Fortunate Families – Newsletters 2010

Coming Home: A gay Christian speaks to fundamentalists

by Jonathan Odell. Commonweal, January 15, 2010

Last year I got a call from an administrator at a Midwestern seminary with a reputation for its “take no prisoners” conservative theology. He had permission to conduct a series of seminars on hot-button issues like abortion, stem-cell research, and gay marriage. His plan was to bring in a succession of speakers, one to take the pro side of an issue, followed by a second to present the opposing view.

I took a deep breath. I knew what was coming next. “We want you to take the pro side on homosexuality,” he said.

“Yippee,” I thought. “I get to argue for Satan.” So I asked him, “Why me?” Why me indeed.... Several years earlier I had given a reading on the same campus. It was from my novel. But I hadn’t come out as gay then, only as a Baptist.

Years before, I made the decision that the only time I should feel obligated to reveal my sexual orientation was when there was something positive in it for me—like a quick way to get rid of a Jehovah’s Witness. I don’t owe anyone that information, especially someone with the scriptural dexterity to bless me in one breath and to condemn me to hell in the next.

“Actually,” the caller said, “I had heard you were gay before you showed up.” He told me that when the dean found out I was coming, he had done his best to cancel my reading. I had not known at the time that my gay presence was sufficient to cause a scandal. What would happen if I were to actually talk about it? Read complete article & more – Fortunate Families - Newsletters February 2010

The Fortunate Families newsletter is published 8 to 10 times yearly. It includes up-to-date news concerning lesbian and gay Catholics and their parents, thought-provoking articles, stories from parents and others, and a calendar of events.

We welcome your comments, and especially your hope-filled stories! Newsletters are available as Adobe Acrobat documents.

www.fortunatefamilies.com/newsletters.htm

New Ways Ministry - Reponse To - U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops

www.newwaysministry.org

Response to Cardinal George's February 5, 2010, Statement

Statement of Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director, New Ways Ministry

New Ways Ministry will continue its bridge-building work between lesbian/gay Catholics and the Church because that work is needed now more than ever. Cardinal George’s statement of February 5, 2010, will not impede or slow us in our efforts to work for justice for lesbian/gay people in the Church and society.

We are astonished that Cardinal George released such a statement, since New Ways Ministry has never been contacted by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to discuss the nature of our work. We were not even extended the basic courtesy of being informed of the statement as it was being released to the press. Instead, we learned about it only by reading a press account.

When dealing with such a sensitive topic as homosexuality, it is not surprising that questions will arise from individual Church leaders. Yet, for more than three decades, New Ways Ministry has had its programs reviewed by scores of Catholic bishops, theologians, and pastoral leaders, and we have always been found to be firmly in line with authentic Catholic teaching.

If the USCCB had concerns about our ministry, why didn’t they contact us before a judgment was made? Why was New Ways Ministry not given an opportunity to explain our positions?

For almost 33 years New Ways Ministry has been sustained spiritually by the prayers of millions of Catholics, and we owe it to these supporters to continue the work to which God has called us.

New Ways Ministry calls on its supporters not to give up hope in the Catholic Church, but to continue to pray and work for the day when lesbian/gay people are welcomed as full and equal members in our beloved Church. Read more - New Ways Ministry

Related links:

Fortunate Families – Rally Support For - New Ways Ministry

Equal Rights are a Catholic Concept, Too - BY MICHAEL A. JONES – February 6, 2010

“New Ways Ministry” Symposium Pastor "Comes Out" March 1997 - Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz

Kids Are Being Hurt !!!

Benedict XVI Purposefully Ordered Cover-ups by Hierarchy Intentionally “Violating” Rights of Children for Decades - News Reports

Benedict XVI & accomplices in Fear as -> “Obama signs hate-crimes bill” by Rex Wockner

Ratzinger, Hurley, Maida & accomplices

WATERGATE (AGAIN)?

RC hierarchy child sexual abuse “cover-ups” orderedby Benedict XVI to avoid public outrage & criminal charges falsely accused gay priests, WATERGATE? - December 17, 2009 - Revised January 15, 2010

“If you shut up truth and bury it under the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way.” Emile Zola

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs. Luke 12:3

Fortunate Families – Rally Support For - New Ways Ministry

www.newwaysministry.org

Dear Friends and Supporters of Fortunate Families,

We write to ask you to consider writing in support of New Ways Ministry.

Most of you know that New Ways has been striving for many years in its mission to be a bridge-building ministry between lesbian/gay Catholics and their families and friends, and the institutional church. Yet, it's authenticity as a Catholic group has recently been challenged by Cardinal Francis George, archbishop of Chicago and president of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Relative to Fortunate Families, New Ways has been extremely supportive of Catholic parents of LGBT persons, from its 1994 offering of the first national retreat for Catholic parents to its more recent symposiums, retreat/workshops and Next Steps programs that always include parent concerns in the programming.

If you have been to any New Ways program, you know how sensitive New Ways always is to the pastoral concerns of the attendees and addressing those concerns within the framework of the Catholic moral and social justice tradition.

Please read Frank DeBernardo's note below and the other material referenced, including Cardinal George's statement. We strongly encourage you to respond in the manner that Frank suggests.

Thank you for your consideration of this request!

Blessings!

Mary Ellen & Casey Lopata

Fortunate Families, Inc. - PO Box 18082 - Rochester, NY 14618-0082

585-698-6100 - www.fortunatefamilies.org - info@fortunatefamilies.com

"I'm proud to be a Listening Parent in support of Fortunate Families. Check out the Listening Parents Network at http://fortunatefamilies.com/listen.htm"

Related links:

New Ways Ministry

Equal Rights are a Catholic Concept, Too - BY MICHAEL A. JONES – February 6, 2010

“New Ways Ministry” Symposium Pastor "Comes Out" March 1997 - Holy Family Parish - Sparta, Michigan USA - Fr. Marty Kurylowicz

Kids Are Being Hurt!!!

WATERGATE (AGAIN)?

RC hierarchy child sexual abuse “cover-ups” ordered by Benedict XVI to avoid public outrage & criminal charges falsely accused gay priests, WATERGATE? - December 17, 2009 - Revised January 15, 2010

Benedict XVI & accomplices in Fear as -> “Obama signs hate-crimes bill” by Rex Wockner

Ratzinger, Hurley, Maida & accomplices

Benedict XVI Purposefully Ordered Cover-ups by Hierarchy Intentionally “Violating” Rights of Children for Decades - News Reports

Benedict XVI’s Child Sexual Abuse - Still More Cover-ups – Now In – Germany * Kids Are Being Hurt !!!

Kids Are Being Hurt!!!

Important note: I mean no disrespect to Pope Benedict XVI or the hierarchy, the one and only concern is the safety and well-being of children. Kids are being hurt!!!

“If you shut up truth and bury it under the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way.” Emile Zola

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs. Luke 12:3

Fortunate Sons - Tom and Linda Karle Nelson

Fortunate Families Newsletter

Number 57 January 2010

Catholic Families Advocating Respect and Justice for their Gay & Lesbian Children

How two parents of gay sons are breaking down the barriers between Catholicism and gay rights by Jessica Carreras, in “Between the Lines” #1749, 12-3-09, Livonia MI, with permission.

"I was totally ignorant when I found out I had a gay son," Tom Nelson of Farmington Hills says candidly to Between The Lines, sitting at the local Panera Bread with his wife, Linda Karle-Nelson, sipping his coffee and surrounded by strangers.

He says the words "gay son" openly, loudly, as though he is discussing something as simple and noncontroversial as the weather.

The truth is that Tom, 80, and Linda, 69, have come a long way to be able to speak freely about gay issues. But now that they've started, they won’t stop. Both Tom and Linda are board members of Fortunate Families, a group created by and for Catholic families with lesbian and gay children. They participate in PFLAG Detroit. They advocate for gay rights through letters and speaking to legislators. And they work hard to ensure that parents like them can love their God and their children.

Their story is both universal and unique to parents of LGBT kids: grappling with the clash of religion and family, learning and altering their beliefs, and ultimately, becoming two of the most impassioned allies Michigan's gay community has ever known.

Read the complete article Tom and Linda Karle Nelson - Fortunate Families Newsletter - http://www.fortunatefamilies.com/newsletters.htm

Fortunate Families - newsletter/Nov2009 - Regarding the Bishops' draft pastoral letter on Marriage

http://fortunatefamilies.com/Newsletters/Nov2009Newsletter.pdf

SPECIAL NOTE: This newsletter is devoted to letters readers shared with us that they wrote to a U.S. Bishop (or Bishops) regarding the Bishops' draft pastoral letter on marriage ("Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan").

The November 2009 newsletter includes:

• Words to ponder

• Readers write to Bishops about USCCB draft of marriage pastoral

• Dear Bishop… (excerpts)

• Thanks!

If the link above is not active, copy and paste the link address to your web site search box, and search:

[NOTE: You need Adobe Acrobat PDF reader software to view the newsletter or the Listening Parents Network brochure. You can download Adobe Acrobat reader for free from this link: http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html]

If this doesn't work for the newsletter, "Reply" and ask for a text version. We'll email you the PDF or Word version--whichever you prefer.

Blessings! Casey

Mary Ellen & Casey Lopata

Fortunate Families, Inc.

PO Box 18082

Rochester, NY 14618-0082

585-698-6100

www.fortunatefamilies.org

info@fortunatefamilies.com

"I'm proud to be a Listening Parent in support of Fortunate Families.

Check out the Listening Parents Network at

http://fortunatefamilies.com/listen.htm"

States with more Catholics more favor gay rights – by Cathy Lynn Grossman - USA TODAY

Want to predict which state might move next to legalize same-sex marriage? You might count Catholics. The higher their percentage of the population, the more likely the state is to... support gay rights.

This counter-intuitive finding is brought to you with a tip of two hats -- mine to Mark Silk at Spiritual Politics and his to Robbie Jones who led Silk to a new study soon by be published by two Columbia University political scientists. Read complete article and more by Cathy Lynn Grossman - USA TODAY

Catholics, same-sex marriage...and the GOP

by Mark Silk, prop. – Spiritual Politics

In response to my recent postings (here and here) on the correlation between Catholic presence and support for same-sex marriage (SSM), I've received an interesting (yet unpublished) paper from Darren Sherkat of Southern Illinois and some colleagues conjuring via regression analysis with a number of factors involved in the politics of the issue over the past two decades. The money finding is that whereas just about everyone was in the same place on SSM in 1988 (Democrats and Republicans, Catholics and Protestants), now opposition has become locked into GOP identity. Read Complete article and more by Mark Silk, prop. – Spiritual Politics

Despite what Church Says, Many Catholics Support Same-Sex Marriage - BY MICHAEL A. JONES – Gay Rights

It's no secret that the institutional Catholic Church thinks that marriage equality is a sign of the end of days. Witness the activism of the Catholic Church in Maine to take away the civil rights of gays and lesbians, or the outspokenness of Catholic politicos like Rick Santorum (who just this week sent out an appeal message for the National Organization for Marriage).

But here's the funny thing: despite what the institutional Church - the bishops, the Pope, the talking heads that get themselves on TV - says about same-sex marriage and LGBT rights, Catholics themselves as a whole seem to favor equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender folks. The proof?

A religious scholar, Mark Silk, who took a Columbia University study examining support for same-sex marriage, and meshed it with a study analyzing religious identification. When the two data sets are merged, one thing becomes clear. Here's the juice, according to Silk:

Six of the eight states where 50 percent or more of the public supports gay marriage are the states with the highest proportion of Catholics, ranging from Rhode Island at 46 percent to New York and California at 37 percent.

Cathy Lynn Grossman at USA Today has this to say about the weird dichotomy at play here, between an institutional Church adamantly opposed to same-sex marriage, and a flock of followers who think that marriage equality is just another item in a line of civil rights due LGBT folks.

The bishops have campaigned long, loudly and clearly against same-sex marriage but the Catholic Church also offers a pervasive message of social justice, an umbrella many liberal Catholics stand under when they argue for marriage equality or life issues such as abortion, contraception and end-of-life decisions. Photo

Read complete article & Learn more by MICHAEL A. JONES

Michael Jones
Communications Director
Human Rights Program
Harvard Law School

Kissing for Equal Rights

Obama, the Antichrist, the Apocalypse and LGBT Rights

Focus on the Family Wants to Have Coffee With You

A "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Legislative Analysis

Is Tobacco the Number One Cause of Death Among Gays and Lesbians?

Prayers for Bobby 2009

Prayers for Bobby (2009) (TV)

In "Prayers for Bobby," Mary Griffith is a devout Christian who raises her children with the conservative teachings…

…However, when her son Bobby confides to his older brother he may be gay, life changes for the entire family after Mary learns about his secret. While Bobby's father and siblings slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, Mary believes God can cure him of what she considers his 'sin' and persuades Bobby to pray harder and seek solace in church activities in hopes of changing him. Desperate for his mother's approval, Bobby does what is asked of him, but through it all, the church's apparent disapproval of homosexuality causes him to grow increasingly withdrawn and depressed… Read more www.prayersforbobby.com

From big screen to Lifetime, Susan Sarandon to Sigourney Weaver, it's taken 12 years to bring Prayers for Bobby, the story of homophobe-turned-activist Mary Griffith, to life.

Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe winner Sigourney Weaver stars in this emotional true story about a 1970s religious suburban housewife and mother who struggles to accept her young son Bobby being gay. What happens to Bobby is tragic and causes Mary to question her faith; ultimately this mom changes her views in ways that she never could have imagined. Photo & more & video trailer 111,282

Sexual orientation is less about sex and more about love, being one with another human being. Attachment Theory - LOVE & RELIGION

Sexual Orientation, Breathing and Heart Beating - Operate Automatically and Continuously

By Dale Hrabi Read more Advocate.com - Photo - Mary Griffith and her family and friends participate in a gay pride parade holding a PFLAG banner.

With all due respect, I do not know how Pope Benedict XVI and his hierarchy are able to maintain an uninformed conscience, a self-imposed ignorance about the truth of human sexuality, particularly about homosexual orientation and gender identity and that by their ignorance cause life threatening harm and death to millions of innocent children. How can they be so harden against human life? They did not protect children in the decades of sexual abuse sandals and again they are not protecting children. I do not know how in good conscience they can even cerebrate mass; it is such a sacrilege for them to do so. This is especially true when Benedict XVI has absolutely no substantiated evidence, the supported documentary evidence that is accepted by most authorities in the field to back up his teachings on human sexuality, homosexual orientation and gender identity. I furthermore do not understand how such a religious leader is allowed to continue with this blatant harm (crimes against humanity) in the Catholic Church to go unchecked, unchallenged, and is even allowed to silence the clergy and religious who speak out for the truth. Something is so terribly wrong with this system, which turns a blind eye to the fact that "Kids are being hurt!!!" And that no one in the hierarchy or in the Vatican cares enought to try to stop it. Some serious waves need to be made! It is such a grievous sin agaisnt children that it forever crys to heaven for justice. Thank God for PFLAG, Fortunate Families and many many other parents support groups around the world whose purpose is for the safety and well-being of LGBT children. These parents have a non-stop ticket straight to heaven when they die, they must truly be God's angels here on earth. As a priest, who is concerned and involved in LGBT issues, you very quickly come know more than one story like Bobby's, way too many more to be able in good conscience remain silent and not take a stand to protect children. For every story that is told like Bobby's there are thousands of other similar stories never told that are just as tragic and many even more tragic. Thank God Bobby's story was told for us all. It hurts so deeply knowing that there are ways in the Catholic Church that could of and should of prevented his death. It is criminal that it has to take the death of innocent children to awaken us to our responsibility to protect children, however, it has not yet awaken Benedict XVI and his hierarchy. In the meantime, they can only be left in the hands of God. I do not believe in leaving the priesthood or the Catholic Church, but I wholeheartedly believe in "cleaning house" with the help of God. "Kids are being hurt!!!"

Fr. Marty Kurylowicz

Metro DC PFLAG Education a short excerpt from

Mary Griffith's Story


By Robert Bernstein

...One Friday night in August 1983, Bobby had dinner with his cousin. She noticed that he seemed thoughtful, perhaps depressed. He seemed to want to talk about something, but said little. Then he left, saying he was taking a bus to go dancing downtown.

Early the next morning, two men driving to work noticed a young man, later identified as Bobby, on an overpass above a busy thoroughfare. As they described the next few moments, the boy walked to the railing, turned around, and did a sudden back flip into mid-air. He landed in the path of an eighteen-wheeler.

Bobby's body was return to Walnut Creek for funeral services in the Presbyterian church. The minister told the mourners that Bobby was gay, and suggested that his tragic end was the result of his sinning.

Later, the Griffiths met with their pastor for grief counseling. In her despair, Mary was seeking ways to atone for the loss of Bobby. She told the pastor she knew there were "other Bobbys out there" and asked how she could help them. The pastor merely shrugged his shoulders—and Mary never again returned to that church.

However, she did not lose her sense of religion. Her speech resonates with the tones of spiritual awareness. But she has found a very different God from the one she worshiped at Walnut Creek Presbyterian. She reread her Bible with fresh eyes, and sought out secular books about homosexuality. She concluded that there was nothing wrong with Bobby, that "he was the kind of person God wanted him to be...an equal, lovable valuable part of God's creation." She says now, "I helped instill false guilt in an innocent child's conscience." ...

Read complete story

www.pflagdc.org/education/griffith.php

An Interview With Mary Griffith, the Inspiration Behind Prayers for Bobby - Lifetime

The Evolution of Prayers for Bobby – Advocate.com

Prayers for Bobby: TV Guide News

"Prayers for Bobby" Trailer 111,293

www.prayersforbobby.com

A review of Prayers for Bobby and about the author Leroy Aarons

Links to LGBT parents support groups, suppling numerous resources for parents.

PFLAG National

Fortunate Families

A Catholic Presence at Gay Pride 2009