1997 Fr. Marty Kurylowicz “Coming Out” Focus on Science & Bible | PROTECTING - CHILDREN Growing up Gay - Lifetime harm caused by Ignorant Antigay Social & Religious Norms
1997 – FOCUSING ON CHILDREN was a dramatic focus shift from public focus of homosexuality exclusively limited to adult sexual behavior
(a) Caused an Immediate resonating almost calming effect with people
engaging deep interest eliciting serious pertinent questions
(b) – Nullifies Unsubstantiated Traditional Immorality of Homosexuality,
e.g. Vatican Antigay teachings,
(c) Major Threat to blindly accepted, unchallenged, ignorant – antigay social & religious norms
*****************************
(1) Research - Antigay religious norms – life threatening to children -
as young as 4 and 5 years of age
My name is Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, I came out March 1997 to my parishioners at Holy Family Parish, Sparta MI to draw public attention to help protect children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age who grow up to be gay – from the life long harmful effects and for many life threatening effects of being raised in antigay social environments made up of ignorant antigay social norms that are primarily influenced by unsubstantiated religious norms, e.g. the Vatican unsubstantiated antigay teaching, a major world religion. The Vatican antigay teachings are unsubstantiated, because they are not based on facts from either the bible or science.
(2) Scripture scholars - Bible does not condemn homosexuality
(3) Science research – homosexuality – natural human development
The bible does not condemn homosexuality anymore than the bible condemns Galileo. There are many passages in the bible that clearly state that the earth does not move, instead the sun moves. However, Galileo explained that it was the exact opposite, the sun does not move and the earth rotates round the sun. The Vatican condemned Galileo as heretic and placed Galileo under house arrest for 9 years. Nearly 400 years later, Pope John Paul II in 1992, stated that the Vatican was wrong and that Galileo was right. In 1997, from science through research and clinical studies of both the major medical and mental health associations it is overwhelmingly accepted that homosexual orientation is a natural part of human development.
(4) Facts - Science & Bible - Nullify all the Vatican antigay teachings
These facts alone nullify all the Vatican antigay teachings because like Galileo they are not based on credible facts from a variety of many different disciplines of study and research. Therefore it is imperative the Vatican immediately renounces all their antigay teachings because they are unsubstantiated and cause severe harm to very young children growing up gay around the world. The Vatican and in particular Benedict XVI will not face the truth about homosexual orientation and has relentlessly and obsessively after being elected pope - publically spoke against homosexuality - simply and arbitrarily discrediting any and all credible scientific facts regarding the truth about homosexuality. This behavior of Benedict XVI - begs the question, why? This is even more puzzling that being a great intellectual academic scholar and author of many books, he has not been able to give any details or credible documentation to explain his reasoning about homosexuality. Publically, this is a glaring discrepancy because at his intellectual level he expounds on numerous subjects, but with the frequency that he touches on more than any other that is the defining subject of his papacy, homosexuality he has the least to say about.
This was not the case with Pope John Paul II. As pope John Paul said little to nothing on the subject homosexuality because there was ample research data continuously forthcoming from science and scripture scholars suggesting a new understanding regarding homosexuality, sexual orientation, human psychological development, etc. John Paul II, as we know, believed the truth would be found with faith and science working together to come up with answers. It is noted that John Paul frequently met with the scientists at the Vatican, at least once a week to discuss issues of the day. The committee at the Vatican on the topic of homosexuality was made up of theologians and scientists, as was the case for many committees at the Vatican, at the insistence of John Paul. This was not the case when Benedict XVI became pope, almost immediately all the scientists were dismissed from all the committees in the Vatican and only theologians remained. Sources within the Vatican at the time were shocked and noticeably worried about the future credibility their work because the balance for the search for truth was thrown off giving a very one-sided view on issues, which is not objective truth - truth was lost. This is clearly seen in Benedict XVI’s and the hierarchy’s public statements on homosexuality. This appears to be the same mistake that the Vatican made when the pope then condemned Galileo. And as we know John Paul II apologized to Galileo stating the he was right and that the Vatican and the pope were wrong.
(5) Children 4 and 5 years of age – know “different” - Well Before
“Age of Reason”
Nullify Immorality of Homosexuality
When I came out in March 1997 the focus was on the fact that very young children, as young as 4 and 5 years of age knew in some fundamental way that they were “different” not gay, only later in life would they identify this being different as being gay. This point alone was highly significant because it threw the Vatican focus of homosexuality off of being entirely focused on adult homosexuals and moved it onto children in early childhood psychological developmental years. This switch in the focus immediately, almost in lightening speed, resolves major key issues regarding the morality of homosexuality, because this places our understanding of homosexuality, sexual orientation out of the adult world and places almost at the beginning of life - into the very early years of human development - well before the “age of reason” therefore; (1) homosexuality cannot be considered a conscious and willful choice to commit a terrible intrinsically disordered and evil act, (2) if not a choice, no sin is involved, (3) there is no adult sexual acts of any kind involved at this very young age in a child’s life, (4) sexual orientation at this stage is about the natural development of human attachment essential for survival and growth of a human being, and (5) human attachments are about “loving another and being loved by another” there is nothing intrinsically disordered or evil about love. These facts alone nullify, renounce all the Vatican antigay teachings as unsubstantiated and instead they are labeled as being severely harmful to the lives of children in their early childhood years, something on the order of the ancient practice of “foot binding.” These are research facts over years of study that were available in 1997 and have continued to develop through the years.
This is why my “coming out” 1997 was not a big issue about me personally. Because my reason and focus for “coming out” was on the vital importance of explaining the research data about sexual orientation existing in early childhood, in order to stop the severe harm caused to the children growing up gay by the ignorance of antigay statements that create hostile and violent antigay social environments that threaten a child’s very existence. After I came out the focus was off me and almost immediately forgotten, as I remembered back then to Holy Family Parish, Sparta, MI, when I began to explain to my parishioners these research facts. It did not take much, if any, convincing people because almost immediately they began to identify these facts in what seemed to be a flooding of specific past episodes and memories from their own personal individual lives, about kids they knew and grew up with, about themselves, their children, etc., etc. It was like it brought into focus much confusion in their past lives that seemed at first unsettling, but left them with a better sense of calm and a new more secure understanding about themselves that made sense that answered many old forever nagging unanswered questions – and left them with much less anger. And the fact that I came out was almost forgotten, their questions were not about me but about many various aspects of sexual orientation and early childhood psychological development.
I held for the next 7 to 8 following weeks, 3 classes a week on the topic of sexual orientation, each class running for 2 hours. The classes were open to all parishioners though registering before attendance was required (simply by calling the parish office) in order to limit the classes to only 20 people in each class for the sake of confidentially and we run as many classes along as people wanted to attend. Every class was filled and the classes lasted nearly 8 weeks.
After I came out the parish did not fall apart. There was no great exodus. The weekly and building fund collections did not drop. Maybe we seemed closer more united on a deeper level. I was schedule to be transferred before I came out in March 1997, my 12-year term, as pastor, at Holy Family Parish ended at the end of June of 1997. I must say it was much harder than I realized leaving that parish, so much so that even the thought of going back for a visit seemed unbearable - the joy of seeing everyone again would be great – but leaving them all again seemed unbearable. I think that something wonderful happened there maybe in a very small but significant way we helped to change the world for the better, especially for children. That’s a good thing!
The Major Problem “Coming Out” 1997 not Parishioners –
Was The Vatican
The major problem I faced in 1997 was not from the parishioners – it was from of all places the Vatican. It was 4 years prior to my “coming out” I had been enrolled at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI taking one class a semester, including the spring/summer semester, in psychology. I did this all while I was still being a pastor at Holy Family Parish in Sparta, MI commuting twice a week to Ann Arbor...It was at the University of Michigan that I studied the research data about sexual orientation, psychological human development, etc., as well as, at attending the yearly American Psychological Association conventions and attending regular meetings at PFLAG, Affirmations, Ferndale, MI and workshops/lectures sponsored by the U of M LGBT Office. My point is that I truly professionally studied the issues of sexual orientation thoroughly and was very well versed on much of the latest research data. Now after “coming out” to my parishioners and teaching 8 weeks of classes on sexual orientation - it was reported as being quite successful handling and educating people on the issue of sexual orientation.
I met with my bishop (which was not the present bishop Hurley) in May 1997 to hear the directives that were coming from the Vatican. I was, at first, quite shock, later I was even to the point of being somewhat frightened after hearing that I was to be sent away for several months (the location not having been disclosed) to be reeducated about sexual orientation and homosexuality. This was equivalent to reparative therapy, which is based on the concept that was debunked in the 1970’s by both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association that homosexuality was a mental disorder. Reparative therapy’s main objective is to attempt through intensive psychotherapy to change a person’s homosexuality. It was and is considered unethical because it has never been proven effective, instead it posed more serious, even dangerous threats to the psychological well-being of the person, even placing for some at even greater risk of attempting suicide. It has been noted that the mental disorders associated with homosexuals are primary those due to the stress of not being accepted, of being ridiculed and being under constant vigilance of being attacked verbally or physically and at times violently. It has been amply and duly noted that homosexuals who grow up in safe accepting social environments, experience no more mental disorders than their heterosexual counterparts.
Reeducated on Homosexuality - Reparative therapy
Reparative therapy by 1997 still had no evidence scientifically that proved it worked, in fact it was found to be harmful and it was being considered unethical and unsafe. The fact that the Vatican was unaware or dismissive of ample research data regarding homosexuality was deplorable, because the Catholic Faith is all about truth. Since, 1973, the term “homosexuality” was removed from the list mental and emotional disorders by American Psychiatric Association stating that sexual orientation is not a disorder; therefore, it does not need to be cured. The American Psychological Association stated. In 1990 that scientific evidence shows that reparative therapy does not work and that it can do more harm than good. “In 1991, Gerald Davison, a former president of the Association for the Advancement of Behavior Therapy, argued that conversion therapy (is the same as reparative therapy) is ethically improper and that its existence only confirms professional and societal biases against homosexuality.” In 1993, the American Academy of Pediatrics stated, "The psychosocial problems of gay and lesbian adolescents are primarily the result of societal stigma, hostility, hatred and isolation." In 1996, the National Association of Social Workers adopted a policy statement on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual issues. “…Sexual orientation conversion therapies assume that homosexual orientation is both pathological and freely chosen. No data demonstrate that reparative or conversion therapies are effective, and in fact they may be harmful.”
Therefore, Vatican’s directive was such a drastic contrast drop from the height of the intellectual level I was operating out of that (explained above) this news from the Vatican was startling – it was an unimaginable gigantic leap back in time passing even beyond the dark ages intellectually. While in my bishop’s office I did not say much at the time, I only wished that some of my colleagues from the APA, the U of M and news media could have heard this directive coming from the Vatican. I honestly could not even imagine what a sabbatical for several months on reeducating someone on homosexuality and sexual orientation would be like. It seemed like unnecessarily cruel and unusual treatment of all places by the Vatican.
My two earned sabbaticals including the funding were all canceled, which I was hoping to use up before accepting a new parish assignment. My possible future assignments in the Diocese of Grand Rapids that were offered to me before I came out were all eliminated. In a matter of one meeting, months after I came out and the news media hype had died down, my whole status in the Grand Rapids Diocese was gone. I no longer felt safe in the Grand Rapids Diocese, only the anxious pressure about what would happen next. At 47 years old, for me it seemed to be the beginning of the end.
Needlessly Already Spending a LIFETIME and Enormous Expense in Ineffective Reparative Therapy
Vatican directives were to send me back
No Civil Laws to Protect Gay Priests – From - Vatican Hostile & Inhuman Treatment
The thought of my being sent away to be reeducated about homosexuality and sexual orientation was disturbing to me on two counts: (1) it was then as it is now considered by the vast majority of professionals from both the medical and mental health fields as ineffective and dangerous to the individual well-being and (2) it seemed a most unnecessary and extremely cruel even inhumane ordeal for a place like the Vatican to be ordering a priest or anyone to submit to. It was for me even more unsetting, because I had already spent well over some 20 years trying through psychotherapy to reeducate myself on my being a homosexual – in attempts to be heterosexual. I learned only too well, at the age of 47, from the grueling experience of those past some 20 years in my deep earnest commitment faithfully believing what I had been told that reeducation/reparative therapy would work but it most assuredly does not. It had only compounded my depression in addition knowing I wasted those some 20 years for absolutely nothing. Even more unsetting was the fact when I learned that this was not my own personal bias, but that major medical and mental health associations agreed.
It was after further study and then learning the research facts that sexual orientation begins in early childhood, which struck me like bolt of lightening that March 1997 at the New Ways Ministry National Symposium listening to Dr. Richard Isay’s (just recently deceased) opening address explaining that children as young as 4 and 5 years of age know that they are different and that it is only as adults do they realize that being different was in fact being gay – that it all became the relentless motivating force that led to the moral obligation, as a Catholic priest to “come out” for the protection and well-being all children growing up gay. In good conscience I could not remain silent – I knew too much from my own personal experience to allow children suffer what I went through.
Character Assassination – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Being Punished and Humiliated For Being Faithfully Following
Vatican’s Unsubstantiated Antigay teachings
In a breach of confidentially the present bishop of Grand Rapids Walter Hurley (who had been working closely with then Cardinal Ratzinger, now Benedict XVI discriminating against gays as far back as 1987) disclosed to a news reporter from the Grand Rapids Press, May 2006, in an attempt that seemed to further discredit my reputation, the huge sum of money spent on my psychotherapy. However, this breach of confidentiality of Bishop Hurley backfired on him, because this huge sum would have been completely non-existence, as the documentation will prove, if I never had been raised in a Catholic antigay social environment that stressed the Vatican antigay teachings that are unsubstantiated. Also, this huge sum of money would have been greatly reduced, to far less than even 10% if I sought psychotherapy treatment outside of Catholic mental health agencies. The Vatican’s unsubstantiated antigay teachings have been proven to continuously perpetuate psychological harm. It took me an enormously long time to find this out – nearly enduring 4 decades of psychological harm because I blindly obeyed and believed them to be true and I can say emphatically that they are not true, but instead they are extremely harmful and even life threatening. I can say this after working endlessly acquiring a well-informed conscience based years of prayer, the needless years spent in psychotherapy and when I decided to no longer to follow blindly but on a postgraduate level of university academic studies to search for the truth, I found that the Vatican’s antigay teachings are unsubstantiated – instead they are life threatening.
Bishop Hurley Disclosure of Gay Priest Reparative Therapy
Psychological Expenses
CHARACTER ASSASSINATION – Vatican’ MO
Vatican Published Psychological Documentation of Ex-Bank President
It is interesting to note that Hurley’s confidentially disclosure of my psychological expenses appears to be the regular modus operandi of the Vatican. Because it is quite similar to the recent Vatican Bank scandal – where the Vatican published the psychological documentation of their ex bank president, which it is believed was meant to further discredit him because of threatening inside information he is believed to have would expose even more serious corruption in the Vatican.
Vatican’s - Vindictive Hostile Retaliation
In my letter above I explained I did not go away to be reeducated about my homosexuality and sexual orientation. I asked permission to study psychology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI – if I paid for it on my own, however, to do so I was told that I had to give up my regular priestly salary and find my own living arrangements including paying for it myself. But it must be explained that a priest salary is considerably lower because room and board is included. This presented an additional hardship for me. However, I thought given such a life threatening order by the Vatican - to be sent away to be reeducated on homosexuality and sexual orientation was so extreme – Needless to say, I was worried if I stayed – what other inhumane atrocities would I be subjected to. I guess you could say I was fleeing for my life. To get me to leave the priesthood was likely what the Vatican was attempting to force me to do. Again, the whole reason why I came out was because “I was a priest.” It is a priest’s duty to be willing to lay down his life for others, at least that is the theology of priesthood. True I had always hope the living up to that duty would not directly fall into my lap – but it did. I gave up everything I had to be a faithful priest – I realize that this does not mean much to many people – they can barely understand the concept, except for parents. And now Benedict XVI and Bishop Hurley simply want me to give up my clerical state, so much so that Hurley sent these important letters to me for my response but he sent them to the wrong addresses that are not my mailing addresses, even though I receive all other diocesan mail at my correct address. If wasn’t the recent Vatileaks and Vatican Bank scandals and Benedict XVI’s 30 years of child sexual cover-ups – people would be willing to give Hurley the benefit of the doubt – but in indeed we now know that this kind of deception is this rule of the Vatican and not the exception. I have absolutely no recourse – the only recourse I have if I still have it - is to make this all public and kill the secrecy of the Vatican – in hopes that people’s awareness will in some way reform the Vatican – make the protection of children the highest priority.
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Related Links:
Gay Catholic Priest – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz - Charged by the Vatican for “Coming Out” March 1997 - For the Protection of Children – 15 years later & President Obama’s letter of appreciation - 2012
SEXUAL ORIENTATION is less about sex and more about LOVE, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - - LOVE & RELIGION ---
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times.
http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2012/11/gay-marriage-sexual-orientation-is-less.html
Nothing in life is more precious than the intimate relationships we have with love ones. Healthy love relationships delight us give us confidence to take on challenges and support us in difficult times.
http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2012/11/gay-marriage-sexual-orientation-is-less.html
3 PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTS ABOUT GROWING UP GAY
http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2012/08/3-psychological-facts-about-growing-up.html
AUSCHWITZ -- CHRISTMAS 2008 -- A flashback far more severe than in --- BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
December 26, 2008 – Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Gay 1990s Studies - Pope John Paul II’s group of THEOLOGIANS and SCIENTISTS studying homosexuality – for better understanding and fuller acceptance – ended with Benedict XVI 2005
Do I reject my gay brother? Bishop Gumbleton - Homophobia - "Always Our Children" PBS 1999
Obama - ‘Changed Everything’ - Gay-Rights Backers See Progress in Year Since President Obama Backed Gay Marriage - 5/9/13
2012 - GAY MARRIAGE
Truth, openness, wins election vs. Deceit, secrecy, resigns papacy
Related news media & research links:
Benedict XVI & Bush 2003 against GAY MARRIAGE - Help Wins USA Presidential Election 2004 - A Well-informed Conscience - protects RELIGIOUS FREEDOM and NOT Tyranny in Religion 91212
Ratzinger, Reagan, Hunthausen and Gay Rights - 4/19/05
...Ratzinger's moves to undermine American bishops who sought to find a place in the church for gays and lesbians such as Archbishop Raymond Hunthausen of Seattle, who was also a leading critic of the Reagan administration's support for military juntas and death squads in Latin America...
Conflict in the Catholic Hierarchy: A Study of Coping Strategies in the Hunthausen Affair, with Preferential Attention to Discursive Strategies - by Timothy Peter Schilling - 2003
Sexual Repression and Pornography - Benedict XVI and the Vatican
Galileo facing the Roman Inquisition
Ecclesiastes 1:5 (New International Version)
5 The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
Ecclesiastes 1:5 (New American Standard Bible)
5 Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again.
1 Chronicles 16:30 (New International Version)
30 Tremble before him, all the earth!
The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
1 Chronicles 16:30 (New American Standard Bible)
30 Tremble before Him, all the earth; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved.
Psalm 93:1 (New International Version)
1 The LORD reigns, he is robed in majesty;
the LORD is robed in majesty
and is armed with strength. The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
the LORD is robed in majesty
and is armed with strength. The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
Psalm 93:1 (New American Standard Bible)
1 The LORD reigns, He is clothed with majesty; The LORD has clothed and girded Himself with strength; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved. Photo
Psalm 96:10 (New International Version)
10 Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns."
The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity.
The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity.
Psalm 96:10 (New American Standard Bible)
10 Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity." Photo
Psalm 104:5 (New International Version)
5 He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.
Psalm 104:5 (New American Standard Bible)
5 He established the earth upon its foundations, So that it will not totter forever and ever.
Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development
By Richard Isay, M.D., 1989, 2009
Chapter 2, Childhood and Early Homosexual Identity
My “coming out” story
Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
May 21, 2009
Injustice anywhere is a
threat to
Justice everywhere
Martin Luther King
The Nobel Peace Prize 1964
Martin Luther King Jr.
What you cannot do is accept injustice.
From Hitler – or anyone.
You must make the injustice visible
– be prepared to die like a
soldier to do so.
Mahatma Gandhi
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
“Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed,
well considered and yet fervent public conviction that
the most deadly of all
possible sins
is the mutilation of
a child’s spirit.”
…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6
Important note: No disrespect meant to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children.
Kids Are Being Hurt!!!
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