This posting is the seventh part of a larger one and was sent out as a US group mailing prior to posting here on the Thalamus Center.
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
COMING OUT and NEW BEGINNINGS
May 20, 2009 – updated 3/12/12
The very first person I was able to “come out” to was a Trappist Abbot, who I visited yearly, some 3000 miles away from where I lived. I came out to him just before I was to enter the monastery. The Abbot was shocked that I thought being "gay" was something bad, “Who said you were Bad!” He said, "Why it is a 'gift' from God!!!" Then I was in shock. It was not the response I had expected. I was completely confused. Disappointed at first, however, "life" began there for me but ever so faintly but it was definite I was "different." The Abbot told me ever so kindly and reassuringly that I must, first, go back out into the world and come to appreciate all the blessings that come with being "gay."
At that time, I could not even imagine being "gay" in any positive light. But I trusted the Abbot's wisdom, his sincerity, his genuine empathy for another human being and his care for me. It was not until several years later and my fifth therapist that I began to normalize to the truth about myself that I was indeed “gay.” It was at Affirmations, Ferndale, MI that I really noticed my life beginning. There were several more years of acclimating that I had to go through before I realized that I was at peace with myself and the anger I wore like a coat had greatly dissipated. All that energy trapped in suppressing the fact I was “gay” for years and years was turned loose. I went back to school now in by mid 40's. I was simultaneously enrolled taking classes at both Aquinas College, Grand Rapids, MI and the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI at the same time, all while being a full time pastor in Grand Rapids, MI (Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI) and teaching High School and 3rd grade religion classes. Without all that anger eating me up inside I came "alive" for the first time in my life! I felt like that song "But Alive" from the Broadway musical “Applause
A L I V E
Initially this led to a host of new problems being out with my priest-friends. Instead of bursts of anger, now in my mid 40's and sober I'd have these uncontrollable bursts of energy to breakout into dancing and swinging from street lamp posts all up and down Yonge St. in Toronto, singing "I'm alive!!! I'm alive!!! --- Surprisingly, I even had some spontaneous crowd participation shouting back "And we're glad you are!" Even that I could hear for the very first time in my life and believe they meant it, because I was acting so obnoxiously ridiculous in public. Without all that anger blocking my hearing…
I could actually hear love,
for the first in my life and
appreciate the feeling of affection, and
not feel the immediate need to run away.
The Real
S A I N T S
All the while I was feeling so much better I constantly felt so indebted to the people who came out before me, for their parents and friends who supported them, because they all paved the way for people like me to come out in much safer and better environments then they did. Their gift to us was to experience what it truly feels like to be alive and to be able to love and be loved without fear and without guilt. They were for me the real saints; I was so astonished and admired their courage and love for humanity. It was all quite unbelievable that the world was filled with such wonderful people, risking their lives for people, people they do not even know. Now, this was quite a significant realization to have, being a priest. Maybe I was thinking that they were truly the real priesthood making the world a better place for everyone, simply because they were willing to be honest about themselves, and that truth meant everything and was valued. And this is evil?!? I don’t think so! They were more like Christ out for everyone. Now that is what it means to be gay! No anger!!!!!!! And everyone is important!!!!!!!!! Just a slice of heaven!!!!!!!!!
Read more:
For Those Who Are Against Marriage Equality
Methinks They Doth Protest Too Much
I think that this is true of everyone more than most people know. So, when I run into people who are so angry about Marriage Equality I have an immediate flashback to the time that I had all that anger. I then have to ask where is all their anger coming from. “Me thinks They Doth Protest Too Much.” And who is doing the most protesting? It sure does help to see clearly when you remove the plank in your own eye, first. It does not make any sense for some people, clergy, hierarchy and pontiffs to be so so angry about Marriage Equality, because nobody is interested in marrying them. It almost has the makings of a real classic musical comedy Broadway Show if it wasn't my life and so tragic the abuse they are causing to innocent children around the world, youth suicides and killings of adults. In the end it is just about "being mean" for the sake of "being mean", being as cruel as anyone can be to another human being. I guarantee they will find absolutely no peace of mind. Because they have never known it in their lives, otherwise they could not be so inhuman to fellow human beings, especially to children worldwide. Their lives will remain filled with only anger and depression and with not even a hint of love. This is likely because no one considered their feelings when they were children growing up and being part of the 90% of those who have some degree of homosexual orientation mixed with their heterosexual orientation. Maybe this is why Jesus said to his real and true followers the rule about the plank and speck.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's [sister's] eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother [sister], 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's [sister's] eye." Matt 7:3-5
We are more alike than we are different from one another. The way to check this out is by checking out who is angry about Marriage Equality. If they are absolutely 100% heterosexual what and how would they know anything about homosexuality? Where are they getting their information? Many questions to be answered if their anger will allow them to.
I found that the true heterosexuals are clueless about homosexuals expressions of love and they have absolutely no anger towards homosexuals, especially people they never met and do not know. They tend to be genuinely interested about what life is like for them, but no anger. They tend to connect on the issues about what it is like to fall in love with someone.
My only concern is to stop the abuse to innocent children who are defenseless and powerless to protect themselves. I would hope this was first and foremost everyone's concern. First, intelligently and thoroughly make sure, as God wants us to, if kids are safe, before speaking harmful words.
The Bible and Being
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
I learned from my studies in psychology and my personal therapy that sexual orientation is a natural development of a being human and therefore cannot be considered a sin against God. This is where my guilt began, as far back as when I was a child. From further studies of those like from Daniel Helminiak, STL, PhD, PhD, LPC regarding "Does the bible condemn homosexuality?" I learned that it does not. I was experiencing a different kind of strong feeling that of needing to be protective of children when I realized through studies, therapy and my "coming out" that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age know that they are different not gay but that they do not fit in. This "different" and "not fitting in" are the effects of antigay influences experienced as a child. These same children grow up to be gay.
Realizing how long it took me to "come out" in my 40's I could not even think of putting even one child through what I went through. All that wasted time, years, opportunities for life and love lost! I came out publicly, in 1997, to draw attention to this kind of harm caused to children who grow up to be gay raised in social environments influenced by antigay social and religious norms. They are our tomorrows!!! They are loved and watched by God. NO ONE EVER SHOULD HARM A CHILD!
Social Influence: Norms & Conformity
Sexual orientation is not the only continuum that makes up the complexity of human sexuality, there are others. However, allowing the powerful effects of social norms that are ignorant about human sexuality to continue out of fear only perpetuates the harm to generation after generation. The powerful strength of social norms to influence a person or a whole group of people should not be underestimated, as demonstrated by this video clip from Allen Funt's "Candid Camera."
Social norms can be so powerful that they can get entire groups of people to agree to go against truth and logic. This video clip is quite humorous. But it is not humorous the kind of serious harm caused to very young children and the life threatening situations even death to many others that is promulgated and perpetuated through the ignorance and fear of social norms not based on truth and facts regarding complexity of human sexuality. Read more
The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil
By Philip Zimbardo - Stanford University
“Rather than providing a religious analysis, however, I offer a psychological account of how ordinary people sometimes turn evil and commit unspeakable acts.”
The Power of Norms and Groups on Individuals:
Candid Camera "Face The Rear"
Whenever I enter an office-building elevator, I automatically turn and face front, do not make eye contact with other passengers, stop talking or speak only in hush tones to a companion. Are these my personal preferences or idiosyncrasies? Hardly, since most people in most elevators behave similarly. Those actions tell you little about me but a lot about the unspoken rules of public elevators. Why do we do it? Unlike signs forbidding us to smoke or advising us what to do in case of a fire, nothing in any elevator says we should act in these strange ways. Our behavior is under the control of unwritten social rules, implicit norms, which govern appropriate elevator demeanor.
We can test if such situational rules are in silent force by violating them and seeing what our own and others' reactions will be. The reactions will be either of distress or laughter at the apparent violation of these unwritten expectations. One of the most popular scenarios in the long history of Alan Funt's ingenious Candid Camera programs is "Face The Rear." An elevator is rigged so that after an unsuspecting person enters, four Candid Camera staff enter, and one by one they all face the rear. The doors close and then reopen; now revealing that the passenger had conformed and is now also facing the rear. Doors close and reopen, and everyone is facing sideways, and then face the other way. We laugh that these people are manipulated like puppets on invisible strings, but this scenario makes us aware of the number of situations in which we mindlessly follow the dictates of group norms and situational forces…
Read more: By Philip Zimbardo - Stanford University
Parallels Between the Stanford Prison Experiment and Milgram’s Obedience Research
Power of Social Norms
Social Psychology
M U S T * P R O T E C T * C H I L D R E N
When I realized that the guilt that I had nearly all my life never had to be there or all that therapy, time and money spent. I experienced an unsettling feeling of frustration of injustice and truth that something positive has to be done to keep children safe. The criminal lack of responsibility to protect children by the Vatican and the hierarchy woke up in me this strong moral obligation that children must be protected.
The Vatican and the hierarchy believe they are (a) justified that they are not obligated to compensate people for the lifetime of harm that they have caused beginning as far back as children. In addition, (b) they are not stopping this kind of harm caused to children.
(1) How are the Vatican and the hierarchy any different than the tobacco companies who were made to be responsible to pay for the harm they caused their consumers?
(2) How can the Vatican and the hierarchy be allowed to continue to emphatically instructed people that they must believe the Vatican's antigay teachings in order to save their souls, which has been proven to cause life threatening harmful effects (see, Family Acceptance Project, “Pray Away the Gay”, "Suicide Prevention Among LGBT Youth").
(3) How can the Vatican and the hierarchy not be held accountable for the harm they caused and are still causing, especially when it involves the lives of innocent children, who have no voice and are powerless to protect themselves? Catholics love their faith and remain faithful, but children must be protected against the life threatening effects caused by antigay teachings and therefore cannot remain silent.
(4) How can antigay teachings that cause this kind of child abuse, impacting youth suicide rates, and contributing to the torture and killings of LGBT people be allowed to continue, in the name of religion?
(5) Tony Blair has been the only World Leader who has spoke out, April 2009 to end this violent harm caused by the Vatican and the hierarchy's antigay teachings. Mr. Blair speaks out again after Benedict XVI attacks gay people.
Pope denounces gay marriage lobby to US bishops, 3/9/12
Blair takes on the Pope by backing gay marriage, Mar.11, 2012
Tony Blair has defied the Pope by making clear he "strongly supports" plans for gay marriage, The Independent on Sunday has learnt. The former prime minister, a Catholic since 2007, backs proposals by David Cameron for a new law allowing homosexuals to marry.
A consultation on gay marriage to be launched later this month has met fierce opposition from senior figures in the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England.
On Friday, Pope Benedict XVI urged Catholics to block the "powerful political and cultural currents seeking to alter the legal definition of marriage".
(6) Since 2009 there has been a number of people in government in the USA and the UK – it is most encouraging – knowing that their courage is helping to protect children around the world. But still many more voices are needed to join them to protect our kids.
J.K. Rowling in her Commencement Address, June 5, 2008, at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association spoke about her work at Amnesty International in London and how she witnessed the horror of the inhumanity that innocent people suffer in the world. She spoke of the positive effect of "The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners." But she also spoke about the real horror,
Recently, from the United Kingdom the Royal College of Psychiatrists announced that they share “the concern of both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association that positions espoused by bodies like the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) in the United States are not supported by science. There is no sound scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Furthermore so-called treatments of homosexuality as recommended by NARTH create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish.
The Royal College of Psychiatrists holds the view that lesbian, gay and bisexual people should be regarded as valued members of society who have exactly similar rights and responsibilities as all other citizens. This includes equal access to health care, the rights and responsibilities involved in a civil partnership, the rights and responsibilities involved in procreating and bringing up children, freedom to practice a religion as a lay person or religious leader, freedom from harassment or discrimination in any sphere and a right to protection from therapies that are potentially damaging, particularly those that purport to change sexual orientation.
In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association concluded there was no scientific evidence that homosexuality was a disorder and removed it from its diagnostic glossary of mental disorders.” The International Classification of Diseases of the World Health Organisation followed suit in 1992. Read more
Love The Church
And
C A N N O T * R E M A I N * S I L E N T
About
C h i l d * A b u s e
I am not against the Catholic Church or the Vatican, it is because of my strong faith that I am for keeping innocent children safe from all life threatening harm and not remain silent. How can anyone remain silent when the innocent lives of children, who have no voice and are powerless to protect themselves are threatened? The Vatican and the hierarchy have already proven their lack of responsibility of protect children from decades of ongoing child sexual abuse, how can we allow this form of child abuse caused by their antigay teachings to continue? When it comes to Judgment Day, we will all be held accountable of how well we protected the lives of innocent people and most particularly defenseless children. Will we be excused for our sin of omission by saying we were only following orders? How well are we following Christ's one command that he gave us all?
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men [women] will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13: 34-35
The Judgment
But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.
Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, “Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?” The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers [sisters] of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'
Then He will also say to those on Hi s left, “Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.” “Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' "Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." Matt: 25, 31-46
How To Protect Children?
With
Every Voice Helping
Changes have to be made to protect children this is first and foremost in the mind of God, as we learn from the Gospels. Fortunate Families have already suggested practical ways to address protecting children in a very Christ like manner. Every voice makes a difference in making this a safe world for children! Fortunate Families set as their goal dialogue, not confrontation. They hope to motivate people “to encourage and challenge their bishop(s) to dialogue with Catholic LGBT persons, with their Catholic parents and other family members, and with Catholic pastoral ministers who minister with both of these groups.”
Fortunate Families are concerned parents of LGBT children and they work endlessly to foster changes that will make the world a safer place not only for their children but for all LGBT people. They are dedicated to working within the Catholic Church to help foster change at the very foundation of Catholic teaching. They are continuing the work that began in 1997 when the USA Bishops released their document “Always Our Children.” It was the first document from the Catholic Church that was moving in a positive direction concerning LGBT people and they are holding the bishops accountable to their words.
Research supports that dialogue with people, such as LGBT people, parents, families and ministers helps to stop the depersonalization that takes place, which allows for inhuman treatment of innocent people to flourish uncheck. It is far more difficult to mistreat people you have met and have taken the time to know, than people you have never met. Fortunate Families have not taken on an easy goal but one that has been proven to produce long lasting effective changes. As parents of LGBT children you can well understand their fearless efforts to protect their children not just for today but far into the future.
Catholic groups are understandably mistrusted considering the antigay atmosphere that is so often found in the news regarding the Catholic Church. However, as national statistics have shown that not all Catholics in "good conscience" can be supportive of the antigay teachings and work continuously for reform. Fortunate Families is such a group. I would suggest a visit to their website and learn more. Fortunate Families are able to help educate people about LGBT issues in the Catholic Church, which is the most effective way to change attitudes. Considering that the most opposition to Marriage Equality comes from Christians who have never known LGBT people, Fortunate Families are in the front lines initiating change in favor of all LGBT people. Read more
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, M.Div., M.S.
Property of MS Kurylowicz, May 2009
WEDNESDAY, MAY 20, 2009
Listening Parents Network -- Fortunate Families
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
Read more:
“If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Mt 6:23 | Benedict XVI – “Light of the World” | Hitler – “Mein Kampf” | NARCISSISTIC BULLY | WORLD REMAINS SILENT - 12/4/10
Catholics Coming Out - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz & Ricky Martin - March 29, 1997, 2010 - Leading Support Gay Marriage - NY Gov Cuomo & Vatican Attacks – March 29, 2011
Ricky Martin says he's 'a fortunate homosexual man'
By Alan Duke
CNN.com, March 29, 2010
LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Pop singer Ricky Martin declared publicly this week what he avoided discussing for years: He is gay.
"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Martin wrote on his official Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am."
…Now, Martin wrote, "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed."
The 39-year-old Puerto Rican native started off with the Latin boy band Menudo before launching his solo career in 1991.
His song "Livin' La Vida Loca" rose to the top of the music charts in 1999 and propelled Martin to stardom.
Martin said he decided years ago to not share "my entire truth" with the world because people he loved warned him that "everything you've built will collapse."
"Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage," he wrote. "Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions." …
Know thyself – Plato
This above all:
to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and
pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,'
when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then
you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye. - Luke 6:40-42
‘Self-knowledge’
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
‘Self-knowledge’ is commonly used in philosophy to refer to knowledge of one's particular mental states, including one's beliefs, desires, and sensations. It is also sometimes used to refer to knowledge about a persisting self -- its ontological nature, identity conditions, or character traits. At least since Descartes, most philosophers have believed that self-knowledge is importantly different from knowledge of the world external to oneself, including others' thoughts… These accounts have important consequences for the scope of mental content, for mental ontology, and for personal identity.
Repressive nature unacknowledged in a person - is colorless and depending upon the kind and degree of the intensity of the repression determine how brutally obsessive the need to control everyone else will be. Because it is an outward attempt to control one-self – in order to maintain our repression of whatever it is that frightens us. Mentally we can with great precision structure a dissociative state of existence from whatever it is inside of us that terrifies us. We are truly unaware that we have created a false reality. However, this also creates for us a painful implicit state of isolation from any form of true love, because all secure relationships are based on truth and honesty. Our true nature will not be allowed to come out, so long as we can maintain our state of dissociation, however, when it does come out it will be in some of the most bizarre, surreal and even dangerous ways. This is because it is like driving blind – we truly are not fully conscious of what we are doing.
Gary Ross’s Commentary on - Pleasantville (1998) DVD
But see that's just the point. It can't stop at once.
Because it's in you. And you can't stop something that's
inside you
Pleasantville (1998) movie script - by Gary Ross.
"At Last" by Etta James
(dialogue from the courtroom scenes at the end of the movie)
DAVID
You don't have a right to do this.
[There is a murmur in the courtroom. David continues.]
DAVID
I mean, I know you want it to stay "Pleasant" around
here, but, there are so many things that are so much
better: like Silly... or Sexy... or Dangerous... or
Wild... or Brief... And every one of those things is in
you all the time if you just have the guts to look for
them.
BOB
Okay -- that's enough!
DAVID
I thought I was allowed to defend myself.
BOB
You're not allowed to lie.
DAVID
I'm not lying.
(pointing…)
See those faces back there. They're no different than
you are. They just happened to see something inside them
that you don't want to look at…
BOB
THIS BEHAVIOR WILL STOP AT ONCE.
DAVID
But see that's just the point. It can't stop at once.
Because it's in you. And you can't stop something that's
inside you…
Pleasantville (1998) movie script - by Gary Ross
SEXUAL ORIENTATION is less about sex and more about Love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - LOVE & RELIGION - by Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - April 30, 2009
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times…
"He was part of my dream of course
but then I was part of his dream too."
Lewis Carroll "Through the looking glass"
Pope denounces gay marriage lobby to US bishops, 3/9/12
Pope Benedict XVI waded deep into U.S. campaign politics Friday, urging visiting U.S. bishops to beef up their teaching about the evils of premarital sex and cohabitation, and denouncing what he called the “powerful’’ gay marriage lobby in America…Benedict said there was an urgent need for Catholics in America to discover the value of chastity — an essential element of Christian teaching that he said had been subject to unjust “ridicule.’’
B16, Hierarchy & Blind Followers –
Need Stop Unjust “Ridicule” Value of HONESTY & CHARITY
Child Sexual Abuse Cover-ups & God’s Gift of Homosexuality
The Psychology of the Closeted Individual and Coming Out – 2007
by Jack Drescher, M.D.
Many LGB individuals report developmental histories with difficulty acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others. This is because, starting in childhood, LGB individuals are often subjected to antihomosexual attitudes, not only from strangers, but also from their own families and communities (Drescher, Stein and Byne, 2005). The childhood need to hide may persist into adulthood, leading many LGB individuals to conceal important aspects of themselves. There are a range of homosexual identities that describe an individual’s awareness and acceptance of same-sex attractions. Closeted individuals cannot acknowledge homoerotic feelings, attractions and fantasies to themselves. They cannot or will not integrate homosexuality into their public personae and these feelings must be dissociated out of conscious awareness.
…Some gay men, before coming out, were either gay-baiters or gay-bashers. To maintain a psychological distance from their own homoerotic feelings, they also exhibit dissociative tendencies. Attacking those perceived to be gay can serve several functions. One penile plethysmography study indicated that men with strong antihomosexual beliefs actually had significant homosexual arousal patterns (Adams, 1996). Interpersonally, strong antihomosexual feelings may represent an effort to control perceptions of a gay-basher’s own sexual identity. If they attack gay people, others will not think of them as gay…
UNIDENTIFIED - Internalized Homophobia – Devastating, and Horrific Consequences On Innocent Children - PERPETUATING GENERATIONS HATRED & VIOLENCE - 2010
Pope’s child porn 'normal' claim sparks outrage among victims
December 21, 2010
Blair takes on the Pope by backing gay marriage, Mar.11, 2012
Tony Blair has defied the Pope by making clear he "strongly supports" plans for gay marriage, The Independent on Sunday has learnt. The former prime minister, a Catholic since 2007, backs proposals by David Cameron for a new law allowing homosexuals to marry.
A consultation on gay marriage to be launched later this month has met fierce opposition from senior figures in the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England.
On Friday, Pope Benedict XVI urged Catholics to block the "powerful political and cultural currents seeking to alter the legal definition of marriage".
All tyranny needs
to
gain a foothold
is
for people
of
good conscience
to
remain silent.
What Can Catholics do Today to – Help Protect all Children?
GAY MARRIAGE – Catholic Truth ≠ Benedict XVI & hierarchy’s SPIN - Unsubstantiated Antigay Teachings & Disregard for Children – Silent Catholics COLLUDING w/B16 – Continually Hurting Kids!!! | One – Letter & Many – Copies | Anne Rice | PART 6
To be continued:
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Injustice anywhere is a
threat to
Justice everywhere
Martin Luther King
The Nobel Peace Prize 1964
Martin Luther King Jr.
What you cannot do is accept injustice.
From Hitler – or anyone.
You must make the injustice visible
– be prepared to die like a
soldier to do so.
Mahatma Gandhi
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
“Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”
…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6
Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
3 PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTS ABOUT GROWING UP GAY
A partial list:
1. Sexual orientation is set either just before birth or very soon afterwards
References:
Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality - American Psychological Association
The Science of Sexual Orientation - Researchers Focus on Twins (Video)
Attempts to Change Sexual Orientation
Sexual Conversion Therapies - by Jack Drescher, M.D.
Sexual Conversion Therapy - Ethical, Clinical and Research Perspectives (2002) -
edited by Ariel Shidlo, PhD, Michael Schroeder, PsyD, and Jack Drescher, MD
Sexual Orientation & ‘Reparative Therapy’
by Jack Drescher, MD – video
Bibliography for Facts about Sexual Orientation
Major - Medical and Mental Heath Associations
Policies & Position Statements - Regarding Sexual Orientation
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychiatric Association, AGLP
APSAA, American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Academy of Pediatrics
Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)
Gender Identity Research and Education Society - UK
National Association of School Psychologists
National Association of Social Workers
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States
2. Early psychological development – in a social environment that is anti-gay – causes significant harm to the child’s ability to be in relationships, with others, a job, etc.
References:
Sexual orientation is less about sex and more about love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - - LOVE & RELIGION
Attachment Theory
Mary Ainsworth: Attachment and the Growth of Love – video
ATTACHMENT THEORY - our first relationship with our carers acts as a LIFELONG TEMPLATE, moulding and shaping our capacity to enter into, and maintain, successful subsequent relationships with family, friends and partners...
Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
Jack Drescher, M.D. in his book Psychoanalytic Therapy & The Gay Man
describes the complexities related to growing up gay; from his research of developmental narratives of gay adults retrospectively recalling their feelings being gay began in early childhood. These gay feelings had remained constant, and were resistant to being altered. Dr. Drescher explains the contrast of how social norms impact the psychology of the early childhood developmental years of a heterosexual boy and a homosexual boy.
Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development – by Richard A. Isay M.D.
Argues that homosexuality is biologically innate, suggests a natural developmental path for homosexuals, and discusses the problems faced in long-term gay relationships
The overstimulation of everyday life: I. New aspects of male homosexuality
Sidney H. Phillips
Western New England Institute for Psychoanalysis, USA
J Am Psychoanal Assoc 49:1235-67. 2001
Western heterosexual culture surrounds the homosexually inclined boy in a climate of erotic overstimulation that powerfully affects his development and adult sexual adaptation. This assertion is illustrated through a case presentation of a homosexual man who shared a bed with his brother from childhood into adolescence. Analysis of the patient's transference enactment—repeatedly falling asleep on the couch—gradually revealed the psychic impact of this everyday overstimulation: the creation of a tantalized inner world of longing. The regular occurrence and developmental understanding of adolescent homosexual boys' unrequited love affairs with adolescent heterosexual boys are described and explored. Finally, the overstimulation of everyday life is proposed as a new model for understanding certain behavioral aspects of male homosexuality, such as the avoidance of rough-and-tumble play in childhood and homosexual cruising.
Homosexuality: coming out of the confusion
Sidney H Phillips
Int J Psychoanal 84:1431-50. 2003
In this paper, Dr. Phillips describes the complications of how the historical context of social norms can significantly influence the classification of the components of homosexuality by clinicians causing them to be blind to their own biases. Mindful of our susceptibility to this kind of phenomenon, Dr. Phillips calls to task these biases that pathologize homosexuality simply because it is not consistent with heterosexuality and therefore to be classified as a mental disorder. He offers an alternative description of homosexuality from his clinical research that is consistent with other researchers of early childhood psychological development of children who grow up to be gay.
The Psychology of the Closeted Individual and Coming Out – Jack Drescher, MD
Many LGB individuals report developmental histories with difficulty acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others. This is because, starting in childhood, LGB individuals are often subjected to antihomosexual attitudes, not only from strangers, but also from their own families and communities (Drescher, Stein and Byne, 2005). The childhood need to hide may persist into adulthood, leading many LGB individuals to conceal important aspects of themselves…Read more
Gay Conversion | Religious Conversion - Transforms the Damned into the Saved | COVERING - Kenji Yoshino – 2002 - The Yale Law Journal
Resource Links -- Conversion Therapy
Policy Statements of Professional Organizations
Rockway Institute - Alliant International University
3. Gay teen suicide – Family Acceptance Project - shows relationship between a lack of family acceptance of a gay child and the rate of substance abuse, suicide and others problems
References:
Groundbreaking Study Finds Family Acceptance of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Adolescents Protects Against Depression, Substance Abuse and Suicidal Behavior in Early Adulthood – by Caitlin Ryan, PhD, December 6, 2010 - FAMILY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT.
Dr. Caitlin Ryan: Reducing Risk and Promoting Well-Being for LGBT Youth: The Critical Role of Family Support – 2009 – podcast
Dr. Caitlin Ryan: Commitment, Intentionality, and Hard Work: What It Takes To Do Culturally Competent, Ground-Breaking Research 2010 – podcast
Family Acceptance Project™ website:
Dr. Caitlin Ryan – Mental Health Matters: How does the “Family Acceptance Project” work? – 2011
Family Acceptance Project™ - Helping diverse families understand how to support their LGBT children – videos
Family Acceptance of LGBT Youth Protects Against Suicide, Depression & Substance Abuse and Predicts Better Health & Self-Esteem
School Victimization of Gender-Nonconforming LGBT Youth Linked with Depression and Quality Of Life In Adulthood
Best Practice Guidelines for Serving LGBT Youth in Out-of-Home Care
Family Acceptance Project™ Resource Links:
San Francisco State University Related Programs
LGBT Family-Related Organizations
LGBT Youth Organizations
School-Related Resources
Gender-Related Resources
LGBT Legal Advocacy Organizations
Online Resources for LGBT Youth
Hotlines
Adolescent Health
National LGBT Organizations
LGBT Health-Related Organizations
Lesbian and Gay Youth: Care and Counseling - By Caitlin Ryan and Donna Futterman
UA professor Stephen T. Russell to Explore LGBT Suicide Risk – 2008
Homophobic families harm gay teenagers, study claims - 2008
Internalized Homophobia and Relationship Quality among Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals - David M. Frost and Ilan H. Meyer - 2009
Journal of Counseling Psychology 2009, Vol. 56, No. 1, 97–109
New Report Shows Inequalities for Children with LGBT Parents
Talking About Suicide & LGBT Populations - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Preventing Suicide among LGBT Youth by Effie Malley - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Homophobia Is Killing Our Youth – 2009
Gay Bullying Deaths and Religion: Are Believers the Problem or the Solution? 2010
For Many Gay Youth, Bullying Exacts a Deadly Toll – 2010
Gay bullying and Catholic responsibilities – 2010
Homophobia in the Church: What Catholics Are Doing About It, and What Still Needs to Be Done – 2010
“Most religious denominations continue to condemn homosexuality as sinful and
provide a rationale for marginalizing LGB people.” - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
Social Environment - Although the social environment itself has not been defined as a risk factor for suicide, widespread discrimination against LGBT people, heterosexist attitudes, and gender bias can lead to risk factors such as isolation, family rejection, and lack of access to care providers. Risk factors may interact in unhealthy ways—for example, internalized homophobia or victimization may lead to stress, which is associated with depression and substance abuse, which can contribute to suicide risk. This risk may be compounded by a lack of protective factors that normally provide resilience, such as strong family connections, peer support, and access to effective health and mental health providers…
Herek and colleagues (2007) describe a framework to understand the social environment for sexual minorities. The framework integrates the sociological idea of stigma with the psychological idea of prejudice. Through stigma, society discredits and invalidates homosexuality relative to heterosexuality. Institutions embodying stigma results in heterosexism, and heterosexual individuals internalizing stigma results in prejudice. The United States legal system has faced challenges by sexual minorities and sympathetic heterosexuals that have led to significant changes. However, the legal system continues to reinforce stigma through discriminatory laws and the absence of laws protecting sexual minorities from discrimination in employment, housing, and services. A minority of states had antidiscrimination laws as of 2005, and most of these only referred to employment and not to housing or services. Most religious denominations continue to condemn homosexuality as sinful and provide a rationale for marginalizing LGB people…
See no Race, See no Gay: What Proponents of a Gay-Blind Approach to Bullying in the Schools can Learn from Race Relations - by Kira Hudson Banks, Ph.D. and Nestor L. Lopez-Duran PhD,
2010 - Psychology Today
Bullying, gay teen suicides, and a need for a solution – 2010 - Nestor L. Lopez-Duran, PhD. - clinical child psychologist and researcher, University of Michigan
Bullies and Victims: Boys will be boys or a symptom of distress? 2009 -Child Psychology Research
http://www.child-psych.org/2009/10/bullies-and-victims-a-risk-for-psychopathology.html#comment-47375
The cruelties of STRUCTURAL VIOLENCE on CHILDREN are often subtle, unspoken, unrecognized, and even normalized, regarded by many people as natural or “just the way things are.” Daniel J. Christie - Peace, Conflict, and Violence:
Peace Psychology for the 21st Century.
Pope’s child porn 'normal' claim sparks outrage among victims -122110
Related links:
John Jay Report: On Not Blaming Homosexual Priests – 51711
"No public figure talks more about child safety but does little to actually make children safer than Pope Benedict" 112611
The New John Jay Report on Clergy Abuse in the Catholic Church – “The researchers conclude that there is no causative relationship between either celibacy or homosexuality and the sexual victimization of children in the Church.” 51811
Facts about Homosexuality and Child Molestation - Gregory M. Herek, Ph.D.
Roman Catholic Hierarchy child sexual abuse “cover-ups” ordered by Benedict XVI to avoid public outrage & criminal charges falsely accused gay priests, WATERGATE? – January 2, 2010
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