"Gay" Elephant in the Catholic Living Room & Millions of Children Harmed Others Tortured & Killed - Human Sexuality Education Saves Lives

A continuation from: Vatican’s Antigay Teachings = Therapy + Prolonged Therapy - or - Makes Opponents to Marriage Equality + Gay Hangings

                          ...Again, to repeat, I mean no disrespect to anyone, particularly to Pope Benedict XVI. My one and only concern is for the well-being and safety of children that the harm that comes to them, because of the antigay teachings stops, immediately. We do not need to wait another 400 years, like it took for Galileo before action was taken. Not to add fuel to the fire, but if Catholic clergy were allowed to marry this would not take as long, because when it is your child's life that is threatened, you tend to move PDQ in achieving understanding and make needed changes. Because, as a parent, you are willing to talk to anyone and everyone to secure the well-being of your child and all children. Our Episcopalian family members in Christ have shown us the way that works for years and years, quite well. They have continual dialogues about these issues and many others topics besides just like any real family that values all its members, they make changes and protect all children. You will know that they are Christians by their love. Photo Read more 'Gay Elephant' Is Just the Tip of the Iceberg 

May 28, 2009 

Ability to Identify Problems

I love our Catholic family and all families.  Thank God for the Episcopalians, they appear to be functioning as a real family, moving forward in their love for everyone member. So often they will admit humbly "We have our problems, too."  However, maybe, that is the key, humility.  Having the humility to be able identify problems and the wiliness to work on them. This is different then the Vatican’s attitude there are no problems, "we are right and you are wrong" solves all problems, no further discussion is needed, case closed. 

The Episcopalians may at times feel the same way but their track record does not prove this out to be true. Their example has been one of dealing with the real tough issues about human sexuality, the importance of women clergy and bishops equal to men, and the acceptance of gay clergy. Now, likely not all Episcopalians agree with the changes that have been made. However, the Episcopalians who were in positions of leadership took their responsibility seriously. Apparently, they did not refused to dialogue, but did so endlessly, as reported in the news media accounts. Likely, they spent many, many long hours in prayer in groups and alone, but as hard as it must have been they did moved forward trying to be Christ to all. Their track record is one of trying to be loving and inclusive of all their members, indeed of everyone. They lead the way in trying to being a functioning family. There are other Christian denominations along with or not far behind, however, the Vatican and many Catholics who blindly follow are in the rear, I am sorry to say not just because of their ignorance and treatment towards LGBT people but other groups of people, as well. They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another. No one has ever been given a license to hurt anyone. No matter who you are or what office you hold, it is the one great equalizers that everyone is held to, to love everyone with no exceptions.  

The Dysfunction – Willful Ignorance of Human Sexuality

This helps us to see how the Vatican and many Catholics are a dysfunctional family with a "gay" elephant in the living room and pretending the "gay" elephant does not exist. The dysfunction in the Catholic family is the willful ignorance regarding human sexuality.  It appears we are repeating history, similar to Galileo, insisting the sun revolves around earth. Today, the Vatican and many Catholics are insisting that there is only one sexual orientation, which is heterosexual, in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Photo

The problem is not the “gay” elephant; the problem is not admitting that the “gay” elephant is real, exists, is created and loved by God.  Though similar to any dysfunctional family, who has a member of the family who is an addict, like an alcoholic, no one is willing to talk about it; everyone pretends not to see how the alcoholic’s behavior is significantly disrupting the life of each member of the family.  

No Dialogue About Human Sexuality

The dysfunction of the Catholic family is the willful ignorance about human sexuality, pretending there is no problem and therefore there is no need to dialogue. This has been demonstrate publicly, by the Vatican and the hierarchy that they are absolutely unwilling to dialogue about any aspect regarding human sexuality and preferring to remain silent. "What problem?!?" Those priests and sisters who persist that there are problems are silenced and removed, even if they speak out for the protection of very young children. This kind of entrenched attitude in the Vatican, which is accepted among many Catholics without question, gives their approval of the Vatican's actions by their silence. They share the responsibility for the harm caused by the Vatican and the hierarchy to innocent children and adults. 

C  o  l  l  u  s  i  o  n

Silence, is a form of collusion, a silent agreement. This is what allowed the child sexual abuse to continue globally for many decades in the past. Catholics never questioned the behavior of clergy or hierarchy, instead they firmly and blindly believed that these "men of God" would be like Christ and be most protective of children. However, to the world's surprise this was not the case. In ways it was even more shocking than 9/11 over time, because there were continuous years of ongoing news media reports of the endless number cover-ups of child sexual abuse victims that stretches far into the past. No one has to get mean to ask the question "Why?"  Why did this happen? How did this happen?  There is no open dialogue with the Vatican and the hierarchy as to why this was allowed to happen to children for so long?  Nor is there any dialogue on how these victims and parents of these victims who came forth to informed the bishops and cardinals in charged about the sexual abuse, how they in turn were mistreated, intimidated, even threatened in order to maintain their silence. Why? 

The best example I know about that can meet this goal and not remain silent comes from the parents of Fortunate Families. There is not any anger or meanness, just a parent requesting from their local bishops and cardinals to dialogue about human sexuality for the safety of their children and for all children. Fortunate Families have started a new program to begin dialogue with parents to break the silence, it is called Listening Parents Network. Tony Blair, one of the major world leaders, asked Pope Benedict XVI to dialogue about the issues of homosexuality. Pope Benedict XVI did not publicly respond to Mr. Blair's request nor agreed to dialogue, but since then Pope Benedict XVI has not made any cruel public statements against homosexuals or transgender people. Do not underestimate the effectiveness of human contact that LGBT people, their parents, families members and friends of LGBT people can make. Fr. Farrow and myself came out, as gay priests, because we were willing to listen to many, many, many LGBT people and their parents. We heard the struggles and the pain.  It is very hard to turn your back on human beings who you have met and talked with. I think that Fortunate Families offer the best way to achieve change, without meanness, just by asking to talk.   Photo

Maybe, now, we as Catholics can begin to see the extreme importance of dialogue. Dialogue is a good thing on all topics, often and with everyone. There is plenty of research that bares this out to be true. However, research also bares out other facts such, as most people do not want to hear or be bother with unpleasant news. However, Jesus warns all Christians that unless we care for the least among us, we will not enter into the kingdom. "Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me. These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." Matt: 25, 31-46 and Luke 9:48 

Marriage Equality

Is About LOVE

 The issue of Marriage Equality is only the tip of the iceberg!  As adults, we can only now realize that it does not matter what the sex is of any two people in love.  The only thing that matters is how much they love each other.  And if they are able to love each other so much so that they want to be legally married to each other that is the deciding factor, not their gender or sex.  The whole world benefits from two people being in love and want to be married.  

SILENCE On Human Sexuality

Lacking

Compassion & Empathy 

Fr. Geoff Farrow was, I believe, the first on ABC TV, October 5, 2008 to state when LGBT youth, young adults and adults come to the Catholic Church to ask about sexuality all they hear is “silence.”  This is so sadly true, cruel and damaging to the human spirit of a person coming to a place he or she believes where God will help direct them. Believe it or not there are priests who do not abuse anyone.  Who also believe that they have a grave responsibility being a priest, which they do not take likely. Maybe the Vatican and the hierarchy can remain silent to people because they have been so far removed, for years from the day-to-day schedule of a parish priest working with people of all ages. And considering the documented accounts in the news media regarding the child sexual abuse victims, the culture among those in the Vatican and the hierarchy seems one that is not responsive to the important of human life, especially of children. An understanding of this culture makes it easy to understand the lack of responsiveness they have for people in general, lacking sufficient compassion and empathy to protect children is quite low indeed.  

Coming Out As A Gay Priest

 To Stop Harm To People 

However, Fr. Farrow was very right, stating as his reasoning for coming out as a gay priest that there comes a time when you have to do what your informed conscience tells you what is the right thing to do, even if it means you will lose your position as a priest and it will cost you dearly.  This is especially true knowing the culture of the Vatican and the hierarchy, as described above. Any responsible human being would do the same; because when the innocent lives of human beings are at risk, there is no other choice, human life come first! However, I also agree with his sentiments that he expressed he had before he made his decision to come out, “Oh, how I wish that it wasn’t me.” He was right that it should be some bishop or cardinal or a pope, but not a lowly priest.  I have told people that to come out, as a “gay” priest is sure death in light of the Vatican culture. Your life will never be the same, except you will have peace of mind and that is worth everything. Because without that kind of peace you are as St. Paul tells us a “noisy gong or a clanging cymbal,” a nothing. How can you turn your back on human beings, especially, young people who come to, a priest, for guidance with all the sincerely you can possibly imagine? Photo 

Have Never Met Fr. Farrow 

I must state here that I have never met or talked to Fr. Farrow.  I admire his courage and his continual work for Marriage Equality, from a true perspective of what it means to be Catholic, he is doing a very fine job. Any true perspective from any Christian denomination is exactly the same it is about being Chirst to everyone, in short it about being close to the fullness of what it means to love. I only became aware of Fr. Farrow when he came out on Sunday, October 5, 2008.  People often mistakenly think that because you are a priest you must know all priests. We came out for different reasons.  Fr. Farrow came out because of Prop 8 in California for Marriage Equality 2008. I came out because the harm cause to children who are raised in social environments influenced by antigay social and religious norms and grow up to be gay (LGBTQ), 1997. Through our reasons for coming out as “gay” priests are different, the central issue is the same. The central issue is a truthful and factual understanding about human sexuality both from scripture and theology on the one side and from science and clinical research on the other.  Not having ever talked to Fr. Farrow, I would assume that from this background understanding of human sexuality, which he expressed in an interview that he knew, there is no way, as I found that anyone could pretend you do not know the truth about human sexuality and what you needed to do as a priest. 

Marriage Equality

Tip Of The Iceberg  Extremely Essential 

I said that the issue of Marriage Equality is only the tip of the iceberg, meaning that the harm to human being regarding sexual orientation does not begin with Marriage Equality.  It starts for many from just about the time of birth and early childhood being the crucial years and then continues onward for the rest of a person’ life. This harm happens to those children who are raised in social environments influenced by antigay social and religious norms and grow up to be gay (LBGTQ). This information is documented with research studies. 

The reason why Marriage Equality is so important, for the most oblivious reason two people who are in love want to form and, for many others, have formed a life together. They deserve the dignity and reverence of any loving relationship and to be sanctioned and validated by church and state, nothing less. It is called plain human respect for another human being! How we validate this type of relationship is by honoring it with all legal protection and civil benefits that comes with any marriage. To speak of anything less than marriage is more demeaning of the person who would suggest it and of the importance of love.  As a priest, I understand marriage as sacred and it is sacrilege to suggest anything less than marriage for two people in love, regardless of sex or gender.     

The Rest of The Iceberg 

Human sexuality does not begin with adults wanting to get married. It begins even before we are born. Human sexuality is how we begin bonding as human being from birth. Having a clear factual understanding about human sexuality is essential in raising a child.  A parent’s erroneous understanding of human sexuality can severely harm a child for life. I explain in more detail the importance of early childhood psychological development in the posting Sexual orientation is less about sex and more about love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory

 The Iceberg of Human Sexuality 

Marriage Equality is important for children who grow up to be LGBTQ, to be able to have an adult mirroring image of life together with someone of the same sex.  This is not as important for the child to know or see this mirroring image but it is for the parents if they are the caretakers of the child. Because it gives “hope” back to a child who is LGBTQ that some day it will be permissible for she or he have the valid right to expect to meet someone she or he will want to fall love with and build a life together.  In psychoanalytic terms this is a child.  Depriving a child of this most basic human form of human attachment several threatens all other attachments in the child’s life from careers, to self-care and most especially human respect for others.  This is the iceberg of human sexuality it starts even before birth. Photo 

Harm Of Ignorance Of Human Sexuality 

Marriage Equality is a huge opportunity to teach Christian people the facts about human sexuality.  Because their ignorance is about human sexuality is severely harms children and kills youths and adults around the world.  Most importantly it ultimately hurts them in several ways.  To begin with Marriage Equality is dealing for the most part with only the human sexuality continuum that of sexual orientation. There are others, which will help to explain lot of confusing issues surrounding human sexuality. 

Another very important reason why it essential to educated all people about human sexuality not just Christians is because people’s ignorance of about human sexuality allowed people in power to use “Gay Marriage” to win elections ("Beauty & the Beast" villagers incited to kill the Beast).  It was use in a way quite similar to the story about “Chicken Little.”  “Gay Marriage” was used to scare and distract people from the important issues for the American people.  People's ignorance of human sexuality allowed powerful  wealthy people to get into government offices.  Once in positons of power, they were able to rob the middle and poor classes of Americans and around the world.  These powerful people knew the middle and poor classes of people could not fight back and left us all in the present economic situation we are in right now. This is slightly over simplified but anyone would be hard pressed to disagree totally. 

So being for Marriage Equality is for being for bringing true love into the world a win win situation for everyone. California's courage and endurance for Marraige Equality is contagious and is speading thorughout the Nation.  They and others send reminders back of the first martyrs to the Christian faith, who stood for love, too and were tortured and killed for it.  Now, it is the many Christians along with Pope Benedict XVI and the hierarchy doing the torturing and killings of innocent people who want to bring more love into the world. 

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Related Links:

Dignity USA

Walking With Integrity 

Fortunate Familes