A number of times I've had straight men notice my wedding ring and ask if I'm married. I'll say, "Yes," because I am. When he asks my wife's name, I pleasantly correct him and tell him that I'm married to a man whose name is Mike-who is my husband.
Often, the guy steps back and immediately exclaims, "Dude, I'm not gay!" He may then proceed to ask, "Why did you tell me you're gay?" as if I had a sexual motive. He might even freely tell me he was "grossed out" by the idea of my "wanting" him. Now, I never implied that he was gay by telling him I was, nor did I have any ulterior motive. I was simply correcting him for thinking that I am straight and married to a woman.
When people wish me a Merry Christmas. I nicely tell them I am Jewish; whereupon they usually respond politely by saying, "Oh, sorry! Happy Hanukah!" I've never seen anyone back away, exclaiming, "Dude, I'm not Jewish! Now all I can do is imagine you in a yarmulke in synagogue and I'm grossed out. You're trying to convert me?"
This story is an example of homophobia. In the late 1960s, George Weinberg coined the term homophobia for "the feeling(s) of fear, hatred, disgust about attraction or love for members of one's own sex"; the word first appeared in print in 1969. Then, as now, some fear associating with lesbians and gays-physically, mentally, and emotionally-lest one be perceived as "one of them." Fears of venturing beyond accepted gender-roles can afflict even lesbians/gays, though straight men are typically more homophobic.
Related links:
Single, Angry, Straight Male... Seeks Same?
A classic study reveals that young homophobic men have secret gay urges
By Jesse Bering – January 30, 2009 - Scientific American – read more
Does “internalized homophobia” still matter? - The Sexual Continuum - Dr. Brian Mustanski – read moreSexual Prejudice - Understanding Homophobia and Heterosexism - by Gregory M. Herek, Ph.D. – read more
The Closet: Psychological Issues of Being In and Coming Out - By Jack Drescher, M.D. – read more
Ignorance about human sexuality is harmful to children.
“Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.” Erik Erikson
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment