE THERAPY Serious Threat to Health &Life - Denounces as Illicit, Unethical, Violate Human Rights
(3) VATICAN CRACKDOWN 2012 on GAY MARRIAGE Supporters: (LCWR Nuns) – Seeks Permanent Removal & Silence of Gay Priest - Has No Recourse
Nunsense: Pope errs in rebuking sisters – May 2, 2012 – CBS
Vatican orders crackdown on U.S. nun group – 4/19/12 - CBS
…Nearly a half-century later, the church leadership's animus against nuns seems like a heavy-handed, reactionary response to the sexual scandals that have taken place, notably the priestly abuse of children and other minors. To this end, the Vatican last month issued a report rebuking what is regarded as the most influential group of Catholic nuns in the U.S. Specifically, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious was accused of spreading information that had "promoted radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith," including views on contraception, gay rights and women's ordination.
Rather than confront evil within the clergy, in other words, Benedict appears to be trying to reinforce his authority by lashing out at one group within the church he thinks he can intimidate.
As The New York Times noted, the Vatican document also accused the nun's group off "focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice, while keeping 'silent' on abortion and same-sex marriage."
"The church hierarchy never recoiled in horror from pedophilia, yet it recoils in horror from outspoken nuns," Times columnist Maureen Dowd subsequently wrote in a recent column. Added fellow NYT scribe Nicholas Kristof, "Even as bishops have disgraced the church by covering up the rape of children, the nuns have redeemed it with their humble work on behalf of the neediest."
The Vatican’s doctrinal office on Monday denounced an American nun who taught Christian ethics at Yale Divinity School for a book that attempted to present a theological rationale for same-sex relationships, masturbation and remarriage after divorce.
The Vatican office, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, said that the book, “Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics,” by Sister Margaret A. Farley, was “not consistent with authentic Catholic theology,” and should not be used by Roman Catholics…
US nuns consider response to Vatican censure – 8/02/12
American nuns accused of straying far from Roman Catholic doctrine will decide at a national meeting next week whether they should accept or resist a Vatican-ordered overhaul.
The Leadership Conference of Women Religious, which represents about 80 percent of the 57,000 U.S. sisters, will gather for the first time since the Vatican said the sisters have been promoting "radical feminist themes" about the priesthood, artificial contraception and homosexuality. The report, issued in April, prompted an outpouring of support for the sisters nationwide, including parish vigils, protests outside the Vatican embassy in Washington and a resolution in Congress commending the sisters for their service to the country.
The nuns will discuss their next steps in private sessions at the assembly, which starts Tuesday in St. Louis.
"One of our concerns is that questioning is seen as defiance. It's not healthy as a church," Sister Pat Farrell, president of the Leadership Conference, said in a phone interview with reporters. "Our intention, our sense of our own fidelity, is that we continue raising and responding to questions according to our own consciences and according to new information arising."
Vatican Crackdown: Vatican II At Heart Of Dispute Between American Nuns And Catholic Church – 8/07/12
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. (RNS) Fifty years after Pope John XXIII convened the Second Vatican Council to modernize the Roman Catholic Church, the legacy of that watershed summit that revolutionized Catholic life is at the core of a dispute between the Vatican and American nuns.
In April, the Vatican accused the Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR), the umbrella group that represents the majority of American nuns, of "doctrinal confusion." As LCWR leaders meet this week (Aug. 7-11) to plot their response to the Vatican, many of the sisters say they are just following the spirit of Vatican II.
"This is not just about the Vatican versus the nuns. This really is about the future of how we interpret the message of the Second Vatican Council," Sister Maureen Fiedler told the PBS program "Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly."
Nuns group: We are not leaving the church - 8/16/12
WASHINGTON — A leader of the group of Catholic nuns who are facing a crackdown from the Vatican said Thursday (Aug. 16) that her members have no plans or desire to leave the church, or reconstitute their group beyond Vatican control…
"THERAPIES" TO CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATION
LACK MEDICAL JUSTIFICATION
Washington, D.C., 17 May 2012 (PAHO/WHO) — Services that purport to "cure" people with non-heterosexual sexual orientation lack medical justification and represent a serious threat to the health and well-being of affected people, the Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) said in a position statement launched on 17 May, the International Day against Homophobia. The statement calls on governments, academic institutions, professional associations and the media to expose these practices and to promote respect for diversity…
The Lies and Dangers of Reparative Therapy – HRC - May 2012
Many right-wing religious groups promote the concept that an individual can change his or her sexual orientation, either through prayer or other religious efforts, or through so-called "reparative" or "conversion" therapy. The limited research on such efforts has disproven their efficacy, and also has indicated that they can be affirmatively harmful. Beyond studies focused solely on reparative therapy, broader research clearly demonstrates the significant harm that societal prejudice and family rejection has on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people, particularly youth. Furthermore, there is significant anecdotal evidence of harm to LGBT people resulting from attempts to change their sexual orientation. Based on this body of evidence, every major medical and mental health organization in the United States has issued a statement condemning the use of reparative therapy…
Research on the Impacts of Reparative Therapy, Harms Caused by
Organizational Positions on Reparative Therapy
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American School Counselor Association
National Association of Social Workers
Pan American Health Organization (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - WHISTLEBLOWING to protect gay children from the Severity of Antigay Social & Religious Norms - FLEES – Hostile Working Environment Incapacitating Retaliation - NOW – Vatican Twist Flees to Refusing to Return – to remove from Clerical State - Gay Priest is Defenseless has No Civil Protection
This posting was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting it here on the Thalamus Center.
Updated Background information added below 8/09/12
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, I came out March 1997 to draw public attention to help protect children who are growing up to be gay – from life threatening devastating effects of the Vatican’s unsubstantiated antigay teachings. Photo
Removing my Clerical State
Presently June 2012, my Bishop Hurley of the Grand Rapids Diocese is seeking to remove my clerical state and even suggested that I voluntary seek this change. I am a priest and the fact that I am is the reason I felt morality responsible to “come out” for the protection of gay children growing up by making helping to make the public aware of the documented evidence of the life time harm that is caused to children who grow up gay and who are living in antigay social environments.
One of the major sources that significantly is responsible for creating antigay social environment is the Vatican antigay teaching, which are in fact unsubstantiated, because they are not supported by scripture scholars or by science.
For the Vatican this once again is the same problem they got into regarding Galileo, which nearly 400 years later, Pope John Paul II said the Vatican was wrong and Galileo obviously was right. Only, this time millions of very young children globally are at risk who are not able to protect themselves and are being harm for life being raised in antigay social environments. The Vatican for the sake of these children around the world needs to immediately renounce all their antigay teachings, because they are not based on truth. They are all unsubstantiated.
The Reason - for removing my
Bishop Hurley states is my
REFUSAL TO RETURN to the Diocese
Not True - In 1997
I was being Forced Out by Vatican’s Hostile Treatment
In 1997, nearly 2 months after having “come out” I was completely surprised by the Vatican’s unethical and malicious directive that I be sent away (location was not given) for a period of several months to be reeducated on homosexuality and sexual orientation, which essentially is reparative therapy. It was starling for me to find that all my years of faithful dedication, achievements that contributed to my favorable status in the Diocese were totally wiped away. It was as if, I was not deserving of even plain human respect. The issuing of this dehumanizing directive from the Vatican was like a traumatic shock that instantly made it vividly clear to me that my personal safety and wellbeing were no longer of any importance in the Diocese. My life had been threatened and no one was willing to protect me, which meant it was no longer safe for me to remain in the Diocese of Grand Rapids. Photo
The Vatican’s directive was a hostile threat I felt to force or to scare me so that out of fear I would flee to leave the priesthood voluntary. I believe this was their plan or at least it seemed to be so. However, it was because I was a priest and that it was my duty as priest to be willing to die for others, especially children. I knew very well that I had done no wrong. (1) There was ample research and clinical documentation, as well as, my personal experience and extensive observations of LGBT students, adults, communities, and PFLAG parents that overwhelming supported the fact of the life time harm that is caused to children growing up gay raised in antigay social environments. (2) The Vatican’s antigay teachings are unsubstantiated because they are not supported by scripture scholars or by science. They are fraudulent because of the life threatening harm and violence they perpetuate, globally. It is a case like the Vatican condemning Galileo, which Pope John Paul II agreed and apologized for the Vatican’s wrongdoing.
There was no reason for me to leave the priesthood personally or otherwise and to do would be running out on children, who are not able to protect themselves. It would mean failing to continue standing up for the truth, which IS the core foundation of being a priest. It was and still is my life.
The Key Reason for Leaving Diocese
Escape Vatican’s Relentless Hostile Discrimination
However, I asked of instead of being sent away to be reeducated on my homosexuality and sexual orientation, if I could study psychology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, if I paid for it. The Vatican in the same mean-spirited and hostile manner granted me an educational leave of absence that was left opened ended. In addition, this also meant I would have to give up my regular monthly priest salary that included room and board. It was clear that the Vatican by their demonstrated hostility towards me that they did not want me anymore and that they truly wanted me to leave. I left the Diocese of Grand Rapids because I was no longer safe; in fact it was out of fear for my life that I left. I was so surprised by their hostility, which never ended and it is back again, today 2012, with great even greater force...
Below is a copy of his letter July 31, 2012 sent to the wrong mailing address.
No Civil or Whistleblower Protection for
Gay Priests or any Priest
KILLING THE SECRECY only Hope
As a Gay Catholic Priest – I have no civil protection my bishop and the Vatican knows this. “Separation of Church and State” and the Vatican Diplomatic Immunity protect them from civil intervention. The only recourse, if anyone is listening and understands the relationship and life of a Roman Catholic priest, that I have or any priest has is to go public, do not keep the secrecy. Going public is absolutely no guarantee of receiving any help or support. The only hope this has is one of knowledge helping people become more aware of the secrecy of the Vatican’s corruption, especially these days and likely for the past 30 years. There is an identifiable manner in the way I have been treated since I came out 1997 that is similar to the 30 years of ongoing cover-ups of the Vatican, which has been exposed in part from the Vatileaks and the Vatican Bank Scandals. In particular, the opposition to the Vatican (unwanted or threatening personnel including secular persons) are ousted, documents are forged, misleading information is given, attacks are made on their reputations to destroy their credibility, and publically facts are always twisted to make the Vatican appear as the victim or the ones in the right.
Below is the letter sent to dated July 31, 2012 and my letter sent to Bishop Hurley.
Click on to enlarge
Below Fr. Marty Kurylowicz's return letter:
August 2, 2012
Most Reverend Walter A. Hurley
Bishop of Grand Rapids
I have not received any letter from your office dated June 29, 2012, because as you indicated in your letter dated July 31, 2012 it was sent to the wrong address. This seems like a deliberate attempt to make sure I did not receive this letter of yours dated June 29, 2012 and therefore you could state I did not respond to your directives.
The one and only letter that I did receive from your office was dated July 31, 2012 and it was sent to 682 Deer Street, Plymouth, Michigan, which is not my mailing address. It is surprising that I have been receiving all the diocesan mail for the past 2 years addressed to me at my correct mailing address.
It is interesting that your previous letters mailed to me in the past have been (1) notarized and (2) sent by certified mail so that you would have proof that I received your letter. If you followed this same procedure of yours and there is no reason to think that you would not, considering the extreme importance of the contents that you refer was in your letter dated June 29, 2012 then you would have proof that I did not receive it. This would be true; unless of course you did not intend that I should receive your letter dated June 29, 2012 so that you could speed up the process to alter my clerical state and falsely claim that I did not respond in the allotted time of 15 days. If this was indeed your intention your actions could rightly be called deceitful and ruthless.
It is equally puzzling as you indicated in your letter to me dated July 31, 2012 that I failed to respond to you in the 15 days set down in your letter to me dated June 29, 2012 (which I did not receive), if you believe you sent this letter of June 29, 2012 to my correct address, why then would send your second letter dated July 31, 2012 to a different address that is not my mailing address? Unless, of course, again, you did not intend me to receive your second letter dated July 31, 2012. Then you would have been able to alter my clerical state without my ever knowing you had, until I would be quite surprised to be informed that my health care insurance had been discontinued. Later I would learn that I had no legal recourse because I did not respond to any of your letters, which I never received. In the Archdiocese of Detroit it has been stated among many who had legal dealings with you including attorneys that you are known to have ample precedents for being - deceitful and ruthless.
However, I am indeed deeply surprised by the contents in your letter dated July 31, 2012 and I can emphatically assure you that I have absolutely no intention whatever to give up my clerical state. It was because I took seriously my duty as a priest and stood up for the factual truth about sexual orientation by “coming out” to my parishioners in March 1997 for the safety and well being of children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age, as documented in the Grand Rapids Press at that time and because I did so the Vatican has continuously been mistreating me. My present situation for the past 15 years is entirely due to the hostile working environment imposed on me created by the threat that was made on my well-being, indeed my life that came from the bishop’s office May 1997, which were the Vatican’s directives ordering me to be sent away on a sabbatical for several months to be reeducated regarding sexual orientation, an intensive form of reparative therapy, also known as conversion therapy. It is a psychotherapy attempt to change a person’s homosexuality that is based on the debunked concept that homosexuality is a mental disorder in the 1970’s by both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association. Soon other national associations from both the medical and mental health professionals from their own independent research data followed suit. Since, then there is more than ample clinical documentation and research data that continued to assert through the 1980’s and 1990’s right up to 1997 that homosexual orientation is a natural part of human development and that any attempt to try to alter or change a person’s homosexuality was considered unethical because of the severe life threatening harm that was found could harm a person more.
The only type of mental problems that were found to be associated with homosexuals were those caused by the stress from being raised in hostile anti-gay social environments living under the constant possibility of encountering violent life threatening physical attacks, e.g. those created by the Vatican’s unsubstantiated anti-teachings, the unsubstantiated public remarks made about homosexuality by such clerics as Archbishop Tartaglia, along with Dolan, Nienstedt, Bertone, George and many many others including Benedict XVI.
The reason why I was to be subjected to the unethical practice of thos intense reparative therapy of being reeducated about the homosexual orientation that was ordered by the Vatican was because in March 1997, at the age of 47 years old I came out to my parishioners at Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan to help stop the violence against gay people, most especially to children as young as 4 and 5 years old who grow up to be gay. The fact that I was a priest I felt not only morally obligated but that it was my duty as a priest to be willing to even sacrifice my life for the safety and well-being of children. As you know though you may have forgotten is true reason and meaning for being a priest. However, in truth I always hoped that that card would never fall into my lap, but fall it did and I believed that how a person responds in this kind of situation would define that person’s whole existence. There is no escape...
Read complete letter:
Gay Marriage – Truth Wins – Benedict XVI - Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely – Inevitable Chaos – Regression – VATILEAKS - Manufacturing Smokescreen? - Conceal Culpability | Child Sexual Abuse Cover-ups, VATICAN BANK Transparency vs. Money Laundering, Character Assassination, Silencing Social Justice | Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
This posting was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting it here on the Thalamus Center.
We cannot selfishly tramper with human life without causing great harm and destruction that will eventually come back to claim our lives and all those who supported us, including all those who through their silence, or ignorance or apathy colluded with us.
Vatican’s Diplomatic Immunity
No one in the Vatican can go around hurting people – especially children globally and expect to get away with it. The Vatican for most people is considered a place of goodness and love, of truth and honesty or at least a place where it should exist. One by one, over the last 30 some years, globally people have been disillusioned to find that the Vatican quite the opposite of God’s goodness and love. It has greatly eroded the high esteem and regard that people once had for the Vatican. What people have discovered that those in the Vatican are able to get away with their continuous dishonestly and violence, because of their diplomatic immunity. It is the over use of their diplomatic immunity that the scandal of the decades of the child sexual abuse cover-ups are kept alive and festering, because the truth remain unresolved…
This posting is the eighth part of a larger one and was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting here on the Thalamus Center.
Update Reference links 3/26/12
The theme of this posting is about the importance of being true to oneself and the devastation that can occur when people refuse to face the truth that exists within them. “Pleasantville” (1998) is a movie that was written and directed by Gary Ross. This movie is a unique flashback to the 1950s sitcoms filmed for the most part in black and white. A time in the past believed to be a less troublesome time. The ingenious aspect of this movie is the way in which it is able to portray the personal struggles of each individual when challenged to face their own particular truth within themselves or to give into the pressure to conform to the social norms. Gary Ross gives an excellent insightful commentary which can be found on the DVD to this movie explaining the complexities involved in the struggles and importance of being true to oneself. Photo
The next section explores the problems connected to what seems to be the inability for some people particularly for those well known public figures who adamantly speak out against homosexuality to face their own personal homosexual feelings within themselves. Many of these same people were later discovered to be in homosexual relationships or situations. This process is referred to as a dissociated state of mind from homosexual feelings, which is explained thoroughly in the book by Harry Stack Sullivan MD, Dissociative Processes, Clinical Studies on Psychiatry (1956). Photo There is no authoritative factual evidence or religious reason to be intolerant of homosexuals; therefore the intolerance comes from the pressure to conform to ignorant social norms, which appears to be in some way self-perpetuating. Researchers have found that homophobia appears to be strongly connected to homosexual arousal. The listing of the news media articles the follow are about antigay public figures found in homosexual situations, which suggests that homophobia is associated with homosexual arousal. This sections ends with a few quotes from the movie “Pleasantville” (1998) of the court scenes towards the end of the movie. “But see that's just the point. It can't stop at once. Because it's in you. And you can't stop something that's inside you.”
In the following section is about honestly knowing oneself and then having the courage to face the overwhelming pressure, even threats to conform to ignorant social norms about homosexuals and then make a strong public stand for their rights as human beings regarding gay marriage. We have been slowly over the last few years witnessing a most unexpected but most deeply appreciated increase in this courageous outpouring on the part of some many of our politicians across our nation. This courageous momentum on the part of so many may have had an accumulating effect in helping to encourage on the many in NY who so ardently work towards the passing of the gay marriage bill in New York State 2011. As the nation and the world watched the moment by moment struggle of this process – something occurred in what seems to be an astounding phenomenon of life imitating art related to the passing of the New York Gay Marriage Bill June 2011. In the 1961 movie a “Pocketful of Miracles” at the end of the movie the Gov. of New York State and the Mayor of NYC both from different normally feuding political parties come together for no other reason than “to do something good for someone else,” which is to help Apple Annie with her daughter’s wedding. Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the Mayor of NYC Michael Bloomberg of different political parties came together and were dedicated in their efforts working to help make the NY Gay Marriage Bill a reality and they succeeded. Thank God! Photo This could be called a Capraesque moment which some people may count as irrelevant, but it is darn nice when it happens, which is not that often or so one might think. However, in the UK PM David Cameron is in earnest leading the legalization of gay marriage, only to be joined by Former UK PM Tony Blair. We hope and remain in continuous prayer for their success in this most profound endeavor for all of humanity.
The next section explains in part what happens when people do not face the truth about themselves. Over time if they are left unchallenged to face the truth of their false reality it then becomes their reality, which can have the most serious ramifications for other unsuspecting individuals. The 1941 movie “Arsenic and Old Lace” depicts this unfortunate life threatening phenomenon in a humorous way, which stars Cary Grant. However, without the humor this movie helps to describe the surreal world of Benedict XVI, his seeming oblivious disregard for the truth about human sexuality in particular homosexual orientation, the authoritative facts from both science and the bible. Benedict XVI disregard for the truth in this way actually does kill innocent people. Photo
Finally the last section, I describe, in brief, the life long process of what was involved for me in my “coming out” and how I had to undo the decades of harm caused by my blind obedience to believing as true the Vatican’s unsubstantiated antigay teachings. Lastly the focus is on the tremendous courage of Ricky Martin, as a super star to face the truth about his sexual orientation by his public “coming out.” Mr. Martin’s “coming out” has been a significant factor that has help so many adults and children globally. Photo
Passing NY Gay Marriage Bill 2011
Protect Religious Freedom – but not Tyranny in Religion - June 20, 2011
The way to begin for us all, not only the NY State Senators, to protect Religious Freedom and not Tyranny in Religion is by obtaining a well-informed conscience. We start by individually approaching and studying in (great detail because it involves the lives of children) from the best and the brightest (1) scripture scholars regarding the references related to homosexuality and (2) scientists in the field of study of human sexuality, in particular, but [not] limited to, the onset of sexual orientation. The prerequisite to the formation of a well-informed conscience is making a thorough study of all sides of the issue from all available authoritative data and research, including opposing views. Then in this way we are better equipped to decide who and what needs government protection in regards to the gay marriage bill. This exhaustive procedure follows to the letter the Gospel quotation about the “plank” and the” speck.”
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”. Luke 6:42
The “plank” for us is ignorance. If we satisfactorily resolve this ignorance, then together we will be able to see more clearly, whether or not, as NY State Senators (government officials) and as citizens we are colluding with the Catholic Hierarchy and are harming children, as was found to be the case in the Ireland Murphy Report.
…This piece of legislation the gay marriage bill is not like any other in that it involves the well-being of children, at its very root…
How I resolved this situation was through hours upon hours of continuous prayer. Afterwards, I came to the realization that my life had already been altered – changed forever. Because there was no way I could pretend I did not know what I knew, how severely children are harmed for life by the unsubstantiated antigay teachings and antigay social norms. I decided that I could not live with the regret knowing that I had a chance to make a profound difference for the better for others, most especially children and that I did nothing. My life would be nothing. I took the bungee jump and I came out to my parishioners. It definitely was not easy, but one thing that happened to me is - I gained a real sense of peace and well-being that has remained constant and unshaken. The scripture passages that kept repeating over and over in my head were:
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25
“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” Luke 9:25
“Anyone who loves their FATHER or mother more than me is not worthy of me;… Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:36-38
“…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6
Even after Benedict XVI and his accomplices’ mistreatment of me and the serious harm they have caused me that sense of peace has never left me. It is remains rock solid. I believe that is the benefit of spending the time and energy of acquiring a well-informed conscience regarding sexual orientation.
Written by Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic Truth ≠ Benedict XVI & hierarchy’s SPIN - Unsubstantiated Antigay Teachings & Disregard for Children – Silent Catholics COLLUDING w/B16 – Continually Hurting Kids!!! | One – Letter & Many – Copies | Anne Rice | PART 6
GAY MARRIAGE – HOMOSEXUALITY For Catholics or Anyone? "WHY IT IS A 'GIFT' FROM GOD!!!" And when we accept and value this gift from God – we are able to experience love like never before, and we are able to love | PART 7
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz Photo
COMING OUT and NEW BEGINNINGS
May 21, 2009 – updated 3/12/12
The very first person I was able to “come out” to was a Trappist Abbot, who I visited yearly, some 3000 miles away from where I lived. I came out to him just before I was to enter the monastery. The Abbot was shocked that I thought being "gay" was something bad, “Who said you were Bad!” He said, "Why it is a 'gift' from God!!!" Then I was in shock. It was not the response I had expected. I was completely confused. Disappointed at first, however, "life" began there for me but ever so faintly but it was definite I was "different." The Abbot told me ever so kindly and reassuringly that I must, first, go back out into the world and come to appreciate all the blessings that come with being "gay."
At that time, I could not even imagine being "gay" in any positive light. But I trusted the Abbot's wisdom, his sincerity, his genuine empathy for another human being and his care for me. It was not until several years later and my fifth therapist that I began to normalize to the truth about myself that I was indeed “gay.” It was at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI that I really noticed my life beginning. There were several more years of acclimating that I had to go through before I realized that I was at peace with myself and the anger I wore like a coat had greatly dissipated. All that energy trapped in suppressing the fact I was “gay” for years and years was turned loose. I went back to school now in by mid 40's. I was simultaneously enrolled taking classes at both Aquinas College, Grand Rapids, MI and the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI at the same time, all while being a full time pastor in Grand Rapids, MI (Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI) and teaching High School and 3rd grade religion classes. Without all that anger eating me up inside I came "alive" for the first time in my life! I felt like that song "But Alive" from the Broadway musical “Applause Applause.”
…We are more alike than we are different from one another. The way to check this out is by checking out who is angry about Marriage Equality. If they are absolutely 100% heterosexual what and how would they know anything about homosexuality? Where are they getting their information? There are many questions to be answered if their anger will allow them to.
I found that the true heterosexuals are clueless about homosexuals expressions of love and they have absolutely no anger towards homosexuals, especially people they never met and do not know. They tend to be genuinely interested about what life is like for them, but no anger. They tend to connect on the issues about what it is like to fall in love with someone.
My only concern is to stop the abuse to innocent children who are defenseless and powerless to protect themselves. I would hope this was first and foremost everyone's concern. First, intelligently and thoroughly make sure, as God wants us to, if kids are safe, before speaking harmful words. Photo
The Bible and Being
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
I learned from my studies in psychology and my personal therapy that sexual orientation is a natural development of being human and therefore cannot be considered a sin against God. This is where my guilt began, as far back as when I was a child. From further studies of those like from Daniel Helminiak, STL, PhD, PhD, LPC regarding "Does the bible condemn homosexuality?" I learned that it does not. I was experiencing a different kind of strong feeling that of needing to be protective of children when I realized through studies, therapy and my "coming out" that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age know that they are different not gay but that they do not fit in. This "different" and "not fitting in" are the effects of antigay influences experienced as a child. These same children grow up to be gay.
Realizing how long it took me to "come out" in my 40's I could not even think of putting even one child through what I went through. All that wasted time, years, opportunities for life and love lost! I came out publicly, in 1997, to draw attention to this kind of harm caused to children who grow up to be gay raised in social environments influenced by antigay social and religious norms. They are our tomorrows!!! They are loved and watched by God. NO ONE EVER SHOULD HARM A CHILD!
Catholics Coming Out - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz & Ricky Martin - March 29, 1997, 2010 - Leading Support Gay Marriage - NY Gov Cuomo & Vatican Attacks – March 29, 2011
By Alan Duke
CNN.com, March 29, 2010
LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Pop singer Ricky Martin declared publicly this week what he avoided discussing for years: He is gay.
"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Martin wrote on his official Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am."
…Now, Martin wrote, "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed."
The 39-year-old Puerto Rican native started off with the Latin boy band Menudo before launching his solo career in 1991.
His song "Livin' La Vida Loca" rose to the top of the music charts in 1999 and propelled Martin to stardom.
Martin said he decided years ago to not share "my entire truth" with the world because people he loved warned him that "everything you've built will collapse."
"Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage," he wrote. "Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions." …
Read complete article – CNN.com
Know thyself – Plato
This above all:
to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and
pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,'
when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then
you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye. - Luke 6:40-42
1997 Cardinal Ratzinger (Benedict XVI) Crackdown Religious Gay Supporters
March 1997 - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - New Ways Ministry Symposium - Pastor "Comes Out" - Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, ordained in 1979, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was pastor of Holy Family Parish, Sparta, Michigan USA and in March of 1997, I attended the New Ways Ministry Symposium, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where Dr. Richard Isay, Psychoanalyst and Professor of Psychiatry of Cornell University Medical School, gave the keynote address. I was absolutely stunned just how closely I was able to personally identify with Dr. Isay’s description of the different stages of early childhood psychological development and the harm caused to children by the influence of harsh anti-gay societal and religious norms who grow up to be gay. From clinical studies, adult gay men remember feeling "different" at young as 4 and 5 years of age. This feeling "different" was identified as the natural experience of a child's sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual...
October 8, 1997, Cardinal Ratzinger, judged that the statements on homosexuality made by Father Nugent and Sister Gramick, [cofounders of - New Ways Ministry] through the procedure of the Regulations for Doctrinal Examination, were in fact erroneous and dangerous.
"Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers" is a statement that was issued in 1997 by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family.
October 1, 1997, Bishops Urge Parents of Homosexuals to Accept Their Children, Themselves, Church Teaching on Human Dignity By the US Catholic Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life released Always Our Children.
October 1, 1997, Bishops: Parents, love your gay children - By David Briggs, Associated Press writer
NEW YORK -- U.S. Catholic bishops are advising parents of gay children to put love and support for their sons and daughters before church doctrine that condemns homosexual activity.
June 1998, “Always Our Children” - revised by Cardinal Ratzinger - Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers, NCCB Committee on Marriage and Family, Third Printing, Revised, June 1998